I Was Given A Day To Write What I Pleased
I had this shining
vision of The Great American
Novel, but then I became jittery,
giddy, and perhaps a bit spastic,
so many places to go and only
a day's space to do it
If she doesn't
is prone to do
in a single
me crazy, a time limit
freezes me up, I have
of character defamation
I think I am
spoiling this journey
before it has even begun
when the truth
must be revealed
I am too much
to ever be
I dare to write
will have her
all over .
Love and complete nonsense,
Phynne's Ridiculously Guileless Pen
lungs and sleep
every night i creep in beside you
and touch the nearest skin so i can count your breaths
the airs you breathe are the sweetest sheep
and when i dream i worry when i am not there to calculate them they will cease
like how words fall away from your ears
when you're not listening close enough
i fell into the world like an accidental spill
clean up on aisle 5
oil spewing into the ocean
i am death and decay in motion,
a wildfire taking down every last breathing tree
in my careless path
I've never been able to roll my R's;
My tongue doesn't always work well.
I've never been one to twiddle my thumbs;
I'm too antsy to ever sit still.
I've never ridden in a hot air balloon.
I've never had a tattoo on my face.
I've never been able to read a map.
I've never won first prize in a race.
I've never been convicted of a crime.
I've never made a perfect pie crust.
I've never had trouble landing a man;
I've never found a man worthy of trust.
I've never loved a man who didn't hurt;
With hateful words or heavy hands.
I never learned to put myself first.
I never learned to voice my demands.
I never thought I was good enough;
I have never had high self esteem.
I've never been proud the girl in the mirror.
I never fully believed in my dreams.
I never got married for the right reasons.
I've never quite figured out motherhood.
I've never dealt with the anger inside;
I've never felt more misunderstood.
I've never encountered a drug I don't like.
I've never thought I'd have these regrets.
I've never had willpower needed to change.
I've never believed in forgive and forget.
She lit the bridge,
then put the match out
on her tongue,
for each word she spoke
had betrayed her safety
the least of these
where forlorn hearts faint
Dandelions bright and braVe
avail nature's joyride gay
am i am
these symbols just flow out of my inkwell soul
hieroglyphic tears streaming from a forgotten, ancient face
the pen feels so natural in my hand
like its been holding it for
this isn’t over
sometimes i get so angry that you are
i want to shake you shake you shake you until you are gasping my name because
i know if you knew how to love
you would love me
but i refuse to get out while i still can
i hold onto the briefest moments where we are inside of each other
and you can almost see the light
the eternal optimist
the strongest of us will find hope in the face of uncertainty
as for the rest, well
they can lay beneath the rubble of the cities they've burnt
and left behind
even if the mind sometimes leaps and bounds
to treacherous conclusions
there is more to love than hate
there is always more, and more, and more
Tonight, It’s Her Turn
I'm becoming better at reading
Between the empty lines of your texts
It's getting easier to see
Your cares for me lie only in the sex
And then on somedays even the sex
For you, isn't of any concern
On those depressing days I can see
Only me burns with a needful yearn
Choking on the fiery ashes since somehow I
Tonight, it's her turn
I have no right to be jealous, sad, or angry
'Cause you aren't mine to own
Besides, I have someone who's suppose to be mine
Yet he's not mine alone
I don't need to fight with a lesser woman
For your attention to earn
Done enough of that competing shit all my life
Think by now I would learn
But I'm foolish and I'll still try one more text,
Tonight it's her turn
Like a childish dream I hold onto hope
For tomorrow to be my day
When I know there's not even the smallest chance
It'll ever go my way
Because when tomorrow finally does come
It's against her skin you'll return
While I lie awake left with heat from desire
That's hot enough to burn
Just another lonely night stuck without you,
Tonight it's her turn