January 08, 2017

To: those left to understand these words,

The time has come, no more jokes, no more prophecies, the end is here. And I don’t know what else to do but write; I was told as a young child that was my purpose. I was told, like the authors of the bible/s, I will someday have something to say which would save lives. And so, I won’t write about my fear, and my children’s fear, what they look like and how we're surviving, but rather I’ll write about what I have been told and warned of over the last 37 years. I will write what they tell me to write, and I will share what they kindly give to me to share with you, the reader. 

“...write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.” 

The spirits started telling me years ago it was time to start preparing for our departure. I first responded to these warnings by storing food and water, and even weapons, in secret from my husband. I was even baptized, so I thoroughly read the New Testament; out of respect, to avoid being completely ignorant, and let’s be honest, to speak intelligently when challenged (I've done my share of challenging believers). So, FYI to those that haven't actually read them—this shit that's going down right now—well, it's all outlined in those pages. And all we well-educated know-it-alls continually mocked it, too smart for it of course. We were all certain that God and the Bible/s were nonsense for the rednecks and brainwashed weaklings that needed a crutch to deal with life. And Hollywood makes a complete joke out of it, like a drug for the masses, Walking Dead was soaked up by those smarter than the powers of our maker/s. But, you know what I’ve learned on my journeys here on Earth? God gives you what you ask for, and often there is no changing your mind—and so viewers asked for it. “Ohh…that season wasn’t gory enough…please more zombies killing people.” Who’s laughing now? Game of Thrones nailed it with the White Walkers. The irony is there are dead-walking-people all around us, it’s just that not everyone can see them, feel them and hear them. But we all sense them, whether we admit to the reality of it or not. In every mirror there is a spirit looking back through you, at you. In every child there is a message you need to hear. All those teenagers and users at the dispensaries are well aware of them. And the military has known for decades, the government is behind the push and legalization in "First Colorado" and then California; all part of their attempt to weed out the weak-minded, for they quickly get labeled schizophrenic. Pun completely intended. 

I’m told the zombies are a visual of those that can no longer be contained in "hell." The more lives they take over to their side, the more power they have as a whole, and without power they have nothing, no hell to go back to and no earth to take over. I also am told that those that have a spiritual connection with their maker, be it God, Jesus, Buddha or the Sea Goddess Tara, are safe. You can be safe from an eternity on earth.

I asked about my children and they won’t respond. Spirits don’t answer questions, they give you questions to ask, and then provide the answers. It’s really a one-way communication. My great-grandparents were born in Budapest and came here over 100 years ago. I remember my great-grandmother use to sit in the basement for hours with a hard drink and have long conversations with the local priest. She didn't fit the guidelines of his beliefs, but she told him things he needed to know, things he couldn't get anywhere else. My grandparents built a house on their large piece of land here in California. The first one burned to the ground, so my grandmother built a brick house, and a bomb shelter. She told me when I was young this day would come. She said the dead would rise from behind the "curtain" and walk in plain sight among the living. They would talk and walk like humans, and then a day would come when their true nature would reveal itself. Her daughter, my grandmother, promised I had no reason to worry, that our "DNA" was a carefully designed code; that we come here with a purpose to fulfill. We come from a royal line on the other side. Royalty from where we come is not of earthly material riches, but royalty of peace, joy, love and happiness. We come from a smooth place with no loss, sadness or tears, a place which pulses with creativity and the many lights of our maker/s. Not everyone comes from where we were developed, but I'm promised, everyone can go back with us.

Science is great, but it doesn’t disprove God, and God doesn’t disprove science. God is a word in our language, but it does not come close to the truth of our maker/s. And so criticism is an easy out for many that need certainty; but the real issue is that science cannot explain what is not scientific. Just as science cannot explain the emotion one feels when they gaze at a painting, or hear a melody that takes them to another time and place. Science cannot and will not ever explain art, in the same way science cannot and will not ever explain existence.

