You feel like me losing everything that I never knew belonged to me. You feel like my lungs choking my heart. My veins struggling to pull oxygen from its strangled mass. And the sweet relief of that breath as it releases just enough pressure for my heart to skip half its next beat.

You feel like the wind screaming through my windows on long winding roads. The noise pulsing through me and rattling me internally. The water splashing my feet atop the cool, lake rocks. And the sharp intake of the almost summer air hitting my lungs as your eyes crawl their way across my anxious skin.

And then I don’t care what you feel like.

You are hands raking through my hair. My hot tear-stained face pulled into yours. You are fingers under clothes and nails in skin. You are mouths touching mouths and breaths shared in the too early morning. Whispers dancing across my nerve endings. You are my waist being pulled in close and my arms reaching up to find the back of your neck.

You are falling. And I have fallen.

The school librarian called my mom. Telling her, he stopped going to class in 2015. He sleeps below a staircase. It's either you choose to go back to class, or forfeit your admission. 

I'm at home buried in tears, they say I have phycological problems. My dreams are abstract and impossible to achieve. Africa is not Europe.

Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton, during their times of inspiration, my forefathers were using bare hands to catch fish, running around in tree branches. Sucking milk from a cows breast.

Who do you think you're?

I say in my mind. I'm a man ahead of time. From the future, stuck in the past. Who sees himself sitting on the sun. Traveling from one galaxy to another in seconds and minutes.

Can someone help me. Be my helper in this darkest hour. Don't let me drown or aim deception.

Everyone solution is to do both together. Continue classes and dream of a better world.

  What they don't know is that, you cannot aim at an eagle by shooting a hawk. One must choose one or non. 

Help me. 

My eagle seeing binoculars is about to be taken from me

I don't want Hawks in my stew.

Help me, 

Please. Don't let me loose

Get me out of here.

This is a philosophical argument I will make. I am going to present a logical argument to support the theory that GOD is all energy, as a collective singularity. 

Premises:

1. The Laws of Physics state that energy cannot be created or destroyed.

2. Religion states that GOD cannot be created or destroyed.

3. Energy is omnipresent. Everything in this universe, including matter, is energy.

4. GOD is omnipresent.

5. Energy is omnipotent. Nothing can happen in this universe without the necessary energy being present.

6. GOD is omnipotent.

7. Energy is the doer of all things. If the necessary energy for something to happen, is present, it will inevitably happen. That is because energy's nature is to act. This is in accordance to the Law of Conservation of Energy, in physics; energy is never wasted.

8. The Scriptures state that GOD is the Doer of all things.

Conclusion: Energy is GOD. 

Conscious GOD; Conscious Energy?

GOD, by definition, is a conscious entity. GOD is omniscient; all-knowing. Is energy conscious? It could be. Let's compare energy to the human brain; in a human brain, a single neuron is not conscious by itself. But the whole brain, consisting of many countless neurons and many countless other mechanisms, is conscious. The consciousness of the brain is a collective consciousness. It's also a collective singularity; although your mind is a collective consciousness, you don't perceive yourself as a plural. You don't refer to yourself as "we" or "us." But the consciousness in your brain, is an energetic epiphenomenon. Your consciousness arises from the functioning of your brain, and what makes your brain function is electromagnetic energy. In fact, it is the electromagnetic field, which surrounds and fully interpenetrates your entire body, that allows, causes and regulates every single function of every mechanism of your body. This field contains all the information required to construct every one of your organs. Everything in your body is constructed in accordance to the information contained within, and transmitted by, your body's EMF (electromagnetic field). Consciousness arises as the sum of countless electromagnetic impulses occurring throughout your entire body. 

The next point to be made here, is that energy contains all the information of the entire universe. Information, is knowledge. Consciousness, or awareness, is the possession or containing of knowledge or information. Therefore, energy is conscious in the sense that it contains information. If you add together all the energy in the universe, you will get a sum that ultimately contains all the information or knowledge of the entire universe. Therefore, collectively, all energy knows everything in this universe. In fact, I find it reasonable to conclude that, since energy exists throughout all the infinite universes, energy collectively possesses all the information and knowledge of all the infinite universes. Basically, energy is omniscient; it knows all things.

The Divine Plural:

The Old Testament and The Qur'an both have GOD referring to Himself, often, in the "Divine Plural." The Divine Plural, is when GOD refers to Himself in the plural, as "Us," "We," "Our," "Ours," et cetera. None of the Scriptures ever offer any explanation for this. But over time, people have tried to explain it. The traditional explanation, is that GOD uses the Divine Plural to express His majesty. 

But if we assume that GOD is energy, then it makes more sense. Energy can be a conscious collective singularity. GOD's use of the Divine Plural would fit right in with the theory that GOD is energy, where all energy of the cosmos acts and functions together as a great, conscious, omnipresent, omniscient, omnipotent collective singularity. 

I'm not actually done with this post. But it's good enough for now for my readers to get started on the topic mentally.

Soft, white cushions

Made of satin.

A bed of roses,

Such lovely fragrance. 

A glass above,

So crystal clear,

I opened my eyes,

Yet a night without stars appears.

You see my reflection, 

Amidst the mist,

My face so peaceful,

And a cut in my wrist.

Such elegant designs,

The carved wood,

How much blood has it bled?

How much pain has it endured?

It is so like me,

A mesh of pain and beauty,

Yet in those cushions of serenity,

I can sleep, finally.

With you.

XF DBOOPU BQQSFDJBUF UIF JMMVNJOBUJPO PG USVUI XJUIPVU TFDSFUT BOE DJQIFST

OP USVUI IJEFT BOPUIFS

QFSIBQT EFDFJU QSPUFDUT GSBHJMF IVNBOJUZ GSPN PWFSFYQPTWSF BOE CMJOEOFTT

JU XBT CPSO BMPOHTJEF IVNBOJUZ BGUFS BMM

------------------------------------------DECRYPTION----------------------------------------------

SECRETS

WE CANNOT APPRECIATE THE ILLUMINATION OF TRUTH WITHOUT SECRETS AND CIPHERS

NO TRUTH HIDES ANOTHER

PERHAPS DECEIT PROTECTS FRAGILE HUMANITY FROM OVEREXPOSURE AND BLINDNESS

IT WAS BORN ALONGSIDE HUMANITY AFTER ALL

The state of the world is giving me anxiety. 

The "heartwarming" news seem trite and saccharin 

while the hateful news seems all too often. 

So much to say with no microphone to talk in, except Facebook. 

And these algorithms don’t seem to pick up what I need to hear, what we need to hear. The conversation. 

And maybe I'm jaded. 

Maybe social media has my head in a tail spin. 

Up from down, right from wrong, I can't seem to tell the difference. 

Maybe I'm just tired. Of the arrogance. Of the hypocrisy. Of the hate. 

Nobody understands how to listen. 

We retweet, share and post what we already know. 

We all want the microphone but say the same damn things when the spotlight's shone. Consuming nothing but what feeds our current reality 

With vastness of information outside our door. 

In a state of cognitive dissonance down to our cores. 

And while I lament on the societal side effects of apathy 

Becoming more apathetic every day I wonder,

If anxiety precedes apathy, what comes after? 

What will break through this digital chatter? 

Maybe I just don't really know what to do anymore. 

Except be anxious about the state of the world. 

All the while hoping something more productive than anxiety and apathy takes hold. 

i wear my two faces

and smile to you in both.

but god knows i should never

take off these red- lipped masks.

the men that would fall,

the eyes that would bleed.

the women that would cry

as they crumbled at their knees.

thank god i bought a few second- hand skins

from the slaughterhouse.