my portmanteau/s
baditude/battitude - a cross stance
- a mean-spirited, self-righteous stance
- an irascible stance (bad attitude)
sneakret - a sneaky secret such as a surprise party or a gift (sneaky secret)
blitherot - an extremely stupid, foolish, and/or nonsensical person (blithering idiot)
flavorite - one’s fave (favourite flavour)
If I may advance one word to the presses only, I'll go with my first and spell it 'battitude'. I wrote it, battitude, into a non-fiction poem, 'explicit and indefinite facets of life', in the middle of the night a couple of weeks ago. (Then I published the poem in my poetical ebook by the same name, explicit and indefinite facets of life on Barnes & Noble.) :)
Justice
“Are you relaxed?” I ask.
Jeffrey Epstein looks up at me. His eyes are hungry.
I’m going to let them starve.
“Hell yeah,” he says. He spreads his legs and loosens his tie. I feel a pang of panic. What if it doesn’t work? What will he do?
“I’m ready for you, sweet cheeks,” he says, and I put on my fakest smile. I reach into the pocket of my dress, searching for the one object that will save me from him.
I find it, and it rolls into my fingers on its own.
“Close your eyes,” I say. He does.
“Now imagine me naked,” I say. He shudders with pleasure. “Easier done than said,” he says. I want to slap him, hurt him, but I need him to be relaxed. Otherwise, the hypnotism won’t work.
“Can you see me?” I ask. Epstein nods his head, his eyes still closed. “Ohh yeah.”
“Three. Two.”
“What?”
“One.” I snap my fingers. Epstein’s face becomes as blank as paper. He has an erection; I shudder, disgusted.
“You will stop. And think,” I say. I hold up the object from my pocket: a little ball of amethyst crystals. With most hypnotisms, you cannot make a person do anything they don’t want to do. With these enchanted crystals, however, I can make them do anything I want.
“You will think about all of the girls you violated. Every. Single. One.”
For a second, Epstein has that hungry look again. But that’s about to change.
I squeeze the ball of amethyst, and I see his expression darken. He flails in his seat, but he doesn’t leave it. I won’t let him leave it. He’s caught like a fly.
“Do you see them?” I growl. “Do you see what you’ve done to them?”
“M-make it stop,” says Epstein. “I don’t want to be—no, stop—”
“Do you understand what you did?”
“Please, make it stop!” he cries. He flails again, jolting left and right from a phantom abuser.
I drop the ball back into my pocket. Epstein slumps as if nothing had happened.
I say one more thing before I loosen my hold on him.
“Die,” I say, tracing the shape of a noose on his arm with my fingernail. He nods, as if in agreement.
The private jet comes to a stop.
I let go of my grip on him. He snaps out of it, his legs again splayed, and he looks at me like a cheetah would look at a helpless gazelle.
“So are we doing this or not?” he says impatiently. I smile that phony smile again. “We’ve landed,” I say. Epstein peeks out of the window, then sighs in disappointment. “Maybe we’ll do this later, then,” he purrs.
But I know about the police outside. I know where he’s going next. And I know that Epstein’s going to hell, regardless of who he pays off.
The Last Time
The jet was at 15k feet, soring into a tropical paradise.
“I’ll have a Jack with lemon,” Epstein said as he brushed his crotch.
“I’ll have the same,” I said. “Thank you for this opportunity. Your covertnesss is untuchable, Mr Epstein, and much appreciated.”
That was Epstein’s biggest lie. He would tell if he needed to.
Jeffrey took a big sip. “Your flavor? I mean after we land.”
The plane decended. We could see large fish a mile from the island in the clear waters.
I could not answer that question so I said, “Metal. Cuffs. Humiliation.”
He said, “No problem.”
“Can I really ‘hurt’ them?”
“You paid the price, sure.”
Epstein exited the jet for the last time.
Just for a laugh.
Whoops your shoelace is undone.
Hey hey hey it wasn't me was it? Say again? You shoelace isn't really undone? Well that is curious...
You have something on your shirt. Yep right there in the middle. Go one just look down you will be able to see it. What do you mean "I am not an idiot"? I can literally see it, look it is right there! Do I promise to not flick your face when you look down? Of course...
Hey hey hey it wasn't me was it? Say again? How could you have seen it was me? You were looking down at your shirt. Ok it was me, or maybe it wasn't - you were looking down so you will never know.
