Into my life fall heavy clouds of despair

bound with glass chains that make no noise.

Dingy basement on dark streets,

black boots in mud puddles splashing,

alone in my dreams of sweet release.

I do not see nor hear the dragging,

transparent chains of my own creation.

Key holder of locked chain dons mask

and hides furtively behind my back.

It dawns on me we are one and the same

as the closed chains of my mind veil me,

ethereal, suffocated by silence.

Chain bindings bite my ankles

jagged rocks beneath me invisible,

as I try to unlock chains of discord,

born of my own transgressions,

careless words in broken lines

pointing to a fractured destiny.

I rent asunder my bindings

realizing I have freedom of choice

as I fight the threatening links

radiating from desperate depths,

battle for growth and survival

and struggle upward toward light,

casting aside shadows of my mind.

To be rude to the man who cut in line

Who stands two feet in front of me

With an arrogant smile

Quite satisfied that he will get there

One minute before me

To be angry at the ignorance

Of the masses who don't know better

Who are willing to nominate a tyrant

Because they are being targeted

By those promising everything

But secretly know nothing

To be devastated by the violence

That is on our tv's

And is created by our dollars

At the movies and the taxes

That we pay

I choose not to be

Not to be the one 

Perpetrating such ugliness

To fan the flames of retribution

And pour gasoline on those 

So rotten from hate

For being rotten on the inside 

Is its own punishment

Even if they won't 

Consciously admit it 

Wrath decays your heart

And late at night

They have to listen

To the voice that whispers

That their selfish motives

Will be the downfall of mankind

So, I choose not to be 

Not to be anything like them

Otherwise I can't

Look my child in the eyes and know

The world I am creating for him

He was thinking

That lies came to his lips

Faster than they used to

And he wondered

At what moment

He became this way

He was thinking

That he used to listen

For birds out the window

Try to identify them

By their chirp

Now he only hears 

The heater turning on

When he is staring at the wall

He was thinking

That it was all his thinking

That changed him

And he wondered

At what moment

He locked himself away

His smile never seemed

To touch his eyes

And so he went outside 

And shut his eyes

And waited

For the next bird

To fly by

The next best thing to playing and winning is playing and losing

There's a coin toss in the distance.  You've excused yourself to the hallway for phone calls I cant hear and I'm begging D.W through unending text to tell me NO.

But I looked at her. Helpless and alone. And you're so very God Damned close to it all and I'm dividing the pros and cons to who I save and who I destroy.

So I smoke a bowl and cut the line between you and her.

And put my defenses in check because you have her eyes and I am doomed to fail.

Weakness is in the soul and mine is Damned.