Self harm
They warned us about the
Lines of white powder
One would inhale through
Their blood ridden noses,
But they never warned us about
The monsters lurking in the
Darkness of our own minds.
In one swift motion, I slice
The skin on my wrist with
A jagged piece of glass, watching,
waiting for the line of blood
To form in the crease of my
Teared skin.
I have found my release.
Draft
Men blamed feminists for
The protection of women
Being forced into the military.
They are uprising against us
Because now we have no choice
-as if we ever had one-
But to fight along our men.
But I do not fear the men
In turbans who are my "enemies."
I fear the men who will be standing
By side, the men who will watch me,
The men who will know where I sleep,
The men who are protected from the
Law and who are never held accountable
For their actions. I fear the men in
Uniforms like me because my chances
Of being raped by my fellow brothers in
Arms is higher than my actual death.
Men blamed feminists and now
Women will be drafted into the war.
They congratulate their system when they
Are the ones who built the broken
System. They are the ones who kept
Women from protecting their country
When all we wanted was to help.
But truly, a war that forces people to serve
Is not a war worth fighting for.
Under the Shining Star
The beat up, old station wagon drove down the road, the driver carefully watching for ice.
"You missed your turn." Chad said from the back seat. "You were supose to turn on Wise street."
"The GPS shows me turning on the next street." Amy replied from the drivers seat.
"The GPS updates slow. You missed your turn." Chad said, "Tell her Donny."
Donny sighed. "He is right babe. We missed the turn."
"The GPS says..."
"Recalculating— make a u-turn and proceed to the planned route."
"Dang it! I can't make a u-turn you stupid machine. There is a snow drift in the way."
"You should have let me drive." Chad said.
"Not helping." Donny said. "Here babe, pull over and hand me the GPS. I'll find us a way."
"Fine." She said, pulling the car over. "Hurry though, Mary is having her first baby and I want to be there." Amy put the car in park. "You grabbed the gift, didn't you, Chad?"
"Yeah," Chad said. "but what does a baby need with insence?"
"Insence?" Amy turned around. "You grabbed the blue bag, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Chad said holding up a purple bag. "I'm not stupid."
"You idiot!" She punched him in the shoulder.
"Oww! Stop it!" He shielded himself with the bag. "Don, your wife is hitting me."
"Dear," Donny said, not bothering to look up. "stop hitting my brother."
"No, he deserves it. I spend three weeks searching for the perfect baby gift and he leaves it behind." Amy socked Chad in the arm one more time. "What do we do now? We can't give them frankincense and myre."
"And gold." Chas added.
"Gold?"
Chad pulled a handful of chocolate gold coins from the bag.
There was a knock on the window.
"Ahh!" Incense flew everywhere.
Donny rolled the window down.
"Don't be afraid." The officer said. "Let me guess, you're looking for the hospital."
"Yes sir, our friend is having a baby."
"She picked quite a night for it. You don't need that infernal contraption. End of the block. Turn right. Follow the shining star. That easy."
"Thanks Officer."
"No problem at all. Merry Christmas."
"You too."
Donny rolled the window up as the officer walked away. "You get that?"
"Yup." Said Amy, starting the car forward.
"What kind of directions were those, 'follow the shining star'? Oh—"
As they turned the corner the street glowed in the light of the star that sat atop the hospital.
They drove down, circled the parking lot twice without finding a spot, and finally pulled into a lot across the street.
"It is packed." Donny said.
They waited for a horse drawn carriage to go by before crossing the street.
"Poor horse was limping." Amy said.
They entered the hospital and took the elevator to the delivery floor. The doors opened.
"Dear God." Amy said.
Pregnant ladies filled the waiting room. Impatient husbands paced nervously, bumping into eachother.
Donny went up to the desk. "Excuse me."
A frazzled nurse looked up. "Please tell me you are not checking in."
"Just looking for my friends, Mary and Joe."
She type the names into the computer. "I'm sorry I don't have anyone by that name."
"Donny," Amy grabbed his arm pulling him back towards the elevators. "Max Sheperd just texted. They are in the ER because of overflow."
"As they stepped into the elevator, Chad pressed the first floor button.
The doors opened on ground level.
"What the..." Chad began.
A Clydesdale stood in the lobby all by itself with a bandage around its foreleg.
"Owner must have brought him in. Should we...do something about this?" Donny asked.
"No, we are here to see a baby not wrangle a horse." Amy said. "The ER is this way."
They left the horse, went down the hallway, and found the Sheperd's hovering in a doorway.
"Go on in." Max told them.
Mary had her baby cradled in her arms. Joe sat next to her utterly transfixed by the sleeping baby.
Amy let out a suppressed squeal. "He is adorable."
Max made a startled noise from the hallway.
"What is it?" Joe asked.
Donny stuck his head out the door. "Wow."
The Clydesdale pushed through the door into the small room.
