Loving you was never easy.

I imagined a future with you,

and I can no longer see one without you in it.

There comes a time when you and I become synonymous,

everything revolves around us.

Loving you was the easiest thing I have ever done.

I could listen to your voice for the rest of my life.

Waking up without you

is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Love is supposed to be easy.

Love hurts.

The future is going to happen

regardless.

As I awake, I find myself in the middle of nowhere. All I can hear is the rustling of fresh leaves against eachother. How did I get here? I arise to my aching feet and take a few steps. After looking around my environment, I stuffed my hands in every one of my pockets.Where’s my phone? With no plan of how to escape this maze full of dark colors, I began to walk one direction. I will eventually get out of here. My clothes were hurenously dirty–one reason why I found nature dreadful. I abruptly stopped as I heard something moving around in the nearest bush. My heart began to rapidly leap out of my chest. Out popped an adorable, little bunny. There’s no threat here. With every step I took, I began to notice the millions of shades of greens, browns, grays, and reds spread throughout nature. I grew tired of walking and that’s when I found this tree stump. I’ve spent two hours just sitting here enjoying my surroundings. This is not in the middle of nowhere. This is the middle of my soul, mind, and heart.

.

~ ~

one ~ tiny

flower picked

just for you

to let you

know

that

i am

t ha n

k f u

l

~

f

o

r

~

y

o

u

~

to all

of you

who take

the

time

to read,

repost

and

like

my

rhyme,

i

thank

you

most

sincerely,

with

a

piece

of

artful

poetry

i have only ever been able to

love you under the moon

imagine what it would have

looked like in the sun

Instagram: auroraraine_poetry

#love #lovepoem #wordsonpaper #heartbreak #heartache #heart #loss #sun #moon

Two years ago, I got in the ring with death.

I knocked him out in round one, all bark no bite.

Last year, I got in the ring with pride.

We went twelve rounds, and the canvas was drenched in both our blood by the time his face slammed into it.

Yet he fell.

This year, I’m getting in the ring with fear, and he failed to intimidate me at weigh in.

When the doctor confirmed you had cancer for the first time,

mom and I were driving the two hours home from Lincoln.

I asked her to pull over to the side of the road.

The windshield wipers could hardly keep up with the rain

and each word that left her mouth fell limp in the air.

When you called last week to tell me it had returned,

I could hear mom’s voice in my own

and I opened my bedroom window to the

negative temperatures of winter to keep

my words from pooling themselves around my feet.

What gets me up in the morning when there’s nothing to live for? That is a question that I stopped thinking about long ago. When I wake up in the morning I think of all the little things in my life that I am grateful for or that I look forward to doing throughout the day. A few years ago, I would have said that the only reason I wake up is to move on to a different stage of my life. Well, that and that my mom would be sad if I didn’t. The last time I told my parents that I wanted to kill myself, they made me sit in front of them while the both of them were in tears and they lectured me on why I shouldn’t. That moment scared the shit out of me. It made me never want to tell them that ever again. It also made me think of the tears falling down their cheeks everytime I had those bad thoughts again.

Their tears weren’t what kept me going. What kept me going was something that my dad said through his tears, “There will be better days, but if you give up now you will never get to see them.”

It was something that my grandmother told me when we were baking together, “You know people always say that high school is the best few years of your life. I kept thinking to myself, if that’s true then I may as well die right now. I didn’t though and look where it got me. I have you.”

Now, I wake up every morning and I think about what the day will hold. It doesn’t matter that about 99.9% of the things that I think about never happen. What matters is that I am making plans for my future. Even if my future is just a couple of hours from now.

I used to wake up and think, It’s just a matter of time. Soon I will be dead and I won’t have to worry about life anymore. What a terrible way to wake up. It is a blessing to see the frost cover the branches of a tree. It is a blessing to hear somebody laugh their real laugh. It is a blessing to see somebody smile at the love of their life. It is a blessing to take a deep breath and smell that first day of spring. It is a blessing to to keep living. So keep living. Soon you’ll wake up and you will notice the small things and you will be so happy that you chose to stay alive to see them.

#Live

#Happy

#Laugh

#StayAlive

Happiness has been gone for a long time. She’s a long lost friend that I constantly miss and think about. I see my friend sometimes. I remember what it’s like to be with her, but I never really get the same feeling back.

I remember Happiness when I am walking outside. The changing of the leaves reminds me of her. I see her when I watch children playing on the jungle gym. I see her when I watch boys ask girls to prom. I see her all the time, but she isn’t with me. I understand that it’s hard to be with everybody when there’s over 7 billion people on this earth. That isn’t including all of the animals that deserve Happiness to.

Sometimes I think that she has forgotten about me, that she has moved on to more important things to focus on. That’s the thing about Happiness. She is so busy all the time, but she always makes time to visit me, even if she can’t stay as long as I’d like. She visited me recently, but left soon after her arrival. I love that warm feeling inside my chest when I am with her.

Happiness introduced me to Love. See Love is two-faced. Love will make you feel so good sometimes. Love will give you an even better feeling than Happiness can. Love makes your chest expand and feel like it’s going to explode, but in a good way. Love can also hurt you. Love can hurt you so bad that it seems like Happiness will completely have forgotten about you. Then Love comes in a new form and reminds you that Love is not just romantic. It is friendship and companionship too. Love shows me animals that I want to cuddle for as long as I am on this world.

Love introduces me to people that care for me so much that I forget when Love introduced me to Depression and Anxiety. Love is two-faced. Love will give you these amazing things, but once Happiness arrives at the party, Love gets jealous. Then Love steals away the things that you need. Love hires two hitmen; Depression and Anxiety. They kill Happiness. They take away everything that Love showed you. They make you stay under your covers until it feels like you’re suffocating. They will make you feel like Happiness has forgotten to pay you a visit. In reality they are fighting to keep her away from you.

You shouldn’t worry. Happiness is a badass. She will keep fighting every day. Eventually she will reach you. Eventually, she’ll stay with you forever instead of leaving. Love will come back and Happiness will negotiate with Love to be kind to you. Happiness will be your knight in shining armour whenever Depression and Anxiety try to come back. Happiness will show you how to use Love to find yourself. She will tell you how to spread her through the world. You should listen to what she has to say.

#Happiness

#Live

#Positive

#BeHappy

#Smile

#Love