sometimes i want to die without actually having to .
is that really so much to ask for ?
you can put a gun to my head , and I'd say please . Shoot .
you can give me the most antagonising death ever ,
burn me alive , detach my limbs one by one ,
and I'd still say thanks .
And everyone around me is just saying
" bE pOsItiVe "
" iT's nOt ThAt haRd "
well not to be rude but
if i could be positive .
in this current moment .
wouldn't you think I'd have already tried it ?
if i could be positive .
i wouldn't be in this situation right now .
i tried it and failed .
oh so miserably .
i only dug myself deeper into a pit filled with quick sand .
the more i squirm ,
the more i get sucked in ,
the deeper i go .
i'm already at rock bottom .
my next destination is 6-feet under .
Life is a risk
I am old enough to remember a time before Covid. When people could fly almost anywhere in the world almost at the last minute without needing to have medical tests and filling out copious amounts of paperworks and downloading apps. I look forward to a time in the future when covid is treated like all other viral infections – something that we might get, but it is not serious and doesn't justify shutting the world down because one person coughed in the airport. We don't close the roads because one person got knocked off their bike. More people die on the roads every year than from covid.
I am old enough to remember the cold war and the imminent threat of nuclear oblivion with only a three minute warning. I remember practising our nuclear attack survival drill (hiding under the table). Now we are led to believe that another one degree temperature rise will cause the end of life on the planet as we know it. I look forward to a time in the future when people will develop some sense of perspective, risk and proportionality and not threaten to kill me because I used a plastic (non-recyclable) bag for my shopping.
I am old enough to remember a time when children grew up in stable two-parent families who stayed together foresaking all others in sickness and in health for better or worse for richer or poorer forever, without needing to use solicitors to communicate. I remember my mum always being at home after school and we didn't need to pay strangers to care for our kids. I look forward to a time in the future when the family is re-established as the best place for bringing up children at the heart of a stable community and stable society. Forever.
1.5 °C
Kids these days are given the world; it is ablaze, ferocious and rampant. The legacies we hope to leave behind, etched away by our own willful ignorance, our haughty vaingloriousness; interminable, rapacious--grasping, we kowtow to the idols we've built,
to a life we've grown accustomed to. We so brazenly and so shamelessly have the audacity to hand our posterity a world that is on the verge of collaspe. Where is the urgency? Where is our compassion? Our fecklessness will be their cross to bear.
They Do.
Kids these days don't live like kids. I'm not saying the music they listen to has to be the same or that they must leave behind their technological devices for fresh air and socializing, but their mindset should be relaxed. It should be worry-free and it should be about wants not needs. When we become an adult, life gets harder because we realize we have to prioritize the things we can do and make sacrifices and compromises in order to survive and fulfill our needs. That's not a burden we should carry as children. Yet, the more I look at kids these days - they do.
Gen Z
Kids these days
matcha lattes for the millennials
and TikTok for Gen Z
Instagram influencers and
air fryers and skateboarders
mortgages through the roof
health care bankrupting youth
student loans and
racial tension
we’ve been left
a ruined planet
for how frivolous we are
we are fighting
for basic things
a life worth living
Black World
Everything was black. Which in a way is funny because that is my favorite color. The sea was black as if all the oil thrown into the sea had finally swallowed it up. The sun bathed the earth in black and yet everything was visible and strange. Not like the night that brushed the dusk with dark colors, but as if the whole world was dead and yet it kept going.
There was also the food. Black, as if someone had let it burn. I chewed each piece of hamburger reminding myself how fashionable it had once been. Even the lettuce, everything was black. And yet, so tasty. I felt every taste even though everything looked the same.
It was all so crazy and strange but I was still curious, as if I needed to test how far it would go. Taking a dark knife, I lifted it over my skin of the same color and made a cut, deep and painful. Laughing above my teeth that may or may not been rotten, I laughed about the dark liquid that oozed out. It was so real, so beautiful and thick. I ran a finger over it and put the liquid in my mouth, still tasting metallic.
It felt like a perfect, almost unreal world. Maybe it was me waiting for the end of the world, maybe it was my conscience fading away. When a cloud of black smoke dissolved into gray, the smell of cigarettes escaped through the window. All the colors came back and yet nothing looked so beautiful. Not even the golden sun. So raising the cigarette to my mouth, I drew in the air until everything went black again.
Ten Things You Never Knew About Déjà Vu
1. Déjà vu is that feeling that unique events are repeating.
2. The term déjà vu comes from the Old French for, ‘I’m sure I’ve lived this before.’
3. Déjà vu is that feeling that unique events are repeating.
4. The first person to experience déjà vu never existed. The first occurrence happened when it was repeated.
5. Some people believe déjà vu is past life experiences intruding on present time. You can contact these people at the St Templar's Hospital for the Not-Quite-Criminally Beyond-Hopes.
6. In the 1940s, Soviet parapsychologists attempted to study the effect déjà vu had on lab rats purchased from China. Unfortunately, no results were recorded due to the language barrier between the scientists and their subjects.
7. (Have I posted this one before?)
8. In a universe where time runs backwards, déjà vu is known as ‘remembering events that will happen’.
9. If Time is an imaginary construct designed to help the feeble human mind cope with the complexities of the ever-changing physical world, then déjà vu does not exist. Likewise, the time required to read this post does not exist so I have just wasted the past ten minutes of my non-time.
10. No, doing the time warp will only make things worse. (I’m sure I’ve read that somewhere before.)
