look best

on the day

I'm not there to see

I O U T S H I N E

you

||again||

(typical of me)

Say nice things at my funeral

《i won't 》

Tell them how much you miss me

》i don't 《

Buy some flowers

for the family that you

h a t e

Stand and watch

as they put me in my

g r a v e

As the thought

{of me}

wakes

you

up

each

night

As old demons

chase you

t/h/r/o/u/g/h/ t/h/e/ l/i/g/h/t/

I hope you think

of all the things I did

I hope you hate me well past

.the end.

Think you're

[safe?]

Who says the dead

//can't kill?\\

Hope you enjoy my funeral

i will

i

am over this

will

it ever be done

set

the broken pieces

back up

only to break

them again

your

words

murder me

your actions

slice me

to ribbons

house

this one

it's never

been a home

because you

live here

on

my mind

there's

one idea

fire

is the only

way out

hand me a match, would you?

Oh, never have I found an out for the likes of us.

We ride to the end of the line on a Greyhound bus.

Our hearts punch in cluttered synchronicity.

Hoping for a little chivalry when I get to the city.

And maybe my self-mutilated mind will cut a break

to a girl who’s fallen on hard times.

Missing home, vestiges of pine fading.

Wanna’ lean into oncoming traffic—

wait nevermind. I’m fine.

Totally fine.

Never have I found an in for the likes of us.

Shut out from life, pariahs, anomalies we were.

When the planes came and things changed,

raining fire from above,

it was just the signal to future vigils;

a little smoke to suffocate our love.

A silver scream severed my thoughts,

when silverscreen tableaus of disaster

did manifest.

You looked to the sky with a coin in your teeth.

And a drag in your eyes that could never find rest.

And we couldn’t tell from afar if it was a bird

or a plane. And what fell was either a bomb or,

well...

Recalling those days at the fair where we met,

laughter hanging gently in the air.

Surrounded, complicitly stranded in your care.

Oh, never have I found a clear road for the likes of us.

We’ve taken to paving our own ways.

The chore of dragging our murky hearts falls on us,

lest we lose footing in these strange days.

And we stood at the top of the Ferris Wheel,

looking down on the shapes filing in below.

I looked in your eyes for the very first time,

and unbeknownst to us it began to

snow.

And on the morning of our wedding day,

with undue pride in my voice I rasply declared

“I am a woman of many strong convictions.”

And you retorted.

“I’ve seen your rap sheet. I know.”

Ambivalence my crutch, the sky stood

on my shoulders and grew heavier

each day.

Words like a band of thieves who

cleared out the orchard and fixed our

fence along the way.

Our lives such a spectrum of gray

(or so I thought).

Oh, never have I seen you

shiver that way

as you did the moment before your death.

Puzzle pieces of wall hung to shield us

from nature’s fiery breath.

And as the embers floated away with you,

passengers into the sky,

my screams crumbled to whimpers inside me.

Choked by powder, I couldn’t cry.

And now the rubble is a memory

as I stand at the precipice of this nexus bright.

Ephemera stirs off me with the wind.

The city beckons with artificial light.

And I have nothing to amend this fresh start

but the clothes on my back and

remnants of you in my heart.

And this burnt-out match I once used to keep warm...

Extinguished by a rainstorm.

Recalling by its fiery amb’r brush

your arms,

the pieces of our stolen youth,

the times we

laughed and hawed with nothing

much to prove.

We’d been playing with matches long before the busy sky

fractured our fantasy and drowned us in ‘real’.

In memorium of your burnt body splayed,

I will rein in this fear and try my hardest to heal.

I will make a life for myself.

My past won’t hold me down.

I will take this used match of mine

and burn these nightmares to the ground.

#fiction

His whole face was unclean and wooly, ripe with Uukie lice.

Unable to wash away sins, soap was an unnecessary foreign luxury lost on the clean residing beyond the trees inside their lofty chambers. He would hide from the vain virtually hairless warm eggheads, not to avoid their taunts and stares, more so because he craved peaceful anonymity as much as the feeling of the dark mud strangling his hairy toes and the ash living under his bropunzel.

