People keep telling me I'm strong

Like I chose to have a breakdown,

Like I decided it'd be a fun challenge -

Let's train for a marathon, or

try to stick to our diets...oh!

Let's have a mental episode

Just for the fuck of it!

There's no strength in falling apart

Maybe there is in picking up the pieces,

But I'm not picking up the pieces

I'm not doing anything at all.

Thank you for the support, seriously.

It means the world to me.

But stop calling me strong

Because I am not strong.

Warning: This includes erotica, horror, murder and psychological aberrations. 

She danced her finger along the sharp blue steel of the glistening knife blade. She was overwhelmed by intoxication as the claret drops of blood trickled down her bare breasts culminating at the secret place where it all ended. She lifted one of her heavy breasts to her lips, licking the blood with her elongated tongue in a passion of frenzy. Wafting her thoughts through the inner realms of her subconscious, she grasped that the portal to her psychopathic needs could never be locked again. The first half of her life was merely a practice run for her future. The world was opening up to her like a ripe pomegranate ready to burst as swift veins of excitement coursed through her body. She realized that she could never look back.

Peaking around the corner, the man was mesmerized by her crimson beauty, drawn into her sensual vortex. Heated pink steam seemed to arise from her torso. Unable to resist her magnetic appeal, he meandered toward her alluring seductiveness, sucking the beads of lusty hunger from her wet lips. He became aroused as he ran searching fingers down her slippery body, searching for her center.

Her left hand wandered down his torso as he closed his eyes and moaned. Teasing, she lightly touched him and then withdrew, driving him to desperation. When she had driven him completely crazy, she began to frantically stroke his manhood as he lost himself in the epitome of his ecstasy. Drawing out her right hand surreptitiously from behind her back, she plunged the knife, warm from being pressed against her body, into his heart as she climaxed at the same time, rubbing his blood in erotic circles all over her aroused body. He never uttered another word as she tossed her head and laughed in crazed delirium.

Tracing her lips with her pink tongue, she wiped the bloody knife off with the black tresses of her hair as she glanced down at him, lying lifeless on the floor. With a burst of realization, it dawned on her that this was the reason she had been put on this earth. She would be unable to wait more than a few days for the next encounter as she felt the juices stirring through her loins. This fever must be quenched before it ravaged her body and she lost complete control. With mounting anticipation, she looked forward to the next challenge. There would be many more.

Welcome to Ameri-K-K-KA

Land of the damned and home of the enslaved

A place where land is worth more than a fair trade

And someone's final destination is either in jail or in a grave

We live in a place so socially divided that we love to judge someone on their culture, but could never judge ourselves

We are also divided by poor and wealth where the rich people can live in mansions but the less fortunate has to fend for themselves

We live solely off our government, but let me not get into that

If I talk too much they'll surely have it out for my ass

We live in a land that used to be segregated by color but now even the white folks can call niggers brothers

Welcome to Ameri-K-K-Ka, home of the KKK

Not the people you used to hear on the news everyday

No, the people that you walk pass crossing the street

Yes, I mean every single individual that you meet

Take African Americans for instance

We are so hell bent on destruction that we're killing our own race

Let's forget the government placing guns and weapons in our towns, they did that so we can die off at our own pace

We live in the land of opportunity but opportunity never arrives for refugees

They can't cross into our border and if they can you'd find them on the streets homeless, cold - looking for something to eat

They're too broke to even apply for government cheese

Yes we live in America where you see a mixture of races, but mostly whites

You see black people but the vast majority of them like to get into fights

It seems like everyone can come together and fight for social injustice

But do nothing when a leader causes warfare with just a push of a button

Yes, welcome to America, the greatest country in the world

Where we don't hold back any boy or girl

We just let them act a fool and make them famous cause while doing it "they look cool"

We live on a land where Native Americans live on refugee camps and homeless veterans gets no type of respect

Depressed people are often neglected

And bills to enhance our lives are often rejected

We're trying to be a light of hope but that's the opposite of what we're manifesting

Religion often divides us along with money and power

Christians judge others and send them all downwards

Hey.. I bet people in Flint still can't take a shower

I bet Native Americans been stopping that pipeline for hours

But hey don't pay attention to that, watch this

A cute little doggie can do a backflip

Better yet, stray bullets killed 3 kids

Not only that but there's a new virus that's making everyone sick

But on to brighter things there's a giraffe that's pregnant

Oh she finally had her baby? Better late that never

So let's forget about bs like that and find out what the government has done behind our backs