Joe grabbed the baby from merry and sat him down behind him.
"Get it out of here!" Joe yelled.
"It's just a horse." Chad said.
A man in a top hat and a suit ran into the room. "Marmalade, what are you doing wandering off like that?" His eyes took in the crowd. His face flushed. "He is sorry... I am sorry. Uhh... congratulation. Uhm... come on marmalade." He lead the horse from the room.
"Joe," Mary said, "get my newborn son out of that sink."
And that is the story of how Mary and Joe shared their room with livestock while their son slept in a water trough and the Sheperd's and three not so wise people watched, all under the shining star.
Child talk
A parent leaning slowly over the shoulder of their toddler: “Sweetie, please, let’s just go home now… We will be back tomorrow. Mr. Teddy is waiting for us at home, he is lonely…”
“Nn.. No”
“Look, how about this, we are coming back tomorrow morning first hour, and play some more, OK? Now the sun is setting, and you know what that means, right? We need to put Mr. Teddy to bed!”
A slow step forward, and then back.
“No”
“Look, there is no one left here. All the nice children are in bed and they are waiting for…”
“NO”
“Sweetie…”
“NO! NO! NO!”
“OK, how about this? We go home now and I’ll let you watch an episode of your favourite cartoons! Deal?”
A reluctant “A-huh” afterwards, they are slowly driving towards home. Baby steps.
Moral of the story: Who got what they wanted?
Daybreak
Daybreak, and your voice is a lingering breath
your presence is an imprint warming
my now orphaned breasts
the lightning still flickers and taps
maddening code from brain to heart
Daybreak, and shadows are chased
to their beckoning corner
your stormy eyes are studies in fever-pitch
your irresistible, irrepressible mouth
a smeared fire-engine stain
do we accuse my own love-swollen lips?
Daybreak, and the silence is infinite
you pretend at nonchalance
but your beautiful hands tell another story
you are near enough to touch
and all the more distant
Daybreak, and we are already spent
ruptured to opposite ends of the room
backs bidding one another farewell
the door is now salvation, resolute
leaving me was always a hollow threat
you will make good on old promises.
Daybreak, and I capitulate
among the splinters of our heartbreak
you have departed without remorse
my will crushed in your dilapidated suitcase
as you feign the lightness in your step
In response to @Firdaus poem "Midnight". Link to original post:
https://theprose.com/post/116832/midnight
Eternal Sunshine .....
When I first met you, we were sitting in a room full of smiles. I asked, "is this the smile room, is this where smiles happen?" You have so many options, and so many opportunities, and all I can do is think I'd be stupid not to spend my life trying to get you to smile. When we, people, say we "ought" to do something, it implies that I can, and I cannot. And, I can or I cannot make myself everything you want and/or need. When you hurt, I have a reflex like it's ok let me kiss it let me make it better. You're the best person for me, in my eyes, along with my Father's. You shake his hand, and I swear you bring about the biggest smile hiding underneath his beard, he looks as if he's shaking hands with happiness. When I'm not able to see you, my sign of missing you is in my bones, I can feel them all sigh at once --- as if in unison. My heart was once broken, but you put some butter on it --- and, don't we put butter on warm things? Before you, I was a wolf in girl's clothing. I never listened to the general rule of thumb, and I'd say things to myself that I wouldn't say to someone else. I was trying to pull myself out of depths I thought I'd never reach. And, oh, God, I'm calling you my grace of God, because nothing like this has ever happened to me by chance, I think we happened by fate. You show me how to be determined, because being determined is something I forgot. And, oh, God, it's just so nice to hear the silk of your laugh, wrapping around me, like it hugs my skin perfectly --- the fabric of my life. We, both, were once broken, and we can't cure each other, but we can help with the symptoms, and be each other's antibiotic for life. Your happiness is the single most important thing to me. It's been raining for hours, and I can't stop feeling. It's raining hard, and I want to close my eyes and open my hands, and I want to watercolor my palms with the sunset rose glow pavement. My words are juicy, swollen, and filled with passion towards you. I ask you to be gentle with, me, what has been healed. I have a knee jerk reaction to trust and love total strangers, but none of those strangers have the smell of earth after it rains clinging to their clothing and none of those strangers taste like hope --- that's all you. I love you. Your love leaves me lying awake and wondering how I became this lucky. I love hearing people talk about someone they love, and I hope people love hearing the honey pouring over rough wood in my voice when I talk about you. You keep me moving forward. I want to wake up to you every morning, and I don't like to think of someone else touching you, and I hope that'll never be, because that causes a raging sea inside of me. When my hands don't have yours to hold, their homesick for yours. And, I know what I feel for you is the purest, richest, creamiest love. When I'm in your arms, I feel like the moonlight turns into water and bathes us until our skin prunes and we're forced to let go before we turn into raisins. (K.M.M.)