-In sixth grade I cried because I started to develop underarm hair. I shaved it, not knowing you needed shaving cream, and it burned for a week. I haven't loved myself since.

-In seventh grade I told myself I was skipping school so I wouldn't have to change in front of the other boys. I didn't, and ended up changing in the bathroom stall for half the year. Kids made fun of me, so I stopped and changed in front of my locker. Every time, I stared st the wall and hated myself a little bit more, lost a little more dignity every time. I haven't loved myself since.

-In eighth grade I took a trip to Washington D.C. to learn more about our country. Naturally, I had to stay with another boy in the hotel rooms, because a boy and a girl cannot be trusted together. The first night I stifled sobs under the bed covers because, however little bit of intimacy it was sharing a room, I was not comfortable with it. I haven't loved myself since.

-my freshman year was a repeat of my eighth. My band took a trip to Dallas, Texas for a biannual competition. I had to stay with three other boys in a two-bed hotel room. I cried because I couldn't even confide in my female friends in private, because I wasn't even allowed to enter their rooms. I haven't loved myself since.

-my sophomore year I told my mom I was transgender- a quivering fact I'd known about myself for a while. She'd always said she'd support me no matter what, so I was taken aback when she said I was on my own because she didn't want to have anything to do with it. We never talked about that night again. I haven't loved myself since.

-this year, now a junior, I wore the guard makeup for my color guard performances, and a lot of people complimented me on how good I was at cosmetics. I know it was a little heavy and i mainly looked like a drag queen- not the girl I wanted to be- but I felt beautiful and was ecstatic.

-this year, now a junior, I know that me being transgender is not a phase. It is a fact about me- like that I have brown hair or love Taylor Swift- and it will never change. I am not open or presenting, and I'm not sure I ever will be, but i do know i will do everything in my power to help other minorities and people like me.

-today, I am a closeted trans teen. I have had to grow up a little quicker than the other kids, but it has only made me more mature and more versatile than the other kids. When we're pushed down, I am the first to stand up. When we are abused, I am the first to fight back. And when we are oppressed, I am the first one to riot.

-today, I am trans. And I will not let you walk on my rights as a human being.

Her mascara all smudged

Her nails broken

Bruises all over her fragile being

But still her eyes shone brightly,

A smile graced her lips

And as she lay there she knew,

She knew that she had escaped.

he pretends

his cigarette

is a message,

carried by

angel ravens

into the clouds,

dropped into

the fingerprint

of God.

he says more prayers

these days

than he has

for a while.

when he runs out

of hope to inhale,

he'll sift the ashes

and light the char

until heaven

sends rain to extinguish

his need.

Hear me, folks of love and loss,

of heartbreak and of pain,

as I watch you from my window,

when you're dancing in the rain.

I have tiptoed in your footsteps

through midnight and through snow.

I whispered in your shadows, hoped

you'd hear but never know.

Yet, I never bridged the river

of my sorry flood of tears,

and wrote poetry in silence

of your silhouette for years.

Hear me, dancing angel,

in your yellow rainboots bright,

while I melt into the grayscale

of this ectoplasmic night.

how much my eyes could see

their dirty lies

unmistakable thoughts

wrong doings

Unfair treatments

Undeniable madness

over useless and nonsensical things

And how they take advantage of

and look down on my

weaknesses and kindness

towards them

They'd be afraid

Because it's what they try

so hard to hide

But they can't

because it's written

all over their face

They'd be afraid

because they'd know

that I could leave them

anytime.

You don't trust me, I get it.

I'm here and you're there,

I mean, who wouldn't overthink?

Even I think about what you're doing,

Where you are or who are you with

But I trust you, despite all the doubts

It's just that sometimes,

It hurts when you think i'm with someone else, or always texting other guys

I just wish you would just trust me

Believe and have faith in me

Even if we're miles apart

And guys are hovering

I still love you so much

And no one would compare to you

I'd never hurt you or

Do anything that I know would

Break our relationship

I wish you'd know that.

And please, never forget that

I'm yours.

Forever and always.