Cloning Machine Discovered 

Only Decent Human Beings Apply.

(certain restrictions required)

1. You must be able to contribute to society. Do something that matters to help people. 

2. You must be smart. Like Mensa material smart. Top 98th percentile.

3. You must NOT be a alcoholic or drug user.

4. You must NOT be a criminal. No arrests. No citations.

5. You must be ethical. You must know right from wrong.

6. You must be positive. Be optimistic.

7. You must be a strong communicator. Use your words.

8. You must be brave. Be courageous.

9. You must be confident. Even cocky if need be. 

10. You must NOT be a bully. No intimidating others.

If you DO NOT meet ALL 10 of these requirement, don't bother applying.

Cloning is a privilege. Not a right.

Current date- 11/23/2311. I remember it like it was just yesterday, the day that I stumbled upon the greatest threat to humans right now- the clones.

Back to November 23, 2017....

I was in my third year of cloning research at The Secret Government Location of Sector IV somewhere in the middle central desert land area. The main head of the project told the team that whoever came with a breakthrough would be changing lives of human life for all time.

As a crazy determined female scientist, I wanted to be the one to find the best way to go about cloning humans. My name would go down in history. Little did I know that my great passion would lead to a devastating threat of the same lives of humans for good.

I stayed up late a lot of nights trying to create a cloning machine, but my first vegetable cloning experiment went horribly wrong. It came out of the machine too rotten to be eaten by any human. Not even my pet pigs at my great-grandparents house would be able to stomach such an atrocity.

One night as I walked down the laboratory corridors- I found a door that was labeled as the genetics lab 1.0.Q.C. Hmmm, I wondered what was in the room.... How did I never see this door before?

I tried the door of the room and just my luck- it was open.

When I walked into the room I noticed a giant white sheet covering something enormous. My heart was beating out of control. I pulled the sheet and could not believe my eyes. There was a cloning machine right before my very eyes.

I ran like a thief to my lab an moved my work to the cloning machinee. I pressed the green button and waited to see if anything happened. There was a beeping noise and the machine shook like a washing machine. Then it spoke: I am the cloning machine 1.0.Q.C. Please, place your object to be cloned right in the cloning chamber.

I laughed so loud that I even heard an echo of it a few seconds later.

My hands were shaking as I placed yet another vegetable in the cloning device. The machine chamber door closed and there was a bright flashing red light.

For some reason, the machine gave me an error. Then I had an idea- it might only clone humans. Obviously. Hahah.

I took one step and a giant leap into the machine. Then the door shut and I closed my eyes. And hoped that I woud be alive to see this cloning machine work.

I stepped out and touched my face and checked to see if my whole body was still intact. Okay. Great. I looked behind me and what I saw nearly gave me a fright. It was like looking right in a mirror- except my clone seemed to not be alive. Untill I saw it blink. It reached out it's hand and grabbed my by the neck. I started choking and I thought that was how I was going to die.

Later, I found myself strapped to a chair and still in the same old lab with no one else in sight. I felt like my cloning experiment was planning something. But what?

I screamed for help. Seconds passed, then minutes turned into hours. The entire block was dead silent. I was uneasy and started wiggling & shaking myself out of my seat.

I was able to free my hands out of the tight rope grip, and then I untied my feet and chest as well. I ran towards the door and looked for everyone in the secret land base.

As I drew closer towards the main dining area- I spotted my clone. It looked like it was upto no good. I had a gut feeling that there was something it was planning for sure.

Then I saw what I, I mean it, was doing. It was pushing a load of unconscious bodies to the cloning machine. "Oh no!" I exclaimed. I think I knew exactly what it was doing.

I followed it to make sure my hunch was dead wrong. But as I saw it place all bodies one after another into the machine, and a clone later took the real person's place. How was I going to stop this madness?

I dashed to the communication room and made an alert call to the other sections of the base. I almost screamed as I heard a response call that said: "Everything was all under control."

It must have been the clones. They had taken over the entire base.

The clones kept me as their hostage, but I escaped in an army van all across the desert base and luckily found myself back in the city.

I warned people in the city about the clones- most people thought I was out of my mind. To my worst nightmare, the clones started replacing people in the city with identical clones. I could hardly tell anymore if all other humans were destroyed, or a clone now.

And right in our present moment in time, 11/23/2311- I found a resistance of humans and some good clones. We try our best everyday to fight the clones from taking over the entire planet Earth.

#Clones

#TheCloningMachine

Wonder of wonders a cloning machine

Do you understand what this will mean

Your crush rejects you, it's not a big deal

Print out a copy, take them for a meal

Your kid misbehaves, acts like a brat

Toss them away, start over from scratch

Those are some options, others might try

Me, I'd destroy it and watch them all cry

So, here's a fresh new take.

As an individual with immeasurable self-esteem, I would choose to clone myself.

Just once, to start.

I wouldn't do it for any practical reason, no.

I would do it so I could actually make out with myself.

Because I have no insecurities and I love everything about the person I am.

