i'll shatter the galaxy for you, my darling

piece it together in your eyes

a mosaic of constellations we so adored

because you're leaving soon, my darling

so the last thing you see

will not be my tear-streaked face

it shall be the breathtaking stars

torn asunder in the neverending cosmos

to twinkle in disjointed chaos

until your light fades out

i'll miss you, my darling

Love is the gut wrenching pain of knowing that I cannot ever hold you in my embrace again. It's the knowledge that you're gone but I'm still here, heart in searing pain. It's knowing that I cannot move on because there's no one as good as you to be found on this earth. Love has become the simple fact of loving a past memory of us.

You are my mother’s daughter.

The perfect embodiment of everything a girl is meant to be.

Your makeup is always used lightly-- enough that your features remain unchanged but still with the basic enhancements. You hide your little insecuritites underneath but we all know that your perfection always remains regardless.

Your hair is always maintained and neat. It doesn't scream that you're trying too hard though. Your go to is always keeping it down or in a high ponytail. But that's not to be confused with the implication that you don't care because the highlights in your hair make it apparent that you're dressing up. But we all know it's for you, not anyone else.

Your clothing is simple with what I've always called the cliche of jeans. You're too good for the mainstream of leggings. But don't worry, it's not anything you've said that makes this a fact but rather the way you carry yourself. You're clever though. Because in this moment of supposed holier-than-thouness you've embraced crop tops and casual t-shirts making it imposible to hate you because it's oh-so-relatable.

But nothing, nothing, tops the perfection of your personality. It isn't that you are literally perfect but rather the fact that you try so hard to be so that makes it that way. You want to be the best person you possibly can be. You aren't satisfied with existing. You have this known desire to be the best. It's this fire I see in your eyes that it isn't enough being you in this present because you can become better for the future.

It's the same fire I used to have and now desire and covet more than anything. It's a will to live, a longing that the future still has hope. It is your brightness that drew me to you because I thought that being your friend would help me get close to the warmth and understanding ways of my past. But what I underestimated was how quickly the same fire could burn.

It's not your fault. It never could be. You are the striving to perfection that draws boys to your dorm door and girls to your side. You are shining brightly, brighter more than before. This is your fairytale and you are living it fearlessly.

I wanted to be your friend. A sister even. Of for fucks sake, I wanted to be you. But, unfortunately, there's only room for one princess in this tale. The glass slipper fits too big and the crown slips off. It was never meant to be my fit. So I sit and I clap as you enter this ball, just an unknown ugly step-sister you'll leave forgotten in your past.

You are Cinderella and this is your beautiful story.

This is me
I'm much more complicated
than what you see.
Like a book I have a cover
like my smile
that conceals the pages,
the chapters I hide inside.
I act as if I'm the most
confident,
when my walls
are crumbling.
I walk as though
I have walked
through many storms
like this.
When I see him across
the street
I wither away into
a nothingness-
I'm not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not perfect.
The scars plastered
on my arms
remind me of my strength
although the voice in my mind
tells me otherwise.
Through churning waters
I struggle to swim,
I'm barely floating.
Stopped eating to make
myself happy,
was I?
Locked myself behind doors
to cry endless tears
over someone who didn't care
let alone even knew
what I was worth.
Who am I?
Not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not perfect.
Just a girl who
wanted to be happy.
Who changed for a world that
never dared to change
for her.
A girl who gave her all
to those who came
into the chapters
she was writing,
but left even when she begged
for them to stay.
I'm breaking inside
don't you see?
I'm much more complicated
than how I seem
but I sit in the bathroom stall
trying to breath,
trying to hold on -
trying to find someone
to help me.
No one will realize
when I'm gone
because I'm the girl
who always laughs
the one who's happy
intelligent,
even beautiful
to all the others
but still doesn't see it in herself.
Not good enough
Not pretty enough
Not perfect
is what she repeats.
This is the girl who can't
hold on anymore.
This is me.