Hello, this is America where voices are left unspoken

And every rise to power is often left broken

But don't be afraid we're the greatest country ever

And just like a church the doors to our country are open

Welcome to America

Prologue

Were all lost among in different galaxies

Gazing into the stars

Hoping that someone is gazing back into our face

that gives a feeling

That we are not alone in our world

Outside the window sill

Humans are all scared of being lonely

Sometimes we need somebody

Because we don't trust ourselves to be alone

With the demons in our head

But when we look up

Into the stars

We like

To believe their is

Something

Out there

ALiens

God

Or etc

That night

I was looking among

The stars

Sitting

And looking

At the window

And I felt this gravitational pull

This feeling I belonged somewhere just not here in this small town

I was smoking cannabis

Just little fucked up for the fun

It was last day of summer

The leaves were aged

The apples crisp

Bursting

The trees withered

The wind changed

The flowers went to sleep

Dreams tucked into nightmares

Yeah nightmares

Junior

Year

Scholarships

Grades that mattered

Teacher shoving down

Recommendations in my mouth

Growing up

Late nights doing homework

Stuck in my jammies

Watching netflix

But my dreams

Were far in the stars

I had many ideas or plans

But they never had a focus point

My friends say I am a dreamer

And they tell me to keep dreaming

My parents say to grow up

If they really knew all the shit

I have done they would know

I have already grew up

But on the streets

And the only home I have is the stars

Anyway My name is casey and here is my story

About getting lost and found 

i'm blue

too blue for you 

so blue it spills over the edges

and comes out as tears

so blue it scared away you

would rather be black and hopeless

too bad 

blue has hope

just enough to keep me going

not enough to take me there

there as in where you are

there as in where I'll never be.

If you’re reading this, you might consider yourself somewhat fortunate. Of the 3000 houses in the immediate suburb, you have broken into my house, you’ve found a bunker full of food and water. That’s not the fortunate part. The fortunate part is that you’re reading my diary, and it might just save your life.

I have limited time. I can’t include everything, so here are the essentials.

They call them ‘Night Lights’.

The sky erupts in colour, spurred on with the lightning and thunder. The light bursts through cloud cover as if clawing through it. Like it has a life of its own. It’s a terrible, unnatural beauty.

The lights are commonly believed to be caused by seismic activity. The truth seekers have many theories. Tests have been conducted sporadically for over a century, normally during earthquakes (hence the connection). The idea is that coverage for the earthquake will wash out the few raving spectators. To aid the government, sceptics have even been planted in the scientific community to dispute victims claiming they’ve seen the phenomenon. They provide the reasonable doubt necessary for the governments to do their job.

Yes, you read correctly.

Though these lights can appear during earthquakes, the earthquakes do not cause them. The government does. The Night Lights we’re seeing tonight act as a warning system. Technology co-created by the government induces these lights. They have extraterrestrial origins, but much more than that, I don’t know. That’s above my security clearance. What I do know is that they have a vested interest in this experiment, and they’ll be watching closely.

The colour of the lights signal clearance agents. Tonight is Status BLUE. Day Zero. Call to action. 24 hours to be underground. There are deep tunnels with train systems that run on magnetic fields. I can be in Europe from New York in under an hour and that’s base of operations for the foreseeable future.

Status YELLOW, you should stay inside and away from open areas. Z Force will begin eradicating the infected. YELLOW acts as a pheromone lure. They will centralise within extermination fields – large blocks of land outside of major cities.

Status GREEN is all clear. The termination quota has been met. When you see that, you’ve made it.

Pray to whatever you believe in you don’t see Status RED. Trust me on this. If you see RED Night Lights, bright flaming crimson - kill yourself.

At the time of writing, you will need to survive at least 12 months before Status GREEN. Those are the present estimates. 12 months to remove more than half of the world’s population via controlled infection.

Stranger, whoever you are, know that at the very highest level, this was planned. This was a highly strategic, systematic cull. There’s nothing more you can do but look to the sky. I wish you the best of luck.