A plan, plan a , plan z i always have to have one

and yet, now comes the day when literally I have none!

I love you, my heart longs for you and that's all I know

so I pack my things , and grab my dog. Ready, set, go!

i should be scared, ask the what ifs, this is a long trip!

but I don't argue,i just know it's something I can't skip

To be with you I'll risk it all without a second glance

your love is intoxicating im hopelessly in your trance.

Despite the heartache and all of the baggage in the past

I know I can trust you and I have no need to even ask

while my life began a tragedy it's clear as day to me

they had to happen first,so happy ever after will we be

I treasure your laugh...

Let me fill your ears with tales of mirth

I treasure your smile...

Let me fill your eyes with delight

I treasure your lips...

Let me taste them in a never-ending kiss

I treasure your ass...

I'll put him in my barn and take you home

It sunny, its hot, yes, I see that it rained

Like drops of small talk

That stick to me, vocal humidity

We compare calories

And size each other up

Putting each other in invisible boxes

smart, pretty, athletic, and lazy

Our common ground is kid-talk

The whine about whining

Or wine-ing to numb it away

An awkward pause stands between us

The stranger needling us to talk

To fill chasms of empty space

As we await rescue from our kids

The acquainted strangers I see everyday

Just a paper-doll mom

Cardboard thin because we don’t let anyone in

I blame me too

A closed-door face behind examination eyes

I lack the words so I let silence speak

I am an iceberg mom

Cold, sharp, and best avoided

Idle chat crashes against me

And drowns under my deeper thoughts.

i guess there's a kind of beauty to brokenness,

that i've never really noticed,

your crooked smile,

snapped in places,

but still ever present,

how you never forget,

but always forgive,

even if it kills you a little,

or a lot.

how the lines on your hands,

don't tell a future,

but rather,

dreams,

wishes,

and your eyes,

although dimmer than others,

reflect galaxies of a different kind,

ones of peace,

hope, a forgotten love.

and how sometimes,

you break,

but always manage to reshape yourself,

so the punches hurt less,

how through everything,

your heart still beats,

to the unheard melody of joy,

which you said was, 

only because of you

so it hurts when i see you,

but even though you've been broken,

i hope that together,

we could be,

something like a whole.

When people ask me what I want

I tell them I don't know

But it's one of the few lies

I've ever told

I want to live in a mysterious house

With a history of love

Where sunlight peeks through curtains

And the stars shine on the roof

I want a bubbling brook 

With playful frogs

That hop along

As I hop along

I want a true love

That holds me close

As we dance 

Beneath the moon

I want little feet

That skip beside me

That I can tuck into bed

Every night

I want a magical pencil

That dances across the paper

And makes my imagination

Come to life

I want to look up 

To the sky

And smile

With pure joy

I want to die

With peace in my mind

And love

In my heart

Sometimes I wish

That I wouldn't care

I could toss aside the burdens

That I can't bear

Not worry about 

The troubles around

Be free to run

Not be bound down

But my heart won't let me

Be worry free

And every where I look

I only see

Walls surrounding me

On every side

And I'm the only one

Stuck in the inside

And the people I love

I know they love me

But they keep putting pressure

And I can't be who I want to be

I hope for the best

And I don't know why

But when my loved ones push me

I only cry

And sometimes I wish

I could fall asleep

And be carried away

From a world so deep

But I still care

So I'll keep up the fight

And my heart will keep breaking

Until I find the light

When I write, I write what my mind sees

vignette's of lovers, pained and pleasured and the 

the life and death of a serial killer

But now my mind is cluttered

too many stories, too many windows 

words in my head that call me to write

That when I type my pages,

they get lost by what they see

seeing into the windows, worlds and words 

The lives of the people I imagine

the conversations, the coffee houses

the backs of vans with their latest prey

I stutter in my writing because the 

conversations come too fast and my mind

can't keep up with what I see

When I write, I write what my mind sees

like a movie camera, capturing the scene

that did not happen in reality, only in the fantasy

of my minds eye