Ive done it! I have invented the mechine of the century! The cloneing machine(untill i invent the time machine of corse). Now people can make mindless drones that do anything there master wants at a simple command. Lets give it a try! I have cloned my next dooe neighbor by simply using one little pice of her hair. it really is that simple. Now lets see I think Im hungry for a sandwich. sandra go make me a sandwich."yes master" ok thank you sandra. so as you can see she is going to go make me a sandwich. oh look shes back already. Mmmmm lets have a bite shall we. Plah! what... what is this sandra? "Its a sand wich just like you asked for" Nooooo sandra a sandwich is two pices of bread with some bolony in the middle not with actual sand in it. where did you get this sand any way?" from the cat box sir"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhr oh gosh I need to bath my mouth in soup oh no do you mean the litter box! "yes sir" oraaaa! Ok lets try somthing else hmmmmmmmmmmm.... oh ive got it why dont you play us a song on the piano over there."ok master"biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinggggggg boooooooooooong" sandra stop stop" did I do somthing wrong master sir" yes what was that?"it was a song on the piano". That was no song god this was a mistake i should never had made you i wish you would just disapear. "ok master sir" Wait sandra where are you going? SAAAANNNNNDDRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

We test it out a few times of course but then we send it and plenty of raw materials to the Mars, forget long arduous space travel, beam an exact copy of yourself to the red planet at the speed of light. It will save years and billions of dollars we can invest elsewhere. Mars, the clone planet of the future. Reserve your clone's spot today.

May I not be the best, but am I the worst?

I couldn't be, not after what's happened now?

Yes, for they should realize for their blood I thirst,

And, I know not how, but I shall make them pay somehow,

That for with this wonderous machination,

I shall pave their way to just repentence,

They damned me with fallacious divinations,

And they have yet met their comeuppance,

With this thing that allows to incessantly clone,

This vengeance is no longer too far for conquer,

I may even ponder the salvation of those unknown,

Yes, with me in power everyone will have concurred,

I am the righteous, I am the very justice withheld,

From one and from all, from everyone such like me,

From the pitiest of heavens to the scorchest hells,

I shall reign supremely, none will question continuity,

MY clones, me, yes, the glorious, vile human as I,

Will exude their wills, the desires, the barbaric lust,

And none will squander, none will doubt why,

As I am king! As king I must be avaraicious!

As man, I must be therefore humble in accord,

My past is not something that will stay hidden,

But it's revelation is still able to be afforded,

Otherwise, my army of one persons will steadfasten.

All those who hereby fail to abide,

Will end up lost, evaporated,

In my arms where they have died,

It's body left mangled and desecrated,

Oh! magnificent race of copies,

Come now to my helpless aid,

Let's no longer wonder through corpses,

And hasten towards my dreamt of day.

With this new power,

We'll crush the cowards,

When time dons another hour,

We will chant all the louder!

A machine, able to clone humans, sits there,

seemingly innocent.

This place is overcrowded as it is.

Throw it away,

because what can be gained from less reserves.

Dusty grey and dark red stain us.

The smell of Smoke and the taste of nothing

lingers on our lifeless, tired and weary lives.

If I discovered a machine that could clone humans, I would sell cloned bodies for all kinds of purposes (e.g., organ transplants, scientific research, clone army, etc.). I would live like a king, using the money to fend off any human rights groups and their lawsuits while also funding my private clone security force, which guards Clone Island.

Meanwhile, I am throwing every dollar I can at scientific research on learning how to transfer conciousness between bodies. I don't care if it's biological (e.g., Avatar) or via the mind being downloaded into a device which can then be transferred to a new body. Whatever; just figure out how to do it.

From there, I achieve the closest approximation of immortality that I can via having plenty of backup bodies in multiple locations, along with multiple backups of my mind, updated as often as possible to minimize memory loss in the event of my death. I then make even more money selling my upgraded clones with the new consciousness transferral technology to everyone who doesn't want to die sheathed in the meat prison they were born into (i.e., everyone; starting with the wealthy in exchange for ludicrous amounts of money).

Having become the founder of a company that essentially brokers immortality, I then use my financial assets to fund scientific research on space travel and terraforming. I aggressively further efforts to establish permanent colonies in our solar system. I store more bodies and more backups of my mind in secret locations on multiple planets, as well as providing this service to others for stupid amounts of money.

Prior to achieving practical interstallar space travel, I fund development of automated cloning/mind shifting devices which I launch into space as arks in the hopes of just getting lucky. Once adequate space travel exists, we take it up a level and just seed planets left and right,willy nilly, with fully armed clone development facilities, stocked with the minds of scientists, engineers, and a lot of soldiers. Terraform as needed and repeat the process once a colony has become stable and self-sustaining.

Like the ripples from a stone cast into a pond, my reach, along with my godchild (i.e., humanity), will extend farther and farther into the cosmos. My minds and bodies will be spread far and wide, hopefully developing into some sort of massive hive mind, further ensuring my eternal life. Finally, mankind begins its true work: developing forms that are able to live beyond the physical limitations of the known universe, ensuring our survival after even the inevitable death of creation itself.