Had he overslept past sunrise when the clearing became occupied with the juvenile pitter patter of feet following the rules heading towards the clanging school bell in the distance; if he had a name and was confronted, it would not satisfy the inquisitor, since he would only introduce himself if cajoled and coerced using a soft "U" sound grunt. Of few words, he was comfortable in his quiet lonely form, and as just a rumor to them, as a legend, as an afterthought, he swiftly maintained his distance from the home dwellers with precision, until that one unfortunate lazy day he rose with the sun already up over the ridge. A vision dressed in all white gingham lace, with a red satin ribbon braided through her golden hair, she was too young to be a bride and too old not to know better than to wander away from the others on her way to school. First she screamed, and as he retreated, her uncontrollable laughter reverberated off his deferential back and into his uncomplicated intellect; a laugh universally known as an affront to otherness.

After that day, when he sensed their close proximity, caught like a novel virus he contemplated their peculiarities and intolerance. "Umm, Ugg, Urr, Udd,....." which in Uukie translates into, "With all their words, with all their thoughts, what do they know about living off the land in harmony with nature? Look at them all in their gaudy garments off to a heated room in search of more words, more things, returning at dusk to their elders readily offering abundance to be consumed and absorbed all the while sitting comfortably beside their warm hearths communally. How would any of them know how to fend for themselves should their comforts be blown away? Is it not fair to teach them of my ways, the lesson of simplicity and enlightenment for rudimentary survival? It is not my intention to follow their ways and then laugh last. It is only my intention to catechize."

Long after he burned their homes right down to the solid earth, one after the next catching fire like dry cotton until there were none standing, long after they picked up their pieces from the ash and moved on, they all spoke of the Uukie beast, who grew larger each time the story was told, asking the same question habitually to the only one who had ever caught a glimpse, for as long as she lived.

"Tell us again. Why did you laugh?"

"Maybe, someday, I’ll set your house on fire."

"I’d like to see you try."

"Is that a challenge?"

"You’re the one who said you’d do it."

"And I will. If it comes to that."

"What’s that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know. Will you push me to extremes? That remains to seen."

"Right, so we can all be clear it’s my fault when my house is in flames."

"Exactly."

"And I’m the one pushing you."

"That’s what I said. I mean, it’s always you, right? Can you think of a single time anything has ever been my fault?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Yes, I can think of many times, actually. In fact, things are usually your fault."

"Such as?"

"Everything else you’ve set on fire, maybe?"

"No, the branch was your fault, the flowers were your fault, and the wagon was… not your fault, but definitely not mine."

"And the doghouse?"

"Oh, that one was obviously the dog’s fault."

"The dog didn’t even do anything!"

"The dog was a menace."

"It just slept all the time! And stared dolefully at the lawn now and then."

"And it had a personal vendetta against me."

"Wouldn’t that mean you murdered its family?"

"It never had any family. I must have murdered its favourite ant or something."

"It had a favourite aunt?"

"No, like the insect. It probably had a fling with a little crawly ant and then got mad when I stepped on it."

"It literally just slept all the time. I never even heard it bark."

"It growled at me, every time I went near it. Every time it saw me."

"So you set its house on fire?"

"No. That was after it died."

"And you’re trying to claim it was the dog’s fault?"

"It was the dog’s fault for dying and leaving the house all empty and wooden and tempting!"

"Right. Because that’s how accountability works."

"Exactly."

"So if I die, that’s when you’ll burn my house down?"

"Sure. Or if you do something else that warrants it, of course."

"Right."

"Yeah."

"What if I burn your house down first?"

"That would definitely warrant it."

"You’re so annoying."

"Where are the matches?"

I will set your house on fire.

Oh yes such a threat, I live under a bridge arsehole!

I'll eat your food!

Enjoy the side of maggots...

I'll take the clothes off your back!

I'm not sure where my skin starts and the clothes end... Good luck finding out

I'll-I'll kill you!

Please! My feet are getting chilly with all this chit chat of arsen.

Why you-

You're rather boring aren't you? That's why your alone trying to shoot a hobo!

I'm not- how could you tell?

Your bottom lip is trembling, come sit, let's talk about life.

Ok...

They always fall for it don't they?

The two sat facing one another not breaking eye contact 

"You know why I am here?"

"I do"

"Do you have anything you would like to say... or ask perhaps?"

