in a dream I was the starry cold sky.

A success

a failure

a scream of distress.

A queen of regality,

a plebeian of the earth

a shameless politician. 

In a dream I was everything and nothing

i was wrongfully right

i was a wild thing upon the ocean night.

I loved her so

But she not me

Or so she said

I said, “I see.”

I went in search

Of love again

Found a heart

T'was on the mend

Fell deep did I

But was it right

To cast aside

What felt so right

For others, too

Of younger age

Had stolen this heart

Before turning the page

Hastily leaping

For what seemed true

Knowing however

Iʼd bid adieu

To warmest hearts

Iʼd ever felt

And disappointment

I had dealt

To those whoʼs hearts

Had been through hell

And looked to me to

Keep them well

Tears do well

When I think of them

Fondest memories

Shine like gems

But to them

I exist no more

For I have closed

That loving door

For what you ask

They paid this price

How could I hurt

These ones so nice

I have no answer

I have no clue

I am not proud

I am just blue

I'll find my way

Of this Iʼm sure

Hope for forgiveness

From hearts so pure

I have a box on my head

Or a bubble, or a chain with a lock

It's the best I can do

To describe to you how it feels

The silent violence that takes over my entire body

Mostly my mind

Most weeks, doing nothing, being nothing

I should shut up

But you see I have things I like

Things to say

Feelings to express

Actions to take...

I should shut up

It's better to hold on and let the world around close in

Not breathe smoothly

Want to cry and curl up until it just stops....

I should just shut up

They not afraid of our silence

But of our forward progress

So they prop themselves up

They throw stuff at our feet

Thinking they can not be reached

Until we make them comfortable enough Where they fall asleep

No time for a celebration

Time to throw the plan in action

Left right left we fight till the death

We live as one and fight for all

Never been afraid to fall

the ground has always been home the one thing that keeps us humble Doesn't matter where we go

The ground is willing to rumble

As long as you keep your feet planted

You won't be throw from the planet

In the heat of summer, blood dries quickly,

so too in our minds.

Pulse pumped out blood and drowned us,

but we forgot after a week.

Blue blood means nothing,

as we learned in Dallas. 

How many tragedies

to make a nation feel something?

How many funerals for us to cry ?

But no, it passes

along our feeds

because we don't need to feel;

We don't live in the real world anymore.

And sometimes,

I wonder,

in the age of information,

how will God find us online? 

As I write, I seep into different identities

with the ease of an actor trying on costumes.

Unwillingly, I touch my fingers to my lips

though I've never smoked;

this sparks my transformation

into beautiful women drowning in fabric,

or southern farmers with sun-ironed faces,

pale roman scholars penning logical treatises, 

but I am never me.

I am everyone else,

but never me.

I cannot keep a diary.