It says "gullible" on the ceiling. Why does it say "gullible" on the ceiling? How on earth am I supposed to know? I can however tell you for a fact that it says "gullible" on the ceiling. I know you are not gullible. Yes I know you don't fall easily for things. Yes I know you want me to stop with these "games", however they are not games... it really does say "gullible" on the ceiling!
See... I told you it said "gullible" on the ceiling. Your trust in my is restored? Excellent I was just about to... hold on a second, why did you ever doubt me?
I what? Play to much? I am not sure what you mean? I have an insatiable desire to annoy you? Well I can't see I have heard that before. I am meeting your eyeline. What do you mean? No I am looking you straight in the eye, I am not staring at your forehead. Hey hey hey no need to get up all in my face like that!
You have something in your teeth.
Impossible
Trying to love someone you don't is like trying to light a match in the rain.
Trying to climb a 100-foot tree is like trying to light a match in the rain.
Trying to go the speed of light is like trying to light a match in the rain.
Trying to break into the pentagon is like trying to light a match in the rain.
It is not impossible, but improbable.
Regret or just getting started 2
I looked back at the school, I didn't know what to do.
Was my girlfriend going to die?
Was she going to survive?
What would she think if she did survive?
It was like the voices in my head. There were three.
"Enjoy the fire watch them die." Said the devil voice in my head.
"Go back for them. Your girlfriend." Said the angel's voice.
"RUNNNNN!!!!!" Screamed the coward voice that was always in my head.
"This is all my fault!" I thought over and over and over.
"If I hadn't dropped that match..." I thought.
"But you meant to drop the match remember?" Said the devil's voice.
"You did, you took the devil's advice and you dropped the match. So now take mine." The angel whispered.
"What do you want me to do." I finally agreed.
"Go back into the building and help people out."
"Fine." I ran back into the burning building. The fire wasn't very big, but the smoke was the problem. I couldn't see anything. The good thing was there were only three people in the school. Kyle, James, and Lucy.
After I got Kyle and James out, I couldn't find Lucy.
When I finally found Lucy, it was too late. She died in my arms. Her last words were, "I forgive you."
Regret or Just Getting Started
"Mom I need to get to school." The school didn't start for another two hours, which meant to hours with his girlfriend whom his mom didn't know about.
"School doesn't start for another two hours, sweetie. Is there something your hiding, because you have been leaving for school hours early? His mom was a pushover.
"You know mom there is something," Sam said to his mother.
"It's ok, just tell me." His mom asked putting her hand on his shoulder.
"You know you are a real big pain in my butt." Sam swung the door open and ran out. What he didn't know was that his mother cared for him. But after his dad died in a fire that she had caused when lighting a candle. He never forgave her.
"Hey, I am here sorry my mom kept me in late with her, 'Sweetie, can you please just forgive me for killing your father?" He laughed and took her hand.
"About your mom, shouldn't you forgive her? I mean It was an accident." Lucy looked at Sam with pleading eyes.
Sam pushed Lucy up against the wall in an ally way, "No, I'd rather just kiss you."
"Samy, come on you can't keep being mad at your mom forever." Sams's hands started to slip onto her waist.
"Yeah your right, but just until we break up." Sam looked at her and raised his eyebrows.
"You think we will break up?" Lucy took his hands in hers.
"No, I think that I will never forgive my mom." Sam laughed. He put his hands back on her bare waist.
"Oh gosh." Lucy looked at him.
"Oh gosh, what? Is it because I am about to kiss you." Sam leaned in for a kiss and got one.
One hour later
"Come on Sam, we'll be late for school again." Lucy tried to push past Sam, but wouldn't let her.
"Come on goodie-two-shoe, just a little longer." He pleaded.
"No, let's go," She pushed him out of the way, picked up her back and started on the way.
All Sam ever wanted was for people to just listen to him.
At School
"Hey, how's your dad?" Josh teased.
"It's not funny!" Lucy said sternly.
"Looks like you have two moms, both idiots." Kyle walked by.
Thruout his whole life, people had teased him, he wanted them to feel pain for once.
The next day
The next day, Sam knew what he wanted to do. Like the day before he went to school early to spend some time with his girlfriend. He then walked to school with her. When he got to school people kept teasing him. And teasing him, and teasing him. After school, he took out a match. sometimes he liked to watch the flame, like most people the flame didn't scare him. It soothed him.
"Hey stupid." Jake shoved Sam out of the way. As he got bumped, the match fell to the ground. Setting it to flames! Sam ran he didn't look back.
When he got to the road he looked back. The destruction was horrifying. He reminded himself that all he wanted was for them to get hurt.
Was it too late to go back and help? Will he go back to help?
To be continued...
