love

lasts

like a star

a beauty

burning brightly

for all to see.

it is endless

and timeless

ellapsing over a billion years.

my love for you

has not ceased,

i keep looking up at the stars

(knowing that you are under them as well)

and thinking

about how long it's been...

but my love for you

still stirs softley

kissing my stomach

with its butterffly lips

and caressing my heart

ever so subtly

(i can still feel its warmth).

love

and

stars

"die"

(it's true)

but there is always

a little something

left.

and that love

(that star)

will slowly cool

until it disapears

(but not for another billion years).

i will always love you

There’s an empty void were you once were

That no one else could ever fill

I could try and I would fail.

Where loads of emotions used to live

There is now nothing,

Nothing at all,

All that time and dedication

What a waste.

I’m still in denial that you’re here

But you’re not

I look out the window expecting to see your face

But there’s just drab scenery of course.

I miss you and I’m mad about it

I’m angry that you decided to go away

Without ever considering that it would hurt me

So now look at me

And at least feel sorry.

He broke my heart,

with his actions.

He did something

that could be defined as selfish -

leaving us all behind,

with no reason

no ‘goodbye’,

no ‘xoxo’,

no nothing.

He just left.

Leaving us all behind

without

him.

Leaving me behind

without

my best friend,

to talk to,

my shoulder,

to cry on,

my lover,

to kiss.

Now

I have an ex lover,

who’s gone.

A lover,

to

miss,

an imaginary friend,

to talk to,

and a headstone,

with his name on,

to cry at,

a solid stone,

to cry on.

But,

amongst

all this anger,

and pain,

grief too,

I understand why he did it:

he was suffering,

emotionally.

He was injured many times,

physically.

I understand his reason,

even though he didn’t say it out loud,

all the thoughts troubling him.

I understood him,

and he understood me,

that

is how I know I will be fine,

that I will manage;

because he knew me

and he knew I’d manage - slowly but surely-.

Painfully.

And knowing this,

I know

that

no

love

was

lost,

when his

life

was

lost.

8.7.2020

when i told you i

was fine

that things happen

that you should leave

i didn’t think

your answer would be

baby

no harm done

no love lost today

just yesterday

i’ll carry it with me

till my bones break

but baby

your bones broke

and mine are still longing for them

baby

that night

no love was lost

that night

we were.

No love lost -{renata ferretti}

It is to you I  usually  run to

...but now where you sit is empty.

I see the imprint  of where you used to be,

where you'd  be when you were relaxed, with me.

Yet, I  now only see impressions of you where you once were...

And the sickening  thought creeps into me-where will I  be without you next to me?

I hear your voice and all the  words you used to say

The words that wrapped around me tight, and squeezed away any doubts.

The words a fixed  to me like an ever burning blaze....

And now that flame has dissipated and what is left is a thickening smoke.

So as the smoke engulfs my very me, sadly I  must beg:

Go away from me!

You were once here for me to look to

But now you're gone and so my screams are unheard

my cries ignored.

But still I  implore:

Where will I be without you here?

And now I  know that everyday  will never be like yesterday.

The haunting gloom overtaking  me endeavors to destroy  my sanity.

I used to think of you and us and we

And now I  notice it's  only me

The me who used to exist before it was to you I  could turn

And now no matter how many turns and swirls I  take, I've  come to realize my fate

I'm  back to the place in which  I  once stood and...

I again have  nowhere to belong.

I look back

At the memories we’d made

The times we shared

The lessons you taught.

Be brave.

Be strong.

Be confident.

Be loud.

Most lessons were forgotten.

Blown away by the winds of a façade.

That the world we lived in was perfect

But now, the masquerade is over.

Yes, you taught me to be brave.

Strong.

Confident.

Loud.

I just didn’t tune into the lesson

Until you left.

So despite our arguments

Our quarrels

Our mess.

I took with me something valuable.

I may have lost you.

But I have not lost love.

Her face framed in buzzing neon lights

cheap liquor lacing sharp breaths

sharp

like her nails, filed to points.

sharp

like her tongue as it coils fear into words that cut.

words that cut at the best parts of her-

trying to carve him out of her heart,

with a blade that is still too dull.