Today’s cocktail of chemicals and apathy

brought me to skinned knees and compressed headaches

with today’s lost marbles

rolling all over the shop

but the will to suffer morning’s snarling bully

is fodder enough for me to wake up with a determined pulse

driven by an insatiable appetite to not self destruct

and I will clamp down upon your ignorant notions

that I try to bury in pharmaceutical haze

Whatever I was

is being erased

and written over

with rage and anger,

bitterness and resentment,

all love has become hatred,

all hope has become vengeance,

all that I was

has become death.

triangles of tissue paper

held upside down and

held between two fingers

like a dying bird

you have become the most

ordinary version of yourself,

the one who can bend into

a high street kind of shape

when did being human

become important to you

brown paper bag souls

sold by the pound on the

street corner by your house

the world is simple when

you make yourself simple

but the divide becomes

ever clearer, the illusion

rats living in the world's

most glamorous sewer

gnawing on bones, rags,

tissue paper, and souls

until they can no longer

remember the warmth

of their own sun

His fingers are made of charcoal

Everything he touches

Soiled black

Stark contrast

To a world

Laden in grey.

But he sees the world

In primary color

Layers of acrylic

And oil

Recasting each blemish

With imagination and brushstroke.

I am an observer

I talk

But I mainly watch

I observe

I do have friends

But sometimes I just stop talking

I start listening instead

Listening doesn't take as much energy

I notice the things you don't

I notice when someone wants to get out of a conversation

I notice when someone is holding back tears

I know when someone is disappointed

Whether I hear it

Or simply see it on your face

I can promise you this

I

Notice

It

I do not sleep enough

December 09, 2024

I do not sleep enough.

Between two jobs, I usually sleep 30 hours a week.

It seems to be enough to get by.

It is never enough to thrive.

I do not sleep enough.

I don't make careless mistakes when deprived.

But, I do miss opportunities.

Too much time at work, not enough at home.

I do not sleep enough.

The simple act of nothing.

Comfortably falling.

Releasing all worries, pains, and problems.

I do not sleep enough.

But I will, someday.

By then, my friends will have thought I died.

At that point, they may be right.

Pearl Harbor

December 07, 2024

Few (if any) are alive that actually witnessed the event.

But all should never forget it happened.

Show weakness

Act indifferent

Display apathy

Permit evil to fester

Permit evil to grow

And watch your world go up in flames