We can only do our best with the information we are given, and each of us has our own set of data transmitted--received and sent. And so if you're reading this, if you've made it this far, it might mean you were meant to hear these words; maybe your maker, maybe the same as my God, brought you to this page, to these words. Take heed reader, I am told to write this for you; if you can feel it, if you can sense it, if you can't escape the nagging, then it’s time for you. But you'll have to give up your ego and self-righteousness, your pride and fear of being wrong. You'll have to set aside the conforming you've done to fit in this world and let your maker transform you, into you. Let your human programming be removed from your soul, let your reality be what you feel and what you are, not who and what you're told to be. 

If you ever want to leave this planet, now’s the time to completely give up your desire to fit in, and your need to be right. You will not know a spiritual connection if you are seeking fact and knowledge, or if you are mad at the idea of a God. But if you are seeking something which you do not know its core, if you are being pulled and you can't say what's connected to its end, your maker is seeking your attention. If you are seeking and you cannot find what draws you, if you fill your unknown desires with drink, or sex, or drugs, television or food, if you seek a purpose which has no name and only ends in disappointments, you are being called to; your maker is perfectly magnetized to only you. Just turn around dear. 

It’s simple to start, when you have fear, doubt or any emotion which takes over your thoughts, repeat this simple prayer: Just in case you’re out there "God," please show me the way, reveal your presence to me once again, for I ignored you before, but I will not ignore you now. I doubt, but that is because I do not remember your love for me. For someone special is known to have said: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but the sinners.” It is not what our children do or don’t do that make us love them; we love them no matter what. And when they are weak we love them harder, we show them more of our love, so that they know and see their own worth.

Sometimes you have to allude to things in order to communicate its true meaning. The condition of intellect is a disease in the realm of spirits, spirituality, the universe and the God/s. Life is quite difficult when you think you understand it. 

Your connection will first come in emotions, which cannot be explained with man-made words, nor taught with insightful curriculum. Words just get in the way of emotions; but ask for it, pay attention to your environment, the words of others, and most importantly: your thoughts, and you will be found. Your thoughts which have no words hold the deepest of truths. Be warned reader: once you connect to your maker/s, you cannot disconnect. Once you ask for its love, it will show it until you fully receive it. 

You were meant for far more than you have, and far more than what you are, today; you were never made or meant to be an earthling for all of eternity. But Only You can know for certain.

It's not how long you believed, but that you believed at all.  --Wizard of Words

These past 24 hours have been an eternity for me. I've had no human contact and its starting to affect me. I know I'm normally an introvert and I avoid people, and frankly speaking, 24 hours without human contact isn't even that bad compared to what I'm used to. But I like watching people around me, I like to see an exciting and lively world, even if I'm not directly influencing it, but that has ended. Now theres only emptiness and ruin. I think the idea that this solitude might last until I die, is really getting to me. The endless brooding really is no good, so I'm glad i got the idea to talk to you Diary. And your words of encouragement really help (even though I used to think inspirational quotes in diaries were cheesy).

Hey Diary, me again. I hope you didn't take that last sentence I wrote previously to heart. Anyway, I wanted to share my excitement. Can you believe it? Were in a 5 star hotel, and we can actually spend the night here. Plus I got the snacks i took from the convenience store where I met you. And I even have Bounty, my favorite. Maybe this whole apocalypse thing, wont be so bad. What do you think? Are you enjoying it?

Diary, are you awake? I can't sleep. The truth is I'm scared the barricad at the door isn't enough. Plus there was a lot of rustling outside the window a while ago. It kinda reminds me of that time I played a horror game with my brother. I bet he would know what to do in a situation like this. Hey Diary, keep me company untill I fall asleep, ok?

Diary, it's time to move out again. Seems like the water and electricity supply was cut. Guess you can't really expect them to continue working normally during an apocalypse. I guess at least it will be a good time for some more scouting and resupplying on food. Also i had this great idea: if electricity is down, it means that house security is down too, right? So i can easily walk into some nice penthouses in the city. Thats my plan for now. Stick close and we'll be fine.

Diary,... Diary, re you ok? You have some pages ripped. Damned those dogs. They were all fucking calm at the start. What agitated them so much. Well as long as we're still together, it's gonna be ok. Don't give up on me yet. I'm gonna go scout the house.

-----------------------------------

Oh, Diary, how I missed you. Who would have thought the house was full of those damn creatures. And on top of that the dogs were a nuisance. But what had me worried the most is that I lost you. But I remembered the place we first met, and here you are, healthy as ever and completely fine. Don't ever leave me again Diary.

