STone Temple Pilots. Plush

Where you going for tomorrow?

Where you goin' with the mask I found?

And I feel, and I feel

When the dogs begin to smell her

Will she smell alone?

And I feel, so much depends on the weather

So is it raining in your bedroom?

And I see, that these are the eyes of disarray

Would you even care?

When my eyes met your chocolate brown ones for the very first time,

My heart stopped. My breathing no longer continued.

I could not bring my chest to rise and fall

or my lungs to fill with oxygen.

I was breath taken.

You are breathtaking.

As a person who has always known the right words to say,

I was pretty damn speechless.

I had no words for the type of feeling that I was experiencing—

why my heart was still,

But also racing,

No explanation for the lump in my throat

Or the choked “hello” that squeaked out of it.

When my eyes met yours for the first time,

I knew.

I knew you would become my gravity.

Holding me to this rock in space that we both call home.

How lucky could I be to live on the same planet as someone as beautiful as you.

With someone who had skin as soft as yours,

Teeth as white,

Smile as lovely as yours.

How I could be so lucky is beyond me.

When my eyes met yours for the second time—

I was just as speechless.

Even after having gone home and practiced my “hello”,

My “are you busy”,

My “we should hang out sometime”,

I still choked out a half a phrase and a smile.

I have never been speechless before,

But now, every time I see your smile, I can not find my words,

And I stumble over the ones that I can.

I wish I knew what to say to you,

But for now, a smile will have to suffice.

When we hugged for the first time

It was a warmth spreading throughout my body.

The slow, thawing of my battered and frozen heart.

You were not scared of my battered and frozen love.

You welcomed it.

And then, when my hand touched yours for the very first time I almost collapsed.

You made my knees go weak.

The jolt of electricity that shot through my body was impossible ignore,

And made it just as impossible to breathe.

I sharply inhaled and I felt a throbbing in my heart,

I looked at you and you smiled.

It was radiant.

You are radiant.

Giving off the best vibe even when you are unhappy,

Even when you do not want to smile,

Even when you have reopened the scars on your arm—

You make me feel warm inside.

And when my lips finally touched yours for the first time,

They burned.

My ears grew hot,

My face turned bright red.

The exhilarating rush you gave me when your lips pressed against mine in an unpracticed kiss, was indescribable.

Making me want to scream,

But in fear of what words, or noises would come out,

I remained silent.

I told you I enjoyed it.

The second time you kissed me,

We stayed there a bit longer,

Parted our lips a little more,

Held each other a little tighter.

The third time,

And the fourth,

It got even better.

Every time we would pull away and smile,

Look each other in the eye and tell the other that we enjoyed it.

What I have wanted to say is,

”kiss me again”

Or “never let me go”

Or “gosh, I could kiss you for ever.”

So please,

Kiss me,

Never let go,

Because I could kiss you forever.

Hold me in your arms and hold me there forever.

And as my lips fall onto yours for what could be the last time,

Never pull away.

Kiss me forever.

For I am scared of what will happen if you do not.

Please, do not leave me.

Kiss me again,

Never let go.

And now,

As my eyes lay on yours for what could be the very last time.

I feel sad.

I feel a type of sadness I have never felt before.

I feel my heart hurt.

I am speechless,

I do not know what to say.

So I say nothing.

My heart stops.

My breathing no longer continues.

I can not bring my chest to rise and fall or my lungs to fill with oxygen.

So I hold your hand in mine, for what could be the very last time.

I think about the things I may do without you.

How, I will wander into the middle of intersections

And climb to the top of buildings, leaning over the edge,

Begging the earth to reclaim me.

I will get as far from the ground as possible for, on me, it has lost it’s gravity.

It can no longer hold me here for,

You no longer hold me here.

So I will savor this moment,

And every moment before.

Kiss me again,

Never let me go.

How can I say it?

That I’m thankful for you

For the silent thoughtfulness

In everything you do

Although you may not know it

I enjoyed your company

With the blooming conversations in the air

Ones you couldn’t have with just anybody

My deepest thoughts, I shared

And with an open heart, you listened

I had no reason to be scared

Tongue-tied we may be

And filled with silence from time

You’ve still filled me with glee

I only hope this message can reach to you

On how you’re so much more than you think you are

Perhaps maybe one day, you’ll see

But for now you’re stubborn like an old oak tree!

May our lost friendship be renewed

Like the leaves in the Spring Breeze

There in the night, when crickets sing,

To our song played on cicada wings

Our own world to create as we wish.

Our own world to discover!

We'll dance through our land together.

Breath in the air and its crystal clearness.

Listen to the stars as they spin around us.

Sharing stories of how they crossed lovers.

Not like us, yet just like us.

As we dance in their light forever.

How sweet a song we hear as we dance!

The one of fate and unwavering chance.

Two worlds colliding into a nebula.

Dangerous.

Beautiful.

Chaotic.

Exciting.

Our creed to create.

Our need to love.

Our bond through time.

Forged there, way above.

She is an enigma.

A great work of art,

made to love and be loved.

The thing is,

shes volatile,

and dramatic,

and oh so passionate.

She's as grounded as a hot air balloon,

as stable as a rocking horse.

A creature like that can't be caught.

I stare as her chest rises and falls, nestled in the home that I have made for her.

