Trying to release the pain

Trying to release the anger

Trying to build the trust

Trying to tear down the walls

My soul has carried my burdens and yours

Afraid of what happens today

Still living with fear

Are you ok

Am I ok

Living has become burdensome

You deny my life peace

Thoughts shudder and eludes my sleep

I want to disappear into my dreams

It is there I am free, young and in love

Surrender and pray

A single tear collects in the pocket of one eye

It’s all I have left

Today I am ok

I’m learning to live one day at a time

2am musings of a post menopausal insomniac mind

6 May 2020

**//**

Like butterscotch-

roofed over cascatta paste,

I savour the flavor of the swift dawn

with my naked sleepy eyes,

witnessing a scenery painted

in an amber summoned taste.

Drifting slowly from the golden shimmer,

theft by the entrails of the peach stolen mist;

the clouds gliding like the foam over sea,

Visible for f e w s e c o n d s,

But the next moment melanised in a flee.

Under midline spectrum

of the noon’s bask,

peek the hanging glittery lamps

atop the gravity stricken cliffs

shadowing the marshes breathing

in the chemistry of its flask.

As the day moulds,

lifting from scented lavenders

towards the aroma of full moon’s tide.

Wishing the farewell -

to the tamed carpets

and greeting our canopies

while a lazy grin slides.

A drizzle of hopeful light

cascading afar the long forgotten oceanic dye.

Magical to live when living is dignified

In submission to the Lord;

For heaven awaits, a sanctuary unknown

but the heaven of my everlasting abode.

**//**

Hello! If you don’t know me already, my name is Kevin Jackson. I used to be very very active on here but becuase of school-- and admittedly my own laziness--I haven’t been as active as i should be. I’m gonn try to change that. So here is a little update on myself

I’M OFFICALLY PUBLISHED. My short story has been published by the Bookends Review as of friday April 24th. Here’s the link if you want to check it out! I’d much appreciate the time and any feedback :)

http://thebookendsreview.com/2020/04/24/within-the-confines-of-madness/

I was supposed to film my first short film during my last semester at RCC. Due to the virus, however, that has been officially cancelled until further notice. It sucks :(

That’s pretty much it lol. My life is boring. Anyways, i genuinely hope everyone is safe and healthy during these times. Sending love your way!

When your school has two Spanish courses, for kids that are fluent and non-fluent, and somehow you ended up in the fluent class with people that speak Spanish at home with their parents, even though you don't, and your teacher decides that instead of just giving you activities to complete, you're going to have a live Spanish class that involves talking and saying more intelligent things than "the book character is stupid because he fell out the window and broke his arm instead of admitting to his mom that he snuck into her room."

That's me right now.

When you have to do a Zoom meeting with your entire class and your teacher decides to put you in breakout rooms but never tells you if you're allowed to leave once class ends so you just sit there awkwardly watching the minutes tick by while playing a random video game because you don't know what else to do with yourself.

That's me right now.

Making a difference is difficult.

You think you've gotten it,

the milky door.

The limit goes farther,

further more.

I suffer the discipline,

sub-mini gods.

Plotting the winnings

from a glowing bulb.

They choose unwisely,

it makes me burn.

The gates of my boundaries

is ruined with rocks.

When time arrives,

deceptive boss.

Sends the news

with smiles that hurts.

I breakdown,

much more than thought.

Crying dry seasons,

not rain, but dust.

No disaster can hold me,

I'm oversized for these locks.

Do better than sorry,

I see deeper than those keys.

The odds corodes me,

my words are not glowing.

No matter the number

I pick and water.

The game is rigged,

I'm loosing more than I keep.

What must I do

to change my luck?

My limit is under,

diminishing to null.

I know I'm a winner.

No boundaries!

No shackles!

Can hold me much longer.

The reality of this finger

meddling with my servers.

No network!

No connection!

Must wither to extinction.

The capacity of my dreams

is larger than all dreams.

Tortured less to sleep,

my limitless boundaries takes the wheel

I feel I must stop.

Seeds sown, no crops

realise that I'm lost

no map

Penury vibe goes hot

exceeding the sun

I'm loosing my mind

all for what?

I know they exist

Somewhere in my thoughts

I must search and move on

This boundaries are wrong

My limits might not be understood

my english is bad, more red than blue

I refuse to confine

my defenseless work of art

to please anyone

but I.

Strings placed so tight

Right on the puppet’s

Arms~ the shoulders,

Wrists ready to be pulled

Entire body dragged in one

direction that only pleases

the one who’s in charge

The puppets do not get

To have any say-- oh no-

Every puppet must know

That the Master is in control

None should forget that—

Leave (all) the decision making

To the Puppet Master!

#ThePuppetMaster

March/friday\6.3.2020