Today is day 8. I'm proud of myself. Nicotine is calling me like an evil Goddess and food sparkles in my eyes. Just call me magpie. I can't help but being drawn towards it.
Wish me luck!
I am me
I am so deeply and thoroughly myself
I am so incredibly complicated and so awesomely complex
It’s one of my favorite things I have grown to see inside of myself
Without a shred of doubt I know that it is too much for most people
I know that I am too much for most people
Which used to make me so sad
So very sad for the way it felt
To feel so completely separated from the world around me
To feel so completely misunderstood by the people that surrounded me
I grew to acknowledge and accept that people didn’t understand me, and that they probably never would
It’s alright with me because it has to be
I need to start exploring and adoring the parts of myself that MAKE ME this way
That make me so AWESOMELY complex, and messy, and messed up, and crazy
I need to stop trying to shove certain parts of myself away and out of the sight of others, and trying to cover up the parts of me that I’m afraid they won’t like, or that they may reject.
I need to give myself credit where it is deserved, and accept the fact that I am UNDENIABLY human..
and that there HAS be room for error
There HAS to be room for flaw....
I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
Because I am brilliantly unique.
And because I am brilliantly me.
the breaths taken between pauses of bruised feet (&heart)
the presence of absence. a longing for someone or something that you remember fondly but know you can never experience again
there's a longing you can't name, you can't describe — it presses against you, in the spaces where the scent of his fingers lingers. it aches in those spots. but you can't do anything but let time pass as flowers bloom and wither and you take your last and first step into the breath of spring. the stain deepens in your heart, a weight lodged in your chest that will not lessen nor go away. a heartburn of memories of his laughter and tender warmth embracing you.
it hurts so much you can't cry, only let out a heavy breath and let the small moments of brightness slowly build up in those spots and hope it will cover the pain.
there's no cure for this longing that blackens a heart and withers it from within. there's only time. and that -- can never be trusted.
It only runs forward and never waits for anyone.
(small hands trying to grab the darkness between the stars. smaller bodies trying to run forward as the world pushes on their shoulders.)
(you are — but a wandering soul (drowning) in a heavy ocean with a broken lighthouse to guide you home)
Beyond the words
Love each other beyond words.
©Chantelle Cherie Lily
Eye of many eyes,
Impossible to me,
Will you ever
Open them to me
E. M. P. T. Y.
So there I was, wind in my hair, sea spraying licking at my lips, standing on the cliff edge.
My life was behind me and my death stretched out before me.
Until I turned and walked away and a new path was created.
honey, colour me in sweet grey tones
you can’t name this type of longing,
this stretching distance
between him and you
it’s undefinable like the colour of the night
that leaves your eyes hungry, breathless
for something darker and deeper
Dog eat dog
Truth eat trust
Mind eat words
Love eat lust
Hand in hand
Deep in shame
Worry in wonder
Regret in blame
Back to back
Heart to chest
Ashes to ashes
Forever to rest
Well Hello There...….
She's hardened from her past.
Her honesty, at times is brutal yet sincere.
Her intellectial side will draw you in then her distinguished traits will capture.
She will leave a lasting impression of being unimpressed.
If you catch her eye know you are bold and deserving.
Her physical form holds true to her inner being, at best.
Her physical form is perceived as unattainable, at worst.
~I’m a gambler at heart, a loser by ratio~