Death Nectar Regret
take it in like medicine
cutting on the way down.
shot of death and regret
tasting just, like the fallout.
lungs inject Devils breath
poison time with a soft sound.
all the screams in my dreams
whisper tales of this ghost town.
when you peer in my fear
beating heart never ages.
guilt is safe when it rakes
the skin upon the traitors.
but there's peace in the grief
I'm falling on the razors.
when I'm broke I feel whole
hiding out, in my failures.
Roads Untraveled
Burn it down and bleed it out
because nobody's listening.
I run away, by myself
waiting for the end.
I've given up and I am numb
looking for somewhere I belong,
a place for my head on roads untraveled
that make me hit the floor.
I'm lost in the echoes within a
castle of glass and shadows of the day
leave me crawling on hands and knees
from skin to bone until I faint
and there's nothing left me ....
Every day I tried to run away from living.
When I began to write I was actually about thirteen or fourteen years old at the time.
My mother passed away when I was thirteen; I'd been going through a severe depression, that caused me to go into fits of rage. It graduated into self-destructive behavior. When I'd feel this way, I wrote my feelings down, no matter how harsh they were. It was a release. From all the pain. All the anguish. All the loneliness that my soul cried out to be free from.
Crying my eyes out every night was not enough to mask to ever growing agony in my heart. Months would go on and I still felt the same but when I wrote the words down and actually put them on paper and closed that book... I felt comfort. Maybe it was a prayer. That I'd feel better than lesser.
Then I discovered poetry. I feel that my life, constantly, is a story. And to make you feel what I feel, I take a pen and write out my life for you. My life is really a testimony that I record on paper. The pen literally became my only friend in that deep, dark abyss I was travelling through.
Writing isn't just about what you feel at the moment. It's about how you've felt all your life. And how you want people to know they aren't alone. I'm glad to say that this applies to my life in many ways.
I guess I'd say that I'm a writer that is very abstract but I want you to still feel with the little images I do give you. I want to improve on it. Right now I'm still struggling to find out what I really want to do but that's something for another time. I love to read poetry so I believe that's where I got the idea to start writing it from.
Haven't been published. I'm just freelancing it.
Smiles
A smile once shared can fade faster than a fruit can biodegrade. I want to have someone with who my smile will stay longer than my cigarette butts scar the earth. With the introduction of a new person to your life, there's always that uncertainty of the length of their stay. One day I hope I meet someone that stays like a stain, and even with the application of friction they won't go away. One day, I hope I have a smile that never would fade, I cannot think of another thing I could more ever crave.
