I was made of the stars. 

Red blue and white. 

Twinkling my name

Like some sort of whistle

Stuck in the moons throat

I soon became a thorn

Something sick

Something that surely didn't belong

Lost my sure ambition

Lost my direction

Soon was spinning

Around and around

Left behind. 

So you could say. 

Without remorse?

How could one ever even know? 

I was blind sighted. 

I was pushed off the road. 

Forced. 

Hit head on.

Driven straight off the cliff of my own recognition. 

Its rare that my mind takes me back to that day. 

A safety precaution of its own matter.

Built, and driven to disregard all predisposed longing for what's long gone. 

I chased it for so long.. 

That repeating black night of a memory.

Round and around. 

In headless circles that drove me mad. 

That drove me wild. 

That drove me here. 

To a place I don't recognize, whether my eyes are closed, clenched, or wide open with a gaze of recognition. 

This is not where I belong, and I swear that not only the past, but the present, as well as the future are all telling me the same thing.. 

To run back to him 

We argue and fight.

Morning and all night.

It's like it never stops, 

and when we decide to put it all behind

it always looks as though we hit rewind.

I feel it's jealousy from you to say those things to me. 

How dare you say,

"You don't even need that, you just wanted it"

"You have never been through what I have been"

" You expect me to keep my family apart just like you did?"

Love used to fill your head, now I was wishing I was dead.

Not only did I fear of showing you my needs,

and you insisting it was greed.

I have not gone through your loss of identity, 

but just because I push to create mine doesn't mean you can get out of line.

We've both ben through similar situations, the thing is you never open enough to hear my stories and realize how much we really do know what it feels like to have a shitty life.

You want me as a wife, yet when we talk about family it's always yours first or you forcing to make one of your own.

My dreams have been spoken, over and over.

You just don't seem to listen or care. 

Seems like all you want is to see the kinds of underwear I have.

Sex is great but when there's a balance of lust and love.

You just want the lust and I want the love,

I guess this constant battle keeps canceling me out 

because I am too selfish to push you out.

Out of my life, 

out of my memories,

out of my dreams.

You and I make me numb.

I can't feel much delight as I used to.

All because you and I 

was my suppose to.

Don't write my name in the obituaries

Don't put my picture in your office halls

And please, for the love of God,

Don't make a martyr out of my face -

In the end, it won't make a difference,

I am a single fallen soul

in a world where all souls fall.

In Loving Memory lies; the day will come 

where no one's left to remember me.

We die thrice, you see.

Once when the world steals our light,

Once as our last breath dissipates

Once when we're forgotten.

Let me rest, please. 

I accosted her with glee

Bearing gifts of smile

And every iteration of goodwill 

Under the Northern sun

I reached for promised embrace

Only to be staggered aback

By fearsome unforeseen smack 

Across disillusioned mien

I was ill-prepared for the foul stench

Of intolerance that now assail

My sweetly sensibilities

What shall soothe seared soul? 

Xenophobia disguised as patriotism

Would label me thief

Come to plunder and pillage

I swear it ain't so! 

Racism unabashedly assaults

Proudly rendering fools' rhetoric

That somehow my color

Means I'm lesser 

There is pain in her rejection

For my intractable truth is:

I'm human and unique and free

And America was supposed beautiful

Roses are red,

like the blood from your head.

Violets are blue;

yeah, I killed you.

Roses are red

and now you're dead.

Violets are blue,

but I am, too.

Roses are red

and I wonder, should I have just maimed you, instead?

Violets are blue

and it's too late for a re-do.

I am there

Here

Anywhere

But not noticed

My thoughts

They stir

Boil

And bake

Watching

Waiting for my

Turn

Never a spotlight

Always a shadow

Never a priority

Just an option

The second best

Though I try my hardest

To shine through

Not faking it

Not me

Just my normal face

And opinions

Friends?

A few

Allies?

I believe so

The walls

They don't have eyes

Nor do they have ears

But I do

I'm forgotten in the crowd

But I'm still there

Don't worry

I won't tell

'Cause I'm not looking to be

In the center

Of your

Attention

you´re the cloud 

and 

I am the rain

that 

comes 

      out 

       of

          It 

 I 

drip 

   drop,

                drip,

drip,

teardrops 

that 

       f

           a

          l

              l

 down

             your 

           chest 

that dribble 

onto your lips 

waiting for your mouth 

to engulf 

me 

in your Love