"I don't"

"Listen I know that you have tried, look at you now- you've let yourself go"

"I put aside time on myself for time in myself"

"What does that even mean?" 

"It means I want to get better, and it is difficult enough, and nothing make up fixes"

"You've become quite angry I see" said laughingly

"I have"

"...and your faith, is this mess of you still clinging to faith?"

"I still have faith, I would not be here sitting with you if I didn't" tears slipped out

"but you know I am here to kill you?"

"I do"

"So why need to have the pleasantries? I'm just curious"

"Because I have faith"

"We did cover that you know"

"I do"

"Yet here we are"

"we are"

"I wonder- will this be our last encounter?" 

"It could be"

"And let's say it is, tell me- what happens next"

"There is no next, if there were we would not be here... this is it... "

Silence. 

Eye contact and silence. 

"Do you need help?"

"I don't"

"Alright, and how about one more list of the.."

          "...no... no more lists no more guilt, I have no time for lists"

"wow, okay then- no more lists" biting the corner of her mouth, "When?"

"Soon but I don't know and I won't know until it happens" 

"... and do you think you will go to hell?"

"I don't know" her head bent lowly shaking side to side

"Well all I need is the permission then" in a slippery tone

"okay"

"Not to be cheeky- but what you want is going to have to be more than an O.K"

"Yeah, I understand that. I will write you a letter"

Silent. Eye contact and silent. 

"Sounds pretty standard, that's not like you"

"I am not me anymore"

"I can see it actually, I actually can see it"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore"

"That's fine, but you will let me know then?"

"Yes"

One more look at one another, only this time more in full. 

With a deep sigh, she stood- pushed her chair in, and walked away from the mirror. 

i will set your house on fire,

and enjoy it as it lasts.

i'll watch the flames consume the wood,

the windows tremble ash.

i will ask the smoke to conjure

machinations straight from hell,

and maybe when you've seen it all

you'll treat me with respect.

with all my love,

your younger sister.

I will set your house on fire

Before I'm forced to live in it

With you

I will burn your life

Away

Your confidence

Your hope

Before you can kill mine

I will set your world

Into a fire tornado

You know

Like the ones we now see

On TV

I will destroy myself

Before you hurt me

But you just smile

And say

"Okay,

I'll do the dishes tonight."

I open my fist

And you take my hand

And you know what

I'd take it all back

If you do the dishes

Every night

Please?

This story is inspired by the Reedsy.com prompt "Write about a character arriving in a place unlike anywhere they’ve ever been."

*****

*There was a man named Hugh from another world, who came to the Earth to defeat evil. He created a network of heroes all over the Earth, bound by crime fighting technology. This story begins with a hero named Jirk, doing battle in a ruined city. However, the focus will not remain on our hero....*

Jirk stood in the destroyed city facing his foe, grateful for the hero network he was a part of. Not only was the network able to provide him backup that evacuated the civilians in time, but the network also equipped him with a special dark helmet that provided his body with full armor, enhanced strength, and access to various weapons within a quick thought. He was going to need this technology at his disposal, since his foe had quite the powers.

Jirk's adversary was a muscular man that was slightly bigger than himself. The villain had no armor, but he was dressed in a muscle shirt and jeans. He went by the name Nostrel. Nostrel had powers that were definitely odd, but dangerous all the same. Nostrel had the ability to fire destructive lasers out of his nostrils. He could also pull his ears off of his head and throw them, and the force of his ears hitting something was the equivalent of striking something with a wrecking ball. These destructive ears would also fly back to Nostrel's head on command. Lastly, Nostrel could make T-Shirts sprout out of any terrain by thought. He seemed to like binding buildings in T-Shirts and lighting them ablaze with his nostril lasers.

Jirk didn't know Nostrel's backstory - he and his team were simply responding to a distress call. They were advised that Nostrel had destroyed a pharmaceutical building in the city. Somehow the building was cleared of people before it was destroyed. The remaining citizens in the city were all evacuated by Jirk's colleagues upon arrival. Once Nostrel and Jirk were the last two in the city, Nostrel became very destructive, trashing the rest of the city with his powers. Jirk thought about how Nostrel had to be taken out of the picture before he started targeting lives next. Fortunately, Jirk had a method to remove Nostrel, and lethal force would not be necessary. A new tool had been developed by the hero network's founder, Hugh. It was a special laser gun whose blast would transport the target to an alternate prison dimension created by Hugh. The dimension had limitless room for dangerous criminals, and even had a rehabilitation option available. Jirk felt this would be the best place for Nostrel to go, but he had to get a clear shot first. The gun needed for transfer was new technology, and at this point it would need 24 hours to reload after being fired. He had to make his shot count.

