I hold the jagged edges

of life in bleeding hands,

I stepped into endless

dance with you, but

music has died down,

leaving sliced thoughts

that cannot heal,

missing puzzle pieces,

space left unfilled.

Holding flames

of the past within

my soul, I become

daughter of the sun.

Now, I can’t move on -

I just am,

without substance,

ripped stitches of the past.

I can’t go forward

without erasing what was.

I try to rent my skin

so there will be a place

you haven’t touched.

What’s inside of me,

I cannot see.

#KnowWhat'sBehindButCan'tSeeForward #MusicStopped

I stood in the dark, blind to the world around me. I tightened my grasp on the hand that was leading me. Scared of losing my way, I clung to it with desperation. For he alone, could see. I begged him to take the blindfold off. "It's not nessacary," I pleaded for the light of day. He responded with an air of annoyance, "trust me Cara." I had trusted him, in fact, I had trusted him with my heart, but this situation was new to both of us. He pulled me in front of him, so he could guide me through a narrow space. "Please, can you take it off?" I tried yet again, hoping for a different answer. "No, we don't have time," there was a hint of anger in his voice, "if you don't shut up, we'll get caught." I opened my mouth to object, but quickly shut it again. I could hear the voices of my kidnappers somewhere far off, and the smell of gunpowder was still strong in the air. I knew if I wanted out of here, I had to trust him. So I let him continue to guide me through the dark.

My eyes don't work the way they used to see,

Straight lines as curves, I watch distorted views;

I cannot tell what's right in front of me.

I look ahead but can't make pole from tree,

The information gathered I can't use;

My eyes don't work the way they used to see.

I have to guess what shapes they ought to be,

From bits and pieces forced in place and glued;

I cannot tell what's right in front of me.

This is a blindness, all must now agree,

Though damage just to one small spot is true;

My eyes don't work the way they used to see.

I'm left to struggle with periphery,

Whose data into sight I cannot fuse;

I cannot tell what's right in front of me.

I was so scared when I first got the news,

To lose my sight my life it then did skew;

My eyes don't work the way they used to see,

I cannot tell what's right in front of me.

[For my mother, who struggles every day.]

#seeahead #challenge #poetry #villanelle #AMD

(c) 2017 Miriam Ruff

The path was clear

clear as far as

the eye could see

But the mind feared

whatever might be

around the bend.

#IcantSeeAhead #Challenge

I was happy.

I was so, so happy.

I was happier than I'd ever been.

But, I was in so deep

That I got tunnel vision.

I thought things would go on like that

Forever.

I couldn't even imagine

That one day

It would fade into nothingness.

Now, here I am

Somewhere I never thought I'd be.

And it hurts.

It hurts to look back on what I had.

It hurts to remember how I felt.

It hurts to understand that it's gone.

I wish I'd known.

I should've expected this to happen.

But, I just couldn't.

I was so happy.

I was so happy with what I had.

And it hurts to know that the feeling is gone.

If I'd been able to see ahead

Maybe I could've changed things.

Maybe things didn't have to end so sourly like this.

Maybe I'd still be happy now.

But, I couldn't see ahead.

I lived happily, so happily

But unknowing of what was to come.

The sadness that would ensue.

The pain I would feel.

And right now

Everything hurts.

This emptiness hurts so much.

The worst part is

I can't look ahead at all

But I can only look back.

A blissful little girl,

in a not-so-blissful world

thinking that she'd

never grow up.

Eyes were bright

but clouded dark

with happiness

that left its mark.

Poor little girl

she didn't know

the ugly world

the masks for show.

All she knew

was laughter

she never knew

that one day

she would be broken

and only know

how to

cry.

Am I blind?

Where am I going?

I can't see my path ahead of me.

My eyes are open.

My heart is heavy.

I hear the sounds ahead of me.

I know there is life ahead.

Where are you?

I can't comprehend my being.

I can't see through the confusion.

My vision is blurred.

There are many paths ahead now.

Though I can't see clearly, I know the path to take.

I can feel you ahead.

I sense you ahead, beckoning me to step forward.

I am not blind but yet I can't see.

I have traveled many miles

and labored many hardships

always knowing where I am going

But in these past few months

I’ve lost sight of that destination

I’ve lost sight of the purpose

of this journey

Sweat build upon my brow

not from the weight of all that I carry but from the lack of knowing

Knowing which direction to go

Knowing that I can see but am blind as to what lays ahead of me

and that is what scares me

Fear of indecision for there is

Not much time we have

Time can’t be spent like a nickel

time has value now

So I stand on the crest of indecision, looking out before

me but see nothing, no sight of future, no sign of hope

Sweat dripping

Hands clammy

Breath short

Head spinning

Desperate

Can't see

Need to know--

What are you thinking?

Do you hold

Fortune or

My disaster

In your hands?

Wish I could see ahead

Pierce the unknown

Even a whisper slice

Half a sigh

CAN'T

Won't

Don't

I throw my hands in the air

All my chips in the pot

Put all our cards on the table

Winner take all

it’s the fog

suspended above the ground

it’s the ashes

raining down

it’s the brick wall

proudly standing

it’s the cloth tied

round your head

and all in all

you can’t see what you saw

unless you do what you did

and remove the lid

cause broken eyes

don’t work

and fog

distorts

and ashes

land in your blurry eyes

and walls

block

and cloth

blinds

but you have

two hands

so clear the fog,

put on a hat

or glasses,

break down

that wall,

and cut up that cloth

for the people whose eyes

don’t

see it