Weeds of Indifference
I talk to myself in the still silence
leaving a trail of tiny air pebbles,
I stop breathing in synchrony
to your heartbeat, encased
in a folded cage, trapping me
in a place I try valiantly to escape.
I reach for you but you can’t hear
my words are scattered, invisible
a translucent force, backhanding me,
in an eye blink, I turn to face nothing,
obliterated swirling thoughts, unknown.
Why can’t anyone else hear me?
I am hidden in the weeds of indifference
surely you know what I am saying, but
my open estuary confesses only to me.
I beg of you to feed my raging fire
by listening to the image in your mirror.
Must I be the only one to validate
my worth, hidden in my own intensity?
Normal?
Okay, Allyson, I'm letting you in on a little secret. You can't tell anyone. Okay? Did you get that? Do I need to repeat myself so you completely understand? YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!
I talk to myself. I talk about my books to me, I talk about the weather, all that good stuff. It can be embarrassing when you get caught talking to yourself, but that doesn't me it's wrong! It is perfectly okay.
Talk to Oneself?
Myself: Did you hear that, Trina? She asked if it's okay to talk to oneself!
Me: You dummy. No, I did not "hear" it. But I did "read" it.
Myself: *sigh* You know bloody well what I meant!
Me: Calm down, girl, *pfft ...lmao*! Little does she know that we do it, like, ALLLLLL, the time!
Myself: For real. Hell, sometimes we even argue with ourself!
Me: Yeah, that's when things get REALLY interesting!
Myself: Except for maybe those around us, then it's probably scary.
Me: True dat.
Myself: But to elaborate, I think it's quite alright to talk to oneself-
Me: And argue with oneself.
Myself: Right. On occasion...Rare occasions... But it's actually good to talk to oneself, as sometimes hearing one's thoughts out loud, as opposed to just in one's head, can help one out when one has a problem. I don't know how that works, but it's true. And studies have shown that, as well.
Me: Correct...As long as it doesn't cause actual, you know, mental issues-
I: Like when I - *lmao* - show up?
Me and Myself: Oh, God, here she is.
I: I - *lol* was just trying to give an example of what can happen when things get a little crazy and oneself starts talking to two of oneself...And for that matter, shouldn't it be called "talking to twoself?"...Or maybe threeself, in this instance. Hmmm...
Me: *blink*...Aaanyway...Um, yeah. It's ok as long as it doesn't show a break from reality, in which case it may be time to see a head doctor. It may also be time to talk to someone if you're talking to yourself so much that you start to avoid other people in favor of listening to yourself.
I: Or selves.
Myself: Riiight...and thanks to you, I, I think - or should that be Myself think...thinks? - that our readers now have a good idea of what insanity looks like. Thanks alot, I.
I: *hmph* I'm leaving, then. I - *lol*- know when I'm not wanted! *walks out in a huff*
Me: *cough* So, um, I...that is, Me...hopes that we haven't shown ourselves to be so kooky that you won't take our word for it.
Myself: Yep. It honestly can be a good thing...And fun, too.
Me: So, we hope we helped you out-
Myself: And entertained you.
Me: And that you can commence with talking to yourself without fear that you're totally losing it.
Myself: Unlike, Trina, here.
Me: You DO know that you're named Trina, too, right?
Myself:...
The Benefits of Talking to Yourself
It is absolutely okay to talk to yourself! Talking to yourself helps you sort your emotions out and figure problems out. They may not all admit it, but probably everyone you know talks to themselves. It's just sort of...natural.
Hearing our own voices seems to soothe us and has a calming effect. It's like we're telling ourselves everything's going to be okay and that we're not alone...without actually saying those words.
Marbles?
Sometimes I find myself talking aloud while doing something, without even paying attention to what I'm saying. When I think of a joke suddenly or an "amazing" pun, I say it out loud and then laugh and laugh.
My dad heard me a couple of times, giggling to myself, and every time he says, "She's losin' her marbles again."
When I'm reading a book, I find myself commenting on everything that I find funny or confusing. I read it to myself and work out what could be happening, and that's why I always prefer an empty room while reading.
Of course, I also hum to myself and sing, especially in the shower and while walking down an empty street.
It's as if my life is a movie, and I'm just laughing and commenting on everything that happens as if I'm watching it with some popcorn and licorice (only the red flavor, never the black ones).
Generally I consider myself pretty sane (key word generally) so if I do it, it's totally a-okay. ;)
Hide All Sharp Objects
Of course it is okay to talk to yourself. That voice in my head is my friend. Who else would encourage me and say, "Go on, one more piece of cake won't hurt. Just don't add the ice cream." OR, "Hell, she can't talk to me that way. So I'm two hours late, she's lucky I showed up at all." Then, of course, he always helps me stand up for myself, "You know, I really don't need this job. I can find another." Funny, it's been three months. All he says now is, "Maybe you shouldn't have said, fuck you to the boss."
There was that one time though that I am still a little bothered. The time he said, "C'mon let's go, we don't need this bunch of losers who think they are your friends." Later that night when I tried to go to sleep he was up saying, "Wow, you're all alone now. No friends, no girlfriend, no job. What are you going to do?"
