All of the saddest things are here. They fill the walls and spill out from under the pages. They cover the darkness and hold open your eyes. There’s nothing but black. There’s an absence more immense than the darkness. You’re holding on and letting go, and you’re not sure which. Stumbling and floating. And it’s all numb. And it’s all pressure. You can feel the energy of all of the memories. You may have broken it. You may not fix it. And you can feel all of the wrong choices. You can feel your heart touching the air when it should be in its cage. It’s being swallowed. It’s smothering. It’s drowning. It’s razing. It’s an ebb and flood. There is darkness. There is sadness. There are wet eyes and dry ones. There are closed lungs and torn apart hearts. And there is darkness. And there is sadness. Dancing. And growing. And in the distance, a deep glow. If you could only reach it. There is ebb, and there is flood. And that glow. If you could only reach it. Until it is smothering. And if you could only reach it. The glowing ebb of a flood. Strangling your breath. But for the glow. If you could only reach it.

I am stuck

looking at your eyes

looking at you wanting

to kiss you.

wanting to hold you tight

and never let go.

but looking back

thinking of your cold eyes

when I got hurt

and now I am left

with the scars to heal

but memories that just hurt

and to put me into a depression

feeling like right now,

that leave me falling to my death

something that is just so wrong

you let him fall.

There is stagnant, noiseless still.

It is a silent, internal chaos that I am barely managing to control.

I need to know what comes next.

I need to know if it was just a momentary dream turned reality.

I can’t find my next step.

I don’t know which map I’m trying to follow.

I don’t know if I’m trying to make a home of an island or take to the skies.

Am I flying or stalling.

I know that I’m falling.

Slipping.

Missing.

You and me.

Missing you.

Missing me.

But mostly just tripping.

Mostly, I’m missing.

Me.

Like mostly I’m missing.

Like mostly.

You make me miss you and me.

And is it the skies or is it the sea.

She takes a deep breath...

He moves with stealth..

Her date leans in for a kiss

She turns her head rapidly

He steps back~

blinks for a moment-

And she blushes.

He nods his head~

She is not going to make this easy,

They´ll have to move steady.

He leads her to a table...

once she is seated she pulls out a book,

from her handbag,

He pulls out one too, from his briefcase..

They soon have their dinner

He takes her back home at the end

She gives him a kiss on the cheek

He smiles and waves goodbye

Then he sighs, now he feels nervous...

Would she say yes to another date?

#Naturalistic.

Some days I remember how I tattooed you across my lungs.

It’s then that I know why I can rarely breathe.

It’s then that I know the oxygen never hits my bloodstream.

Stops just short,

catching on your fingertips.

Burning and branding instead of filling and spilling.

It’s then that I remember how you’ll be choking me from inside, eternally.

Never letting me catch my breath.

Always just shy of full.

And now I breathe shallow,

just like you.

Diamond dew earrings

strung on blades of damp grasses

dressed up for morning.

* * * * * * * * *

Don't let getting one object control your life

Find happiness in what you want to do in your life

Don't follow people that don't deserve you

Succeed in your lifetime without people or objects holding you back

"If you want a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or objects."

~Albert Einstein

Hear The waves crashing against the sand

See the Golden brown sand

Smell the salty ocean

Hear the people laughing

See The boats in the distance

Smell the delicious food.