We retreat into the world we created inside of my bedroom. We're finally alone together, but it's not like it used to be. I used to be able to just forget everything and get lost in her embrace. The world would fade away, but now it doesn't. It remains outside the locked door, ready to knock.

I've come to expect interruptions. Texts. Phone calls. The doorbell. And everytime she would break away from me. To text back. To answer her cell phone. To peek out the blinds to see who was at the door.

From the start, I knew that I was her secret. I knew that we had to be careful. So, in a way, I guess it made sense for her to check back into her social circle. Still, I couldn't help but feel like I was easy to push aside.

That's why it isn't easy for me to let my guard down. I don't get swept up in her arms. I don't melt into her kiss. I don't revel in the taste of her strawberry chapstick or the scent of vanilla coming off her skin.

It isn't until we're both undressed and in bed that I begin to unravel. There's nothing between us now. No facades. No distance. No clothes. Just us.

She straddles one of my legs. Her curly brown hair falls over her shoulder with the movement. Her hazel eyes are heated. Her face is flushed. Her lips are bruised from kissing. All because of me.

I reach up to caress her face, trying to get a grasp on what she's feeling. Is it only lust? Or is it more than that? My heart aches, yearning for the answer.

Her body speaks, grinding against me with a fervor that makes my mind go numb. All the while, her gaze is locked onto mine, like she's watching me for my reactions. She's got me moaning, but what really gets my juices flowing is the mere sight of her losing control. She wears an expression of estacy, her eyes darkened with lust. Moans spill out of her mouth as she moves against me, her small round breasts bouncing, her tits erect.

The heat builds and builds until it explodes and overflows through me. My body goes stiff and breaks out into spasms as I cum. I can feel her cum on my thigh shortly after.

She falls beside me, beautifully out of breath. I reach out to hold her and she lets me. She's not much of a cuddler, but she indulges me, anyway. I burrow close to her chest, listening to the sound of her heartbeat. Just as I'm about to drift off, I can feel her hold me closer still.

Come morning, she's gone. She didn't leave a note or even a text. The only trace of her left is the scent she left on my sheets and pillow.

I clutch onto the pillow with a heavy sigh. What am I even doing anymore? In my mind, I know that she's only using me as a way to fulfill her secret desires. But in my heart, I'm hoping for something more. I'm hoping for something that she can't possibly give me.

This world of ours won't ever expand past this bedroom. It'll remain small and brittle until it's destroyed by the very fire that created it.

If you love me

if you care

Hold me fast

and keep me here

I'll be protection

from your foes

I'll fight your battles

i'll boldly go

If I'm your dream

and nightmare too

Don't ignore me

tell the truth

If you don't want me

i'll be alone

But push me out

i'll sadly go

Gather up

your hopes and fears

Tell me stories

keep me here

Take me somewhere

walk real slow

I'll follow you

i'll gladly go

I would give

my life for you

I'm in love

and that's the truth

But if you don't love me

or just don't know

Send me away

i'll boldly go

I know nothing.

(Neither do you.)

Not even sure

the sky is blue.

Billions of planets

Spinnin’ in space—

Round & round,

All over the place.

What’s the chance

We’re all alone—

Living our lives

In a neutral zone.

I know nothing.

(Neither do you.)

We’re just chunks

In a time-space stew.

I carried you as if you were mine to keep

A fool's errand, but I was in too deep

Words that forevermore need not be spoken

Like the sudden shattering of glass

Spell is broken

I bite my tongue. 

I smile.

Because sometimes,

Love is choosing

Your happiness 

Over my own.

I'm sick of the sound

Of the voice in my head

It calls out in riddles and speaks of the dead

I am tired now

It is written all over my face

I want to slide from out of this skin and fade without a trace

The vastness of the hole that pierced her now darkened soul doesn't compare to the emptiness in her heart.

Shadows surround her. She tries to pull away, but can't seem to break apart.

She swallows all her emotions, smiling, just to hide the pain.

Her eyes shadowed. She becomes blind as she begins to go insane.