If you're reading this it means that I have done my part in this story If you're reading this, it means that I have failed in stoping this war between the living and the dead. I created the virus that wiped out almost all of humanity and was not able to complete the antidote in time. I was not able to stop the end in time and have been affected myself and have become one of them and for this I am so sorry.

Now it is up to you to save the fate of humanity. There is a cure to saving the rest of the living and possible the dead. I wasn't able to finish it in time before the launch of the virus to the world. I beg of you, find my lab, find my research, finish the cure. Or we all will perish. My name is Dr. Maria Green. Its up to you to finish what I've started. A terrible task, I know, but one that will effect the entire world either way. I'm sorry, but you are humanity's only hope. 

They came out of nowhere. One minute everything was fine. The sun was shining and we were all lost in our screens. The next thing I know screams become nature's sound. Everyone has their theories but no one really cares because in the end it's still us against them. Knowing the reason that your family and friends are trying to take a bite out of you doesn't change the fact that you have to end them.

Right now, I am sitting on top of a water tower. It's getting dark. I'll climb down and find a safe place to sleep for the night soon. I can't be caught out in the open after dark. They have the advantage then. I can't see them but they can smell me and the Z's are everywhere. 

There's no reason to keep going, I have no one left. But I keep going. Why? Because I too stubborn to get eaten by a bloody slobbering zombie.

Off topic... I'm not writing this to let everyone know how bad it is. You know how bad it is. I'm writing this so that you know what to expect and where to expect it. Whether your're a newbie who has been hiding out in a bunker this entire time or a pro who has been chopping heads since day one, everyone deserves a heads up. 

• LA is nearly overrun with Z's.

• New York is a black market. They fight Z's their, among other things.

• Chicago is a warzone. A so called 'resistance' has taken up base there. They attract a lot of attention.

• Most country states are locked up tight. As soon as the screams started the guns cocked and the bullets flew. They don't allow outsiders. Most country states are locked up tight. As soon as the screams started the guns cocked and bullets flew. They don't allow outsiders.

All in all, I'd say avoid all of the places that I've listed.

To the newbie who could be reading this never hesitate and always aim for the head and to the everyone else... Good luck, you're gonna need it.

Sincerely,

A Fellow Survivor

Dear Diary,

Well, the day has come at last.  I really knew it would, you know.  After all, every science channel and website (including SpookyScienceFacts.com) has predicted it.  The zombie apocalypse has come!  

Mom is as scared as can be.  Fortunately enough, I have been preparing for this day my whole life.  The doomsday treehouse is prepped and ready for use.  It is hidden right behind the...Oh, I shouldn't tell you, dearest Diary.  You could get into the wrong hands!

The zombies are quite peculiar.  They keep knocking on our windows and doors and demanding that we give them blood and brains.  It's the first time that my family is actually asking me for my advice on zombies!  You know, I used to just tell them about zombies whether or not they asked for information, but now I really feel like my knowledge is being put to good use!

Every news channel is covering this day in history.  Apparently, just in our area, seven people have already been killed.  One of them was Mrs. Flanderson, that awful P.E. teacher of mine.  Guess I won't be running the mile for awhile!  

Well Diary, now I have to go.  Dad is freaking out because one of the zombies is chasing our cat down the street.

Bye for now!

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my fucking god. I'm hiding. I've got a kitchen knife clenched in one hand, pen in the other, and I'm hiding.

I can hear the screams of others in the distance, the sound of tearing flesh, the shuffling bodies in the undergrowth just outside of the door. I don't understand what's happening. How everything has changed so quickly. 

Blood pouring from his mouth.

Flesh being ripped from her throat.

Tears flowing.

Anguished words renting the air.

Rain is lashing down outside, lightning and thunder keep making me jump every time it happens. My hands are shaking so much I'm not sure I'm going to be able to ever even read this back. If I'm even still alive to read this back.

My mum is dead.

My dad killed her.

I had to kill him.

Tears are falling down my face and splashing on the page, that's going to make it even harder to read than just the shaking hands. I can already see the ink spreading.

