Adam and Eve’s first encounter
After Eve's formation from Adam's rib was complete, they awakened. Eve opened her eyes, looked around and began to scream. Adam immediately jumped up and covered his ears.
"Why are you doing that?" he asked.
Eve scrambled away from him, and ran behind one of the many fruit trees in the garden.
"Don't come any closer. Who are you? What are you? What is this place? How did we get here? Why do you look like that?" Eve screamed from behind a tree.
"Seriously? I can't answer you if you keep talking. And can you tone it down just a little, please? You're making my head hurt."
"Who are you?" Eve whispered.
"No, no, the lower voice is better. I am Adam. Man. You are Eve. Woman. God made you to help me with the plants and animals."
"Who is God?"
"Now that's a question for the ages...."
God introduces Adam to Eve.
Adam says, why did you make her so beautiful, she is amazing?
So you would love her, Adam.
Eve says, Hey God, why did you make this guy so stupid?
So he would love you.
Adam and Eve believed they were part of a canvas. Their lives in the garden were being painted.
Of course, they had to make sure it was a politically correct painting, so rather than just walk around naked like normal people, Adam and Eve carried leaves to hide their... delicate extremities.
"You know," Adam said one day. "I think I've been holding this leaf in front of my dick for too long."
"How do think I feel?" Eve snapped. "I have no free hands! I have to cover my chest and my glory hole. I can't even itch my nose!"
"Yikes," said Adam. "Want me to do that for you?"
"Yes! Please! You have no idea how horrible it's been!"
And so Adam came over to Eve and itched her nose. And then backed up very quickly, eager for the conversation to be over.
"Ack! It's already itching again!"
"So... You woke up," Eve commented. Adam just nodded, brushing dirt of his face.
"Where, uh, where did you come from?" he asked.
"You where sleeping and," Eve hesitated, "God told me I was made from one of your ribs..."
"You came from my chest?"
Eve looked around, "So what do we do now?"
"My job is to name everything, so I should name you. And since you came from me, I should name you something like man, right?" Adam asked. Eve just nodded.
"Hey, what's the first thing I said when you told me you were made from my rib?" Adam asked again, animated.
Eve frowned, saying, "'Whoa?'"
"Yeah! So, I will name you woman!" Adam exclaimed, chuckling "Get it? Whoa-man? Woman!"
Eve made a face, but couldn't get a single word in, because everytime she brought up her unfortunate name, Adam would laugh again.
like Riding with the Top Down, but sans a top
Eve: Do you feel a draught?
Adam: Not a noticeable one.
Eve: You don’t catch my drift, do you? Did you leave the door open?
Adam: The door?
Eve: What? Were you raised in a barn?
Adam: What is “a barn”? And what is "raised", by the way?
Eve: Quit ribbing me, Add. It’s not like I was born yesterday, you know.