Jirk dashed towards Nostrel, dodging T-Shirts that formed around him in an effort to avoid being ensnared. One ear flew at him, then the second one followed shortly afterwards. Fortunately neither ear hit him. After dodging the ears that flew back to their owner, nostril lasers were the next obstacle, but Jirk dove and slid under them like he was trying to score a run in baseball. Nostrel seemed surprised by this, as the slide maneuver put Jirk right in front of the villain. Still on the ground, Jirk pointed the gun upward and took a direct shot at Nostrel's head. The blast resulted in Nostrel's body disintegrating, but Nostrel's story was not over. He had simply been transported to a new world.

*****

Nostrel woke up and found himself in a field. He looked up at the starry sky, then looked in every direction for anything that could help him figure out where he could be. The field seemed to go on forever. Where was he?

A figure then appeared before him. The figure had a silver helmet and yellow armor. The figure's look was similar to Jirk's, except for the brightly colored armor.

"Greetings." Said the figure in a distorted, but kind voice. "You can call me Guide."

"Guide?" Nostrel replied. "That's a strange name."

"Any stranger than Nostrel?" Guide responded.

"Seriously man?" Nostrel retorted, feeling slightly offended. "Wait, how do you know my name?"

"I know everything about you." Guide said. "I am an artificial intelligence that was designed for this dimension."

"This dimension?" Nostrel asked, feeling confused. "Where are we?"

"This is the Reflection Dimension." Guide answered. "It was created by a man named Hugh, through scientific means from another planet."

"The Reflection Dimension?" Nostrel asked, seeking answers.

"Yes." Guide replied. "This world was created as an alternate to prisons. This field stretches forever, and you won't run into any other residents that were sent here. Any food, shelter, digital entertainment, or lodgings needed I can bring you by request."

"How long do I have to stay here?" Nostrel asked.

"You are here forever unless you pass a test." Guide replied. "The test will determine if you have changed for the better. If you pass, you are free to go back to Earth with no further sentence. Hugh cleared this method of rehabilitation with world leaders."

Nostrel paused for a moment, then decided in his head that this wasn't a bad break. He could pretend to regret what he had done, fake his way through whatever the test was, then return home and payback those that hurt him.

"Alright Mr. Guide, I am ready to change." Nostrel said in the most confident voice he could muster. "Let's take this test right now."

"Are you sure?" Guide asked. "Have you had enough time to reflect?"

"I have had enough time." Nostrel replied. "Let's do this."

*****

Guide caused a portal to open, and Nostrel went in. Suddenly Nostrel found himself in a familiar place. He was in the pharmaceutical building he had previously destroyed. The building was still intact, besides the damage he had caused to get to the company CEO's office. He found himself reliving the situation that had started the battle in the city.

"Now now Mr. Nostrel, you signed the agreement that we could not be held accountable for any side effects from the ears, nose and throat medicine you were doing the clinical trial for." The CEO said. "We are shocked that our product caused you to have destructive ears, nostril lasers, and T-Shirt creation abilities. But we were in agreement that any side effects can not be held against us."

"THEN I'LL HOLD THEM AGAINST YOU BY DESTROYING YOUR BUILDING!" Nostrel screamed. "YOU MIGHT WANT TO EVACUATE YOUR BUILDING, UNLESS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR EMPLOYEES EITHER!"

And with that the CEO ran out of the room, and within moments announcements calling for evacuation were sounding throughout the building. Once Nostrel was certain the building was clear he used his new powers and leveled the building. He then observed a group of figures with dark helmets and full body armor before him.

"We will get the civilians out of here!" One of the figures exclaimed. "Are you up for taking down the threat?"

"Yes, thank you." Said the figure whose name wasn't stated, but you the reader would know him as Jirk.

"Yes, get all the people out." Nostrel said snidely. "Then I will take you on."

