What a fool is a man who inquires,

"Where can I find happiness?"

As his child slumbers in his arms,

Yet we are all dense, hypocrites,

For who among us ages untainted?

Blame entertains two parties minimum,

We often hold the antidote; truth

Yet most let it spoil, sit unused,

Unwilling to waiver infectious appetite,

Truth sets free only those who seek,

Habitual creatures scurry deeper,

Quaffing toxins, fantasies ruminated,

Knowledge scours blinding hot,

Searing throes, but begetting sage wights,

Muscle accrued moiling limits,

Pressure induces reform,

Holding back increases tension,

Though forsaken, verity will ascent victor.

If I was your

Do or die, your ocean eyes,

Or the spring in your step

If I was the

Truth in lies, the worst of times

Your safest bet

I thought maybe you’d love me, yet

My mom used to work in hospitals and nursing homes. Long shifts. Heavy lifting. Clean-up in Room 3. Spilled-guts. Spilled-bowels. Spilled-bladder. Spilled-blood. Human-spill. Spill-spillage. She’d come home to house, nighttime-still. She’d come home to pass-out, lack of sleep. Stumble down stairs, wash away fluids. Wash away E. Coli. Wash away sweat. Wash away death-stench. Pass-out lack of sleep. Repeat, next day. Lift-up crying. Lift-up disease. Lift-up dying. Lift-up human-spillage. Repeat. Lift-up human-spillage. Repeat. The babies never had a chance. Twins. Fallopian-tube, burst. Platelet, internal-vein explosion. Ghost-bleeding. Phantom-bleeding. Insides-bleeding. Also known as hemorrhage. Also known as dying. Also known as 8 hours screaming/fainting/shaking pain. Also known as doctor-induced abort mission. Ride or die. Abort mission or sleep-eternal. No blood left. So I could hold two still-borns. One mass explosion. The other clump of tadpole-mess. Save the unborn. Send the living home. Follow the plan. Return home. Spare the rod, spoil the child. Kill the mother, spare the child. Or spoon-scrape cervix. Tissue-removal. Tissue-removal. And I wake every day thanking the doctor that left her blood-cup-half-full. Pray to false god of saving lives. Return me home. Return me home.

Why on Earth do you believe in me?

I’m just this mess that can’t leave bed

This mess with no brain in her head

The mess that does not comb her hair, go outside, or seem to care?

The one who doesn’t eat or sleep

or think or dream

or hope or weep.

Why?

Did God say I could be saved too?

Do all your church friends praise you?

Is that what God told you to do?

Why?

Do you feel obligated to see that I am fed

and clean

alive not dead?

Do you just want me out of bed?

Why?

I waste my life away, you say

because I’m sad inside you say

Go outside and face the day

Just try something new, okay?

Okay.

Try something new too.

You’re sad too and I can see

It’s because of me, you see

I cannot get away from me

and my intrusive thoughts

So you’re wasting precious energy

Trying to spend time with me

And save a mind that has escaped

from any hopeful place

So you might have to face the fact

that I might never come back and that

This taxes your mind and body and soul

and sometimes you need to let go.

Try something new and let go.

I was young, I didn’t know any better

But you said I’m yours and you said forever

The first arms to hold me, the first lips to kiss me goodnight

And I know you only left to do what was right

Sure I was young, I didn’t know any better

But you said you’re mine, and you said forever

So where are you now Daddy, I know they need you but so do I

I know you said to be strong, but I just want to cry

Sure I was young, I didn't know any better

But you said we’ll be together and you said forever

I put my faith in you because you were always so strong

I was sure you would come back to me but I guess I was wrong

Sure I was young I didn’t know any better

But now I’m all grown up and I don’t beleive in forever

It’s true that I liked her.

My heart fluttered,

My words tripped when I talked to her,

And I looked forward to seeing her everyday.

One day,

We planned to eat together,

And she introduced me to her friends.

Nice girls, the both of them.

But one of them was especially

Special.

Her eyes smiled in a way that

Made my heart skip a beat.

She would tilt her head,

Laugh,

And she was

Beautiful.

I still liked her though.

I might’ve engaged in conversation

With her friend, at times.

But I was still hers.

Over time,

We all became closer.

Except,

For the two of us.

We were always

Awkward,

But it was a

Beginner’s kind of awkward.

Now, we began to drift.

And,

We just became

Silent.

...

Things happened that way.

Some things just don’t go

The way you planned

Or the way you would imagine.

But what happened to me,

Was that,

We naturally grew apart.

While we became closer.

And it wasn’t a bad parting.

We mutually agreed things were just

Not working.

And we decided to take it slow.

Obviously, we wouldn’t make any

Kind of move

Any time soon.

We were all still friends.

But as time passed,

And we made new relationships,

And grew as individuals,

We went on our own respective paths.

My path

Looked scattered before.

Blurry even.

But the fog cleared. Eventually.

Some relationships may fade.

But it’s okay.

We grow.

And that’s just okay.