The life I have lived

Is fifty shades of grey

It is darkness

And deception

And pain

I would never drink

From the fountain of youth

I would never purposefully

Lengthen my time

On the planet

That has brought me

So much pain

We are all monsters

Every one of us

Some hide their monster

Deep inside

And never let it see the light

But don’t be fooled

If you push the right buttons,

Everyone’s monster

Will come out to play

We can’t hide the evil

That occupies all our souls

Forever

And that’s why the world

Has become a dark place for me

Hold my hand,

Pull me closer,

Whisper my name,

Don't let me go.

Not true,

You aren't mine,

Letting me fall,

Just for show.

You can't be blamed,

It may be awkward,

I understand,

I know.

Love chooses who,

We do not,

We wish we could,

But we only follow.

I look to you with love,

You look back,

With vacant eyes,

Cold as snow.

You're my everything,

I'm your nothing,

I won't forget you,

You'll forget me tomorrow.

Slowly you fade from me,

You try to leave,

But you're stuck,

At least for now, so...

Please don't push me,

Out the window.

(I know you want to...)

My heart's been broken

Into a thousand pieces

And it’s been broken

More than a thousand times

People say I’ll never learn

But they don't understand...

I've recovered every fragment

And I pieced it back together again

But it doesn't help, it’s feels like it's in vein

The pain remains the same…

I’ve been left behind without a reason

Feel like I've no purpose, just fell to treason

I've gathered every shred of hope left

I've been thinking lately

It's time to retreat back inside

It's gotta be me and only me for a while now...

That's why I'll be on my own from now on

And until the day I meet the one

My heart will remain; sealed

Surrounded by defense mechanisms and under heavy guard

My heart will remain: unheard and locked

Hidden away from this twisted cruel world

My heart will remain; unloved and unseen

Until the right person comes along and

Breaks through these colossal walls

Until then my heart will remain

Hidden, deep within a maze

Like a sacred secret, carefully buried;

Unheard, unloved, and perfectly intact.

Until THE ONE, comes along,

One that fills me with wonder once more

And overwhelms with truth, life and love

Like a sudden adrenaline rush…

But until then my heart will remain

Hidden away, buried deep down,

Unheard, unseen, untouched...

(c) 2017 WorldwideRhodes

(c) 2017 Luis René Figueroa

Irma winks with hurricane eyes,

breathing fury crashing on sands.

Savagery of waves pounding,

nature destroying nature,

tangling Florida without reason -

a monster betraying our trust

tattooing tattered shores.

Unstable eyes of angry tempests

bleeding tears upon our beaches,

lightning punching in fury,

wavering sky threatening to swallow -

all in death refrain of a hangman,

forcing residents to forsake homes,

trembling limbs beset by carnage.

Gusts tossing screaming palms,

onyx gales strangling souls.

Life as we know it cast aside

as birds fly lifeless in raging sky,

trust betrayed by exploding thunder

leaving stairs leading nowhere.

Treacherous cobalt sky vents anger -

bloody aftermath of crimson rain.

Ambushed light laments and moans

as white witch leaves calling card

of tumbled loss and heartache.

Please stretch out your arms

to welcome me home

to my sacred place, unscathed

when storm’s wrath

and destruction is expended.

I beg to return once more

to my cherished cottage

by unspoiled seaside sand.

Color is a feeling as much as a visual phenomenon - even those without sight can experience aspects of its nature.

Blue is cold or merely cool, depending on much of the color there is. A dark shade can feel like ice cube raising goosebumps on your skin and sending you running for a sweater, while a lighter shade may make you a bit torpid, or melancholy, or even calm. Violet, an even shorter wavelength of light, blends in with the nighttime sky, absorbing the blackness of space until you can't distinguish one color from the other. Red burns like fire, setting your world ablaze, dominating and consuming everything it touches. It is the color of anger, a poker stabbing into your heart and turning your insides raw with its passage. It is also used to grab attention and indicate urgency. When the sun drops below the horizon for the night, it is the last color to remain, a piece of the day's heat, both literal and figurative, prickling the skin.

We respond to colors by emotion as much as by visual recognition. Colors paint our lives in formulations of who we are at the time.

"I can smell the music and taste the colors" she whispered. Intoxicating aroma, whiskey breath and gardenia lingering in my back seat. The sound of leather brings me back, lost in a moment, swallowed pill, the taste of her tongue her eyes widen as she smiles while glass animals play in the distance.

You kissed me softly, every inch of your skin melting into mine as you pulled me up into your lap. Laughing breathlessly at the ridiculousness of our situation, we collapsed in a pile of giggles and small sweet strawberry kisses. You ran your fingers through my hair, and whispered how beautiful you think I am, over, and over again into my skin, until I turned your face up towards mine, and sighed. I asked you if I could say something crazy, and you looked up at me with a smile. I asked if maybe we could try again one day. If you would want to. And you looked at me, kissed me hard, and answered only with your body on top of mine.

Having to tell you, the morning after, that you told me you loved me, hurt so much. Because we both know, we know how this ends. Another three months will pass. And we'll cross paths again, falling into each other's arms, beds, and hearts so easily, like we hadn't left at all.

I was starting to doubt that you cared for me, but feeling you pull me in tightly and kiss my forehead before falling asleep, or the playful water fights in the shower, or even the anxiety and panic of saying goodbye that left us both numb and questioning, I found my answers.

We can say it's over. You can tell me to sleep with someone else. You can keep trying to push me away and pretend that you don't love the feeling of my skin under your fingertips, but we can't really be over.

We may have to write these next chapters alone, but I know we're meant for more.

      I never told you how fast my heart beat when you looked at me like I was your winning lottery ticket, or how my chest feverishly caved in when you gently ran your fingers through my hair, because telling you that meant breaking all of this down. Breaking down these iron walls I had worked so hard to build. But it didn’t take long for you to realize you had impossibly seeped through a crack or two, and when you did, the most terrifying thing happened… you pressed that contagious smile to my lips and told me I had your heart in the palm of my hand. And I fell for it. Your innocence. Your gentle, slow kisses. Your fingertips softly tracing down the spine of my back. Your ecstasy. Your hands... God, your hands. And your uncontrollably passionate lips pressing against my mouth. Your arguments, your laughs, your midnight "I love you's." I fell for all of it, crashing to the ground, feeling the chronic pain of every single one of my bones breaking for you. And to tell you the truth, I've been walking around for weeks... feeling like I never really got up. So, remember when I told you you weren't like the rest? I was right. You were much, much worse.