Sometimes I think

I’ve lived too long -

a thousand years

of turmoil

engraved

on my skin.

Layers of light

rising out of reach,

interlaced thoughts

obscured by fog.

Coldness cleaving

to my soul

in icy daggers.

I look within

and see beginnings

of precious times

still to come -

the future pulses

within my heartbeat

as I feel warmth

of liquid sun

rebounding in waves

of promise.

Our love leaks through mist

falls through the cracks of

Heaven’s tapestry of stars.

Stardust flows through veins

bleeds through heartbeats

courses through universe

like a ruffled breeze in water

hiding shyly from sunshine.

Illuminating night sky

with flashlights of peace.

Stardust sprinkles our skin

and dusts our eyelashes

links our lips with sparkles

cosmos in our crevices.

Sustenance of stars.

I do not understand why you look at me like that.

Why you pretend I am not there until you have no one else to turn to.

I do not understand why I am your last resort.

I know kind people, funny people, rude people, interesting people, odd people, tall people, small people.

I do not understand why we are all different.

I do not understand why you do not love this.

Our differences are what make us human.

I do not understand why you think this is wrong.

Welcome to the world, welcome to the generation of change, welcome to the time of accepting, welcome to the world.

Perhaps it’s because your eyes are the calm that fog brings when it settles after a storm.

Perhaps it’s because your kisses are the confidence the mirror tries to steal from me every morning.

Perhaps it’s because your embrace holds me tight enough to pop all my broken pieces back into place.

Perhaps it’s because your voice is sunbeams coming through a stained glass window.

Perhaps it’s because the idea of you gives me enough hope to pull through until we meet.

From the fog,

The voices called.

All strangely compelling,

none quite human,

They creep and crawl about,

Wraiths pulled from the past,

Swirling deep behind the could bank,

Their voices call to me,

They know the trap is sprung,

My wandering heart,

Won.

Their cold, damp, arms reach out to me,

Dripping with gauzy fog,

Their eyeless  piercing gaze,

Their all perceiving gaze.

Reaches down, deep, dark,

Inside.

Their magnetic force draws me,

But as all things that attract so strongly,

might soon repel me.

I reach as a child to the pale reflection

Of the moon,

The purest painting.

But, as the breath of some living thing

Brushes against the water,

The moon shivers,

The voices quiver,

The spell is broken,

I sit back on my heals,

Strangely attracted but definitely repelled.

I know why, 

My wandering heart was searching for heaven,

Not hell.

Time lost all vestiges of me

as the fog crept into the land,

icicles of my heart formed

as phantom voices crooned,

transparency embraced

the absence of reason,

negligees of evening

uncoiled in lashed warnings,

naked eyes seeing, yet unseen,

masked ghosts along mossy earth,

smoke tendrils disguising the sun,

vines of spiraled thoughts,

broken heart of wanderlust moon,

negative forces swathing my world.

Come to me and touch me I implore

but I can’t see them in smothered soup,

echo chambers silenced by apparitions of

smoke and vapors – shadowed reminders

of muted shores and unknown spirits

Oh swallow me! Oh swallow me!

I can no longer fight that which

            envelops me.

Magic starship ride

As asteroids pass us by

But we are way too high

On smoke and mystified

By the stars blinking eyes

And we are getting by

So through the belts we fly

Mischief in the sky

     You know, you're pretty lucky to have stumbled upon this letter, this parchment made fragile by the weight it happens to carry. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Mr. Bones-in-the-ground, Dr. Ashes-in-the-wind. As far as you're concerned, having read this far, you want to know what this letter might give you. The truth is that I don't know. Who does when it comes to life? Eighty-eight years on the road and there's no looking back, so the only thing I can give is what I drove by, what I hit, and where the top rolled down and the air lifted me from my seat and made me free.

     You know, at this moment, I can only think of three things, three phrases of wisdom that might benefit any (or most) individuals. Without further ado, here's my first tidbit: look to the stars and realize that you are amongst them. I used to do this as a child, but only the former. The latter came as I started what the arabs call 'Aaql, or, in short, competence. Whether we realize it or not, we dance everyday whether we like it or not. We spin with the Earth, the Earth spins with the Sun, the Sun spins with the Galaxy (or what ever other intermediate there is), and the Galaxy itself spins with it's siblings in the darkness. They keep dancing, as if they weren't being watched. They don't stop dancing, they carry on. Much like us. We are amongst the stars. Don't you dare forget it.

     The second thing that comes to mind didn't hit me until I was married. Keep falling in love until someone falls with you. The idea is to never ever NOT have a muse that brings out the best in you. The one who is right for you is the one who makes you go out and do something so extraordinary that you have to upstage yourself every single day until you find yourself trying to crush coal in your hands to make a diamond for them. It's the love of your life that tells you to stop, and that their name on the Moon was enough for them to fall for you.

     My last bit of advice is___________/

I am sorry, I am getting weaker, I'm afraid I do not have much time left. It's ironic, because I have plenty of

I see the apple rivulet

tasting your necklace

Head bowed

Arms suspended

You slowly pick up the soft

postcard 

Words jumping in your eyes

You rewrite the dark swirls

Fallen juice box on the rug

Trailing echoes on the page

Questions rushing by

Through my mind

Through my heart

In and out

In and out

Why?

How?

Is it real?

What do I want?

What do I need?

Am I happy

Or just content?