My dearest, sweetest love,
I am humbly writing to tell you that I,
Am scared.
Pray you, don't misunderstand me,
It is not you that I'm afraid of.
For you have been nothing but beauty,
And I have been nothing but shame.
It is I that I fear and for what I might do
Please, let me explain.
As a creature of habit, I tend not to stray.
There have been many a pattern which show this.
There are reasons, you know, why I do what I do
But that is besides the point.
I have boiled myself down to a body and an ego trip
For thrill seeking men yearning for a sanctuary.
Old habits die hard, it's a fact you know
So please understand why sometimes I'd rather
Entertain a man for a night
Than let one love me for a lifetime.
It's not that I don't want you
Believe me, there's never been a greater lie
It's that I'm not quite sure that I'm cut out for love
Is it a matter of deservence? I'd imagine it is
I'm too lowly a life to reciprocate.
But if I had the chance, I'd take it all back
And start my life with you.
Maybe one day I'll be able to explain
Why I self destruct when a man comes along who says he can make me happy
But for now I'm begging the question:
Why must I reject the prospect?
I'd sooner let myself run on nicotine and speed
Than let him see my body the way I see it in the mirror
I beg for a love where all parts of me are seen
But before I let that happen I sabatoge it all myself
Maybe he'll love me, maybe I can be his mess
Or maybe I'll just die pretending that I'm fine
Destiny, it's a funny word
What are we destined for?
Might I adjust to a ruthless sea
Or push myself overboard for you must never see?
Oh darling, oh love, be glad you've immortalized me
Because my soul will last forever
But I cant say the same for this body.
Virgo Power
Everything in it's place,
I must organize
I worry and I tend to
over-analyze
Virgo isn't an easy sign to fly.
When we do something wrong
We can't help but beat the gong
Perfection is our destiny
It is what will set us free
We are way too critical
Even when we have a skill
Nothing we do is enough
So we tend to be too tough
It's usually not on other folk
We can always take a joke
We are always practical
Pretty good at tactical
If you want someone with reason
Virgo born in summer season
Depending on the way you treat us
We will be there when you need us.
The act. The remains
Remember me in a summer's dream
Summer stock
Grass under our bare feet
How you called William, Billy
And we rolled our pants to our knees
“Breeches"
Fitting
"Fetching" you smiled
Your laugh was a sonnet in and of itself
Fitting
"Fetching” I smiled
That summer
That smile
Was everything
And I can recall it, as plain as day
I can write it and recite it
Like poetry
And I have
So many times it seems
To Helena
From Demetrius
Forever we shall be
Dancing on acid...no real acid.
but I am alone
whispered to my oversexed
libedo,
Fired back
Illuminate
my alter ego
for through him
You can see me tho'
The casino were in
is run by the G-d Number Crew
Widows lined up
To roll em for you.
You're here not so often
as to remember your face
I'd like to hug that memory
when I walk through the gates.
Platinum tears
on luminous alabaster
You don't choose time
its ever faster
as to ever be ahead of even
the Shadowlands
Shires been burnt-
Frodo-slave brand.
I scurry about you
bringing you string,
ribbon and gum wrappers
to build our home as you please.
But I see you,
eyes betray
they are wandering
My Fist clenched, primered
though I shudder and pray.
The bureaucracy
is malignancy
on my zoe, once free;
yet I go back again and again-
stepping over dogs and best friends,
For the hope
that you've changed
or that my vision is better
No longer witness to
Inverted phantasmagorical play,
arranged, scored, starring,
bearing your hand
bearing your lashes
bearing you brand.
All that you be-is contrary,
Its scary youre free.
Countess Elizabeth Bathory
reborn and me
watching me
like a frog on a string.
So here we are dancing
Locked in a preordained set
Occupational hazard
of Making a spectacle of yourself
Is that in the end you're buying a ticket
like all the rest.
Questioning Love
I wish I had words to fill up the hole
These weeks and months are
taking a toll
I see your face when I look at the sky
I can't replace all the time
that's gone by
I often wonder how long I would last
If all that we are was now in the past
What would I do if you
never came back?
I think my life would be totally black
I also wonder if you'd feel the same
If we were playing a much different game
We had what we needed and you
were right here
Would your love for me still be so clear?
I've never doubted my own love for you
But your love for me? I can't be so sure
I'm starting to feel like you never were here
This makes my stomach go
ice cold with fear
That all that we have was only a dream
Or something short term like
vanilla ice cream
I want to find peace even when you're gone
But I'm afraid if I do, it would feel wrong
I feel like if I were okay without you
That all that I'm afraid of is sure
to be true
If I felt fine without you around
Could it really be love that we've found?
It doesn't matter because I'm not okay
I just wait and long for the pass
of each day
I wish that time would go extra fast
That way this insane nightmare can't last
Every time it happens, I finally feel hope
They're sure to remind me that
hope is a joke
It truly appalls me that they
have such power
If things were reversed, how much
would they cower?
It isn't people who are worthy and just
Who get the positions that
require such trust
Cops, guards, lawyers, and judges
Very few are above childish grudges
The freedom and lives and futures
of so many
Are subject to corruption,
no mercy, not any
The judge is a man who used to be a lawyer
Well lawyers are just about as honest
as Tom Sawyer
It astounds me that these unfeeling fucks
Have complete authority to
line up our ducks
Do these judges ever get questioned?
Maybe now and then under
highest discretion
When are we going to stand up and fight?
When will our people see
they have rights?
We still have our arms and we are many
It won't be long tho til we
don't have any
No longer can we really stand up and rave
The land of the free and the
home of the brave
Freedom isn't a reality here
And this gets more true year after year
But back to the issue of
the me and the you
I guess it's something that I always knew
Is that I love you with all of my heart
And I never again want us
to
be
apart.
Brush
Who are you,
Stranger in the street?
A thousand little universes
And possibilities
Wrapped inside a secret place.
What do you
Bury deep down?
Are there worlds
That you keep hidden
To yourself?
Did you know
When you walk by
A symphony erupts
Inside my brain?
Your face is morphed
And changed
Into the hero
And the villain.
You are marked with the stain
Of a writer's brush
As you walk silently by,
Oblivious to the
Changes that have
Taken place.
Your life isn't scarred
By black and white
Shackles.
You are free
In this city of granite.
But tomorrow
You will be
But a memory.