I keep thinking I'm going to have a panic attack, I'm amazed I haven't yet. Every time I start, something makes me jump again, forcing me to stay in the now, which is probably going to cause me to have a heart attack, I forgot to bring my anxiety meds wih me, so a heart attack would probably be a blessing. 

Although, we might actually be in the end of the world. After all those shows I've watched, the books I've read, the films I've been to see, with zombies, I just never actually thought it would happen.

If that is what has happened, fuck knows, maybe it's just some.... I dunno... Some sort of fucked up rabies for humans?

I'm laughing to myself now, human rabies, yeah ok, and I've grown wings and turned into a fucking fairy.

After I'd killed my dad....

I...

I stabbed him in the back of the head. I remembered that much from the shows. I went on auto pilot then. When we had the floods last year, we were advised to make sure we had a bag packed and ready to go at all times, the essentials packed and ready. A disaster bag they call it. 

Hearing the screams outside I ignored them. I went and grabbed the bag. 

All three of the bags actually.

Then I started throwing in all the extra food I could. 

Someone started banging on the door.

Screaming at me to let them in. Screaming for anyone to help them. Begging and pleading.

Then the screams changed.

High pitched and primal.  

Ignoring it all I carried on packing. Grabbing my jacket from the floor where I'd thrown it the night before, I slung it over my shoulder and start piling myself with the bags. Trying to make them comfy, already sagging under the weight of the three of them. Moving to the front door, I went to unlock it, before realising I didn't have anything to protect myself with, I went back, grabbed the big kitchen knife, and then went back to the door.

I opened it slowly, one inch at a time to make sure there was nothing there. 

A sob caught in the back of my throat.

Mrs Fry was on the porch, her throat and stomach torn apart. A bloodied mess bundled in her arms, a bit of the pink blanket was still showing through. 

Trying to keep the vomit down, I swallowed repeatedly, the acidic taste burning my throat, bringing water to my eyes. 

Closing the door behind me, I locked it up tight, hoping I would be back there one day. Looking around the roads were awash with blood, but I couldn't see anything else moving around me. There were a few curtains twitching, but no one offered a hand. No one opened the doors. No one even waved.

Looking for where my dad had parked the car, I walked towards it, hoping I could remember the way to the cabin. 

That's when I heard the cry from behind me.

I turned and noticed the bloodied bundle starting to move. 

Her baby was still alive.

I went to the car and put the bags in, climbed into the driver's side and closed all the doors.

I even put the key in the ignition and started the car.

Then I jumped out, ran and grabbed the baby, bundled the blanket from the back of the car in the footwell of the passenger side, and placed the baby there.

Then I got back in the car, and drove here.

I wished I could have kept my eyes closed on the journey. I'm not ready to talk about where I saw yet. 

The sites were.

They.......

I just vomited. 

The baby has started grizzling. What the fuck am I supposed to do with her? I should have left her.

Oh fuck.

Someone's banging on the door.

Shit.

I think it's kind of funny that Friday the 13th was yesterday, you know, considering that the world is ending today instead.  I guess we're often a bit slow on the uptake.

I'm really only writing out of habit at this point, since I expect no one will be able to read soon.  Or even have a brain to read with.  Still, it's kind of therapeutic.

I cancelled my date with Brian over text, which would be a pretty sucky move if I wasn't too scared to go outside to find him in person.  He didn't respond, which means he is either offended or already dead.  Either way, I think we can safely say I am single.

So, this is an apocalypse, huh?  It's actually really boring right now, since I'm shut up inside my house with my family and the mailman that ran in here for cover and won't leave.  He's in the guest room.  He's kind of shy, but a decent guy, and he has a bunch of tape and rubber bands, which I guess may be useful at some point.  The zombies that came down the street this morning (thus the mailman coming inside) are gone, but our neighborhood has too many trees and alleys to be sure they aren't still out there.

Most of my friends are okay, but are holed up inside, too.  Katelyn was at the movie theater when they announced the lockdown, so she told me she's living on popcorn and nachos until a rescue party comes or the zombies find them.  In the meantime, she's memorized the Trolls movie.  I don't blame her for going with the kids movie; there are too many jump scares in real life now.

Well, I'd better make sure my windows are securely boarded before bed.  Maybe I'll write again tomorrow; who knows?