Absolutely enamoured, and steadily terrified.

She'll be gone by the time the sun rises and I'll still be writing of her by the time the sun sets.

She is everything.

Grandpa Al was one of the men in my life that I will never forget. He is the man that I will always think about and my memories of him I cherish . I hope to one day share this with my son who never got to know his great grandfather.

Al Chinn was a man that seemed to know it all. He could put a smile on your face when you needed it, fix your car on the side of the road, your microwave or refrierator, and he could also warm you up and make your soul melt with his homemade cusines, particularly his Asian dishes.

As a young child, I just really appreciated the way that he cooked meals for me, and tickled me. He always knew how to make me have a better day. Later on in life, in my teenage years especially, he would share his grandfatherly wisdom, but I never saw him as my grandpa, but a famous man around Wilmington and a second dad to me. When he hurt I hurt. When he died everyone in Wilmington almost, came to his visitation and his funeral.

It's bad to worship someone , except God, but things were just different when he was around. Nothing seemed as trivial and his presence numbed all the bad things that everyone felt. As his health declined though, everyone felt the weight of his demise and we began the grieving process.

When I was younger I never wanted to think about death or dying, but it's a part of life. I guess I thought my grandpa was invinsible, and then I learned the sad truth. One day I took him for granted. I had my own young adult life that included some things I wasn't proud of, but seeing him was not on the top of the list. I remember when my parents sat me down at On the Border restaurant and told me that my grandpa only had a short time to live. They didn't tell me how long. I continued on with life and then one day when my mom showed up at my job crying, I knew then that something was wrong. I knew that I was gonig to have to hold her and one of us was going to have to drive. She knew how visibly upset I was and so she went ahead and drove us to the hospital. As we were surrounded by our family and friends, I never realized how much the weight of death had until I went into his room and looked at his face , pale as ghost or a white sheet, his lips were blue, and he was cold. He looked so peaceful in his sleep as he went on to be with the Lord. For that I was grateful that he had accepted him as his Lord and Savior. It hadn't been that long ago.

I remember when we had his visitation and I went up to the casket becuase we had an open casket and saw him there. I told him that I loved him even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I walked away. That night I cried and cried away from my grandma and especially my dad. I didn't want him to see how hurt I really was . I knew that it had to be ten times the hurt for him since it was his father. I know myself, as close as I have come a few times to losing my own father , that I would be devastated if my dad passed away, even though him and I had a strained relationship a few times in my life.

At his funeral was the worst. My grandpa loved to hear me play flute and so he would record me playing my flute for hours. He wouldn't leave. He sat there and listened tom e play and he cried with joy every time I played something that struck him. Well, I promised that when he died that I would play at his funeral. I didn't realize how many people were there. I dont' know if I was just nervous, grieving, or both, but I had a hard time getting through the song that I chose to play for him . " It is well with my soul. " Even now when I hear it or "Wind Beneath my Wings" or The " Rose" by Bette Midler, I tear up.

I miss the days when I used to galivant with my grandpa and grandma, and I didn't push my limits with rebellion. I miss the carefree days. The eggrolls, the laughs, the tears, and not ever wanting to go home. My mom was actually jealous, becuase I wanted to stay at their house more than her house and I ate there more.

While I could be down about my grandpa dying, my grandma is doing well and has and I had closure a few months after he died when he appeared in a dream. Also, my dad is the closest thing to my grandpa that anyone ever will be and it's comforting to know that I can sense my grandpa when I am with my dad, or when I cook Asian food, or even just in small things. My grandpa is my guardian angel and I know that myself, as well as my family, miss him terribly, but we will have our memories nad cherish those, as bad as it hurt to lose him physically on this earth.

The sensation is like the giddy feeling of infatuation that used to dance across my chest. I think of how her perfume would melt my mind, like I was being accepted into the arms of Mother Nature. I would lay my head on her bosom and, all at once, the fire of existence was extinghuised! I stare out at the ocean now, at waves and air and sun. It is not so grand like I once believed. Purpose is not on the horizon anymore. I do not see it in the stars or in Einstein or van Gogh, not in Jesus or the Buddha. I do not see it in my work, in the universe. Truth has become vacant; it only alludes to her presence. I look at the ocean as I think of this, and the setting sun does not fill me with wonder as it once did. I am hopeless, I am no longer a child, hope has died with her.

Am I dreaming in my sleep

Or just sleeping in my dream?

Is this reality I’m living

Or just something in between?

Are the feelings I feel real

Or just reeling in my mind?

Can you feel if I’m being honest

Or am I just being kind?

Have I used you in a bad way?

It was never my intent.

I just couldn’t find the right words

To express the things I meant.

But I think you understand me

And that’s all I need from you

When I’m standing under your gaze

Then I understand you, too.

Female. 26. Free to good home.

I am currently giving away a female to the first interested party.

She isn’t very girly (wears sneakers even with a dress).

She’ll never be able to tag along to your favorite Italian restaurant (just the smell of dairy makes my stomach churn).

She isn’t always very confident (even if you repeatedly tell her she should be).

Her anxiety may make her think the worst sometimes (and you can’t fix it).

Worst of all:

If you fall in love with her

You’ll never be the same.

~

brass

e c h o e s

languid tears

o f s o l e m n i t y

.

|

|

|

~