She loved you:

L-o-v-e-d,

past tense.

You love her:

present tense.

she left.

you're trying to pick up the pieces

but there are no pieces;

she took your whole heart with her,

and now there's nothing to you, left.

I watch my pale, winter hands

painting butterfly pleas against an insouciant sky.

I pray and wait in solitude, in great numbers,

will you greet me when the sun returns?

We painted butterfly pleas against a pale sky

that solemn afternoon we lay curled upon each other in denial.

"Will you greet me when the sun returns?"

"I promise, upon all I hold dear, I will be here."

That solemn afternoon, we lay. Curled upon each other in denial.

You promised me Summer Eternal, your deceit jangled in my head:

"I promise, upon all I hold dear, I will be here."

You returned, with Springtime on your adoring arm, her beauty fruitful.

You promised me Summer Eternal. How your deceit now jangles in my head!

I shall wither with no mourners to gnash their teeth or tear out their hair.

You returned with Springtime on your adoring arm. Oh! How her beauty was fruitful!

Death brings a lover's touch, and I smile, grateful, as I watch my pale winter hands.

A small sip,

It'll do no harm...

Celebrate with a round of drinks,

It'll relax you...

My parents become strangers,

But it's a harmless thing.

My dad becomes sweeter,

Kinder,

Surely that's good...

My mum becomes louder,

Distant,

Ignorant,

Surely she doesn't mean it...

When a sip becomes several,

A glass becomes two,

They aren't counting,

So why are you?

How can they change so much?

Surely that's not who they are?

The poison sets,

I lock myself away,

Ignore deafening shouts;

Stumbled steps and slured lies,

It'll be over soon...

The door closes,

They sleep for a day,

All is forgotten in the morning...

It's just alcohol,

A harmless sip,

Perfectly fine...

I was never one

Of the pack.

I was a lone

Wolf keeping track

With a herd

Of elephants

I was never very good

At joining the sycophants

Myopic banality

They never see past

The cult of personality

In their common repast

Healthy cynicism

Use some

Healthy criticism

Wherever I roam