Love has become a rarity

Not a common theme in society

Even friendships are becoming scarce

We are living in an era where we have

Material things but nothing of meaning

A place where sex is a temporary bandage

To cover a gaping hole of loneliness that marks all of us

Getting deeper the further we go on

With toxic patterns that separate

Our ties as human beings and instead

We only have AI for company

Regurgitating lines from old movies

This is an epidemic, that is killing us,

Through the distractions that we use to cope

With being alone, as we ply ourselves silly with drugs,

Hoping that things will change as we do nothing

To change this situation.

It’s as though I can see, but there is a lenses that covers the good in the world and everything is dull and colorless. My body is saying it will carry me, but in the most basic form. Everything is in slow motion. My thoughts are masked with a dark sludge of tar that drags me further down the abysses that seems like the place of no return. I’m trying to grasp onto the rope of hope but my hands keep slipping and farther and farther I fall. Maybe deep down I want to miss the rope, but maybe thats the dark side that wants me to think that. Depression can be a dark place, but it can also feel like a false safe space in a way. You are numbed by everything and nothing matters, you can seclude yourself and be in your own world. But this absorbs you, this takes over you, you don’t want this but you feel like you have no choice. You ask yourself why do I feel like this, what the fuck is wrong with me, when will this end. Maybe I’m vitamin deficient or maybe it is a chemical imbalence, you start googling for answers, but you find yourself down a reddit quora rabbit hole of hearing about others struggles, and maybe thats what I’m doing here now too.

Give me your love.

I’ll never take it.

But if you give it to me,

I’ll give it light and water,

let it grow and glow

its wildflower colors.

Give me your mind.

I’ll never change it.

But if you give it to me,

I’ll listen and learn,

I’ll teach and create,

shower it with cleansing words.

Give me your body.

I’ll never hurt it.

But if you give it to me,

I’ll caress and hold it,

penetrate and envelop it,

guard it from the night.

Give me your heart.

I’ll never break it.

But if you give it to me,

I’ll be gentle with it,

hold it like a butterfly,

let go and let it fly.

Give me your soul.

I’ll never forsake it.

But if you give it to me,

I’ll be in awe,

link it to mine

and let them shine.

Give me your dreams.

I’ll never make them.

But if you give them to me,

I’ll walk beside you,

catch you when you fall,

help you reach them all.

S.G.

Surviving trauma never comes without injury.

Ever.

Diverging from the physical and mental wounds is another.

Something that seems to permeate your very soul.

A polarizing affliction.

A fracture of sorts.

And this new duality becomes your dichotomy.

Pooling into an ocean in which you choose to swim and not drown.

Filled with the memories of the ones who did.

In the hands of abuse,

chained to a lifetime of suffering.

For you to feel power & a temporary ego boost.

Imprisoned in what is now my private fucking hell—

each brick you used, my pain produced.

The horrid things that you did, left me forever changed & bruised.

There’s no breaking away when my mind is a prison, no matter how many screws I loose.

Fallen to the ground, begging the devil, god—

I don’t care who, praying & crying for karma to hand you a personal noose.

Flashbacks of your actions that I drown in—

of the physical, sexual, emotional, & mental abuse.

I would sell my damn soul just to have this torture taken from me & given to you.

There’s a belief that “home” can be found in another individual. At first glance, this may appear to be a heartwarming, predestined happening, worthy of celebration (and it may very well be). However, you must first determine exactly what “home” means to you. This takes honest, intentional objectivity.

If home to you meant a place of acceptance, patience, humor, and unconditional love, then you are truly blessed. By all means, rejoice in your newfound connection and disregard what I am about to say. This is for the others: those that home had been a place of judgment, rejection, neglect, uncertainty, and pain. To those are the ones I write.

Your particular home environment inured you to abuse. We humans are designed to identify and follow patterns, regardless if they are ultimately to our detriment. It is easy to confuse that intense, familiar feeling for love and grant the person full access to you. Taking the step into emotional intimacy is a painful mistake. I wish there were a more kind way to say that, but there simply is not.

Just because someone feels like “home” does not always mean that is an inherently good thing. Please consider doing the work first to define what home means to you. Sometimes home is the very last place you should ever return.

I always fall

for women who don’t want me

like a dog chasing cars,

a child chasing shadows.

I write my love poems

for muses and angels,

nonexistent beings,

glass dreams that shatter

when a strong wind comes,

so I need to forget false hope,

learn to be alone,

place my love in my children,

try to build a house

with a concrete foundation,

and though I may never find happiness

in the glow of another’s eyes,

in the comfort of another’s touch,

maybe I can at least be content.

Maybe the storms will end.

I'll be missing you

Till the day I die

I've been waiting so long

That I want to cry

You say that you love

And I say I love you too

So, while your missing me

I'll be missing you.

My mother taught me how to breathe.

It may seem like a simple thing. So trivial, in fact, that we all do it constantly without ever giving it another thought. Thousands of times each day, we cycle the air through our lungs. But sometimes, our emotions overwhelm us, and we find ourselves suffocating. When you're crippled by your own tears, or blindsided by pain and fear, you forget how to do the very thing you need. No matter how uncontrollable the world feels, just pause for a moment, close your eyes, and breathe.