My thoughts of you are cumbersome and relentless. How can the distance between us not be a factor. I don’t want to think of you. I don’t want to be an independent who longs for someone they didn’t want in their entirety. Who is she? The one who consumes your cerebrum, whose eyes keeps you up at night, whose smile keeps your pupils flickering in such lust that seems to never diminish. Were you for me and I for you or was it nothing but the burning anguish of self loathing that drew the thin fine line between us? The piece that lies within I can’t digest and for that i can’t wish that the sunshine hits your soul & illuminates you.

My dear home went under attack.

Deadliest mass shooting in American history.

Bullets unloading like it was a war zone.

Friends and peers running for their lives and others sitting like ducks knowing their demise.

Lurking in the air, all you felt was fear.

You went that night, and I stayed clear.

The terrorist attack was meant to hurt this city

And words can’t even describe how I feel that you are home safe with me.

Condolences to all the families affected, and the innocent lives lost; you truly will be missed.

The terrorist wants his name to go down in history so let us remember the fallen and not who has done such a heinous act.

I love my little big city. #PrayForVegas

It was the way he looked at her.

Like he knew she was the answer to all his problems, the missing puzzle piece, the one who could decipher the key.

It was the way he pressed his lips against her heavenly features.

Ever so gently, one on the tip of her button nose, and one on her forehead as he caressed the nape of her neck with one hand and her cheek in his other. Skin to skin contact made his soul jump.

It was the way he cackled when she was around.

The adolescent boy in him came out to play whenever she told her charismatic jokes. The carefree and relaxed side of him would seep through his introvert shell.

It was the way she made him feel tranquil.

World War III may have been in the works at his parents, and he may have been "in between jobs", and he even may be neglecting his school work so much that it effected his future. He may not have a plan on what to do with his life, but when he was with her all of it seemed acute. All he saw was her in this beautiful universe. Not even the biggest most prettiest star could compare.

It was the way he loved her.

The fiery pit in his stomach only grew stronger everyday. Hearing himself speak those words to her made him want to collapse.

"3 words.. 8 letters.. say it and I'm yours."

But it was the way she said it's over that affected him the most.

Tell me what's worse, not being able to eat a solid meal because of the wrenching pain that's stuck like tar on your heart making it feel like you're suffocating or not being able to sleep because you can't find a section of your pillow that isn't damp from your tears and snot?

Tears streaming down my face

I watch as they hit my paper one by one like little bombs going off in a war. All my stress, my worries, my feelings are in all of those little destructive creations. And it feels really good to finally unleash. I don't hold back and eventually the page is flooded with copious amounts of salty water. It runs so deep you can't even read the words I sloppily scribbled onto the page anymore..

I kissed every lie that came out of your mouth. I entangled my limbs with all of your empty words that you spoke to my soul. My precious flower made love to your devilish snake knowing it was the wrong decision, but you reeled me in with all the right things. Words were my kryptonite and you knowingly used my sunlight to hurt me. Tell me how does it feel to rip someone's heart out and shatter it in front of them without a care in the world?

When I'm sitting in the room I have four walls to stare at, and a certain amount of square footage to pour my thoughts into- 1061 sq. ft. to be exact. The deeper my thoughts run the smaller the room gets, and it closes in on me. When I'm outside my thoughts don't bounce around four walls. It travels miles and miles away. They travel so far some leave my conscious mind altogether. Outside will always be my secret escape from myself and my thoughts that lurk me.

Life is like rough drafts.. very rough drafts. You think you have a master piece at hand only to realize there's a profuse amount of mistakes. Enough mistakes that what you wrote is naive and foolish. But that's why it's simply a draft. Revise. You can't necessarily revise what goes on in life, but you can shine a new perspective on it. See it from an outside source's point of view. Learn from the previous drafts so you improve your upcoming ones. I view life as a never ending story. A glorious book if you would; full of every genre imaginable. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Everything is included, everything has to be included. It's one of the absolute best things about a homo sapient. It's what makes them a person and not just an object who breathes our air and speaks our language. So personal, so invasive and intrusive. Vulnerable. Something that's not for everyone's eyes. You can only gain access to by the author.

To the bestfriend I had-

I loved you more than anyone on this earth. Together we were one and let me tell you what a rush-of-a-feeling that was. We came in two's, rarely alone. We were the meaning of friendship; you felt my heart ache, my joy, my depression and my love for life. We were infinite. To the bestfriend I had- I adored you and everything you did, I looked up to you. When my life was in pieces yours was together and it gave me hope I'd have what you had one day. I'd see life the way you did.

& now I feel desperate for your friendship, I'm yearning to be apart of your life again. I'm envious of the people who reach out to you because I'm not one of them. I miss you more than ever and will continue to do so. With a heavy heart and tears in my eyes I'm rooting for you from the sidelines now with a glimmer of hope that some day I'll be rooting for you right next to you again.

To the almost lover-

Heart pounding, butterflies fluttering, the taste of copper on my tastebuds, everything coming to a quiet hum with your presence, my skin jumping when you touched me. You were a whirlwind of emotions and I felt it all- WE felt it all. Fiery red burn of anger but also desire. The cold desolate blue of loneliness. The aura of bright yellow for the light we brought out of each other. The connection that was indestructible, or so we thought. To the almost lover that wanted everything but a bad time with me. Envisioning the house and kids was a favorite past time. But one of us saw it clearer than the other. We took a turn for the worst. We tried to push our problems up the hill but it was just too heavy to hold. Now's the time to let it slide. I want you to experience good and I know you will. And one day the hate for me will leave your heart and I will be nothing but Veronica. I've taken a few losses, but this one is one for the books. I long for the day I can look at you and not feel at a loss.

The thousand drops of rain that fell from the gloomy sky stretched across the valley. It fell in such a pattern that only someone who has experienced a true heartbreak would understand. Each tear had its meaning, it's own place in her heart. Finally letting go meant carrying on with a little less weight on the source of what keeps her alive. The storm grew monumental the further she reached down what she had buried for quite some time only to pull it from its roots and let it out for the people to hear. Alas, she took a deep breath and the water had subsided. Only a few drips here and there what could be compared to as sniffles. She was growing; learning to let go and to move on. The sky still tainted grey because even though she was understanding what it took to mature all her affairs still had an effect on her, but it did not falter the way she viewed earth. This was only one day.

The glowering sun kissed the child's skin as he rode his bicycle down the winding street. It gleamed off of his helmet and protective pads only for every bystander to stare and wave at him. Its rays smiled at you with the biggest toothiest grin you could imagine. It was light and so pure. You could feel the love gravitating off of it when it touched you. There wasn't a billow in sight in the statuesque sky. Nothing but clear cyan for miles. The grass greeted the sun by having just the uttermost warmth to it as you glided across the lawn. This was her happy place. This is what happiness felt like to her, warm and full of light and life. It radiated from her heart and brought an exceptional amount of joy to everyone.