This was taking place just like the actual battle had prior to being sent to the Reflection Dimension. Nostrel assumed that his challenge was a rematch simulation, and his goal was to win the fight this time. Once it was confirmed that all the civilians were safely evacuated, the battle began. There was a caveat though.

Nostrel was fighting the same fight as before. However, his powers were suddenly gone. He could no longer bind buildings with T-Shirts. He could not blast lasers out of his nose. And his ears could no longer be used as powerful projectiles. The powers he had gained from the clinical trial were gone. And that wasn't the worst of it. Jirk was growing. Nostrel found himself looking up at a giant Jirk. And he was powerless to do anything. Frozen in fear, the last thing Nostrel observed was a giant foot crushing him.

*****

When Nostrel came to, he found himself back in the field again. He saw Guide standing before him too.

"OKAY, WHAT KIND OF CHALLENGE WAS THAT?" Nostrel asked angrily. "THERE WAS NO WAY TO WIN THAT!"

"Yes, before your challenge began the condition of your heart and mind were examined, and this directly affected your challenge." Guide replied. "One who enters a challenge here without truly changing their ways will never win. The darker your intentions, the harder your challenge will be."

This revelation hit Nostrel harder than Jirk's giant foot in the challenge. He realized that he wouldn't be leaving if he kept his desire for revenge. But he still felt so angry for what had happened from the clinical trial. He wondered if he really could change.

"May I discuss this with you?" Guide asked. "Honestly, I think you are further ahead than you think. Yes, you did a lot of wrong by destroying the city and attacking the hero sent to stop you. However, you did not attempt to hurt any other civilians, including those that worked for the pharmaceutical company. You can be opposed to the pharmaceutical company and what their clinical trial did to you, but violence and destruction won't help."

"You aren't wrong, but I need some time to process this." Nostrel said, calming down. "I would like to stay here a while and think through what I should do next."

"That is absolutely fine." Guide said kindly. "I can provide you with whatever you need."

*****

Nostrel lived off of the resources of the Reflection Dimension for a year and a half, and in that time he made a decision on what to do should he return home. He would publicly announce where his powers came from, and he would admit to his mistakes in attacking the city and the hero trying to protect it. He would then work on making amends, using his powers for good. Maybe he could even join the organization Hugh created.

"Guide, I am ready to try the challenge again." Nostrel said. "And this time, I think I am ready."

"Very well." Guide replied. "I congratulate you on your new outlook, and I wish you the best."

Guide opened a portal and Nostrel walked in. He found himself back in the CEO's office. The CEO once again distanced himself and his company from taking any responsibility for the effects of the clinical trial. Nostrel found his anger flaring up, but this time he stopped himself from giving in.

"I want to destroy this building and take down your company for what you've done to me, but further violence isn't the answer." Nostrel said. "You can bill me for the damages I caused to get in here, but I will be telling people about what your products do, and what you don't do to help your victims." Nostrel then walked away from the CEO and proceeded out of the building. Once he was on the street he saw a flash of white light. Soon the white light was all he could see.

*****

The white light eventually faded, and Nostrel found himself back in the city he had destroyed. Before him stood the hero known as Jirk.

"Cool, you're back!" Jirk said excitedly. "It appears that you passed the test in the Reflection Dimension. I am not sure how long you were there, but it has only been a few minutes since I sent you."

"Only a few minutes?" Nostrel asked. "I have been gone much longer, but that was time I needed. I apologize for destroying this city, and I apologize for attacking you. I am not happy about what has happened to me, but I would like to make the most of it. I will start by working to rebuild the damages I have caused."

"Sounds great!" Jirk said enthusiastically. "My team and I can help you with that. And my boss Hugh has connections with reliable pharmaceutical companies. They could begin working on a cure for you if you'd like."

"I may take you up on that, but I would like to see how I can use these abilities for good first." Nostrel replied. "I don't suppose your boss is hiring?"

"Always!" Jirk said, smiling under his helmet. "Let's go talk to him together. He will be thrilled that the dimension he created has helped you and anyone else that the new you will help in the future."

Nostrel smiled and shook Jirk's hand. He looked forward to repenting for his mistakes, and he looked forward to the adventures that were sure to come as a result of the changes he would make in his life....