the sun washes up,

facedown/ two pavement cracks

apart/ dandelion fluff boat crashes,

on the unforgiving linoleum

of the sea floor/ and the elegant curve

of your throat, pruned with too salty

bathwater// you said it would help you think //

drooping, because sometimes even a distorted reality

is too much/ instead, you watch the lone crest of the moon

over the weary horizon/

the sweet rustle of ripened foliage/

from the slanted joint of your fingers

does the deep light sedate your mind?

oh to be alone- truly!

Beneath the soft crumbling of shale

and the sloped faces of the

sea-bruised cliffsides,

there’s a spot where the waning sun strikes a salt crusted smear of dandelions

and there,

when their leaves unfurl and emerge

from their stagnant chrysalis

and they raise their meek, bowed

heads

That- that is where your lungs

will fill,

finally

and

your

parched throat

and

your

bruised eyes

and

your

barbed wrists

can rest.

the sky falls,

spins like some crimson horse

shatters like your heart did,

when she said she didn’t love you anymore,

and the melancholy wail

of some long forgotten rhythm

moves you

to rosy tears

that spread like wildfire

and hurt

just

as

much

I was wrong

all along...

about just

what it is 

that goes

off and on

. . .

Reconsider

our fall and

come and go

as you please...

my love for you

stays with me.

#Iwaswrong #Challenge

in this house

we flush our problems down the toilet

so that suffering and grief is only ever the gurgle of water/ wondrous/

thirsty/ as it swallows whatever we need to get rid of.

this is how we did away with my goldfish

& they say,

too, that this is how my mama did away with my baby sister/ coathanger and toilet/

felt like wet paint. said it was all dark

/and warm red.

in this house we break teeth not bones;

here we are taught: love is not gentle or pretty.

love is mutilation, soft /soft hurt,

feeding me your bits of rotten meat/ and tender fatigue/

and praying

that when god forgets you

& you become nothing less/ or more

than carrion amongst carrion in still water,

she will give you a (new) body

so much greater

than this.

#poetry #fiction

Blood rains thick upon those who cast thee out.

Dripping drapes covers thine wretched soul with weary eyes and collapsed smiles.

A mind is only capable of what the person desires.

But shall it all finish with a dreary end on a lifeless corpse?

Life that is, most precious about breathing.

Until families dishonored with stainfull cleaning.

Oh but what is the point if we make haste toward the stars?

We all go one day, it will never matter who we are.

A dagger to the heart is truly what I ponder.

But will my life be squander if its Hell to which I yonder?

Thine's lifes a waste to be masqueraded as precious.

Id rather swim in river Styx, with the evil and angry fishes.

At least then my life will not be remembered by my own.

I never had a people to rule from my throne.

So now my kingdoms open, the crown is for the taking.

But be careful of the curse if your soul does the faking.

I was not fit to lead my own mind.

Once the crown is yours, all the secrets you will find.

Make haste bright soul, thy curse does not like to wait.

It will find you in the end of course... Why... Its your fate!

I do not know who I am.

I have lost myself

Too afraid to stare

At my own reflection

Too afraid to stare

At my blood ridden hands

Too afraid to realize

That I have murdered the girl

Within myself to feel

The hurt that keeps me writing.

It is not the ink of my pen

That spills all secrets, but the blood

flow between my fingertips,

Rushing to give form to another life:

Words that shall never die

Even if my body may.

At first

I am nervous

Having never even touched a girl

or a guy

it's our first date

I look at you

I see your beauty

I want to cry

but I don’t.

it’s our fifth date

we know eachother well

we bond

we laugh

by our tenth date

I have to hold myself back

from saying I love you

at the end of the night

we call eachother everyday

for weeks

until I fell

down a deep dark hole in my mind

I can’t think of anything good anymore

one day

I am late for our date

I’m never late

you open the door to my apartment

and find me sobbing

but you don’t run away

you run to me

to

comfort.

I tell you I’m depressed

you

want to help me get better?

you don’t think I’m weird?

a freak?

an attention seeker?

I start to cry in relief

I have faith in you.

-Z