I still care about you, even though our conversations never consist of much beyond ‘how are you?’ Looking at us now, one would never guess we were once best friends. But fate has a strange way of bringing us together. I’m not surprised to see you here, at my birthing class. Although I will admit, I did not foresee you becoming a childbirth educator. To be frank, I did not foresee myself becoming a mother either.

What I'm trying to say is, I’m grateful to have you by my side.

I’m quite good with words

My mind is full of them

Bouncing around like tennis balls

I’m blanking

How can I say this

You’ll be so hurt

I’m sorry

It’s not you

It’s me

Too corny

Try again

You don’t act like you care about me

Okay, at least it’s honest

Delivered.

Ding

You’re right, I haven’t been trying

I’m not ready

Sorry I’ve been a donkey to you

Insert second meaning of donkey

Ask my friends

Does this mean he’s done?

End it girl

Sip on my 3rd glass of wine

Laughing when I should be sad

Feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder

Light and free

Yeah, one sided relationships don’t work

Thanks for letting me try it out with you

Don’t want that again

Delivered.

Ding

I really did care about you, I’m just confused

Look at the text

Look at my friends

He’s not hurt

Neither am I

I choose my friends

I choose myself

I choose my happiness

Realized something

I don’t need you to care about me

Because you know who I have at the end of the day

Me

I hate you.

I hate you more than anyone

that I have ever met.

You are one of the few people

that I truly resent.

You try to steal my friends,

and hey, look, you suceeded.

You really have made me feel

like the oppisite of needed.

And I hate your little act

on how you are a perfect child.

I know you’re just a spoilt brat,

who is untamed and wild.

And I hate you even more because

I can't hate you.

Because I will never know

what you've been through.

Because, maybe this is my fault.

Maybe I am the bad guy here.

Oh, I hate you!

Why did you have to cause me so much fear!

Do I really hate you?

Or do I jsut hate myself?

I wish you and your family, Ramadan Mubarak. May Allah gives us the strength to fulfill the needs of this month.

May Allah bring countless moments of happiness and joy in your life. Happy Ramadan!

On this holy month (Ramadan), I’m wishing you and your family 4 weeks of blessings, 30 days of clemency and 720 hours of enlightenment. Ramadan Mubarak!

Whenever you feel alone and sad, remember that God is with you. He will never leave you alone and always guide you. Ramadan Mubarak!

God has once again brought Ramadan in our lives and we must take this opportunity to do lots of ASTAGHFAR. May God forgive us for all our sins!

I wish you and your family from deeps of my heart a very happy Ramadan. Always remember me in your prayers.

May Allah bring lots of happiness and blessings in your lives. Happy Ramadan Kareem!

Always remember me and my family in your prayers. God Bless you all and have tons of wishes for Ramadan from me and my family.

O Allah forgive us for all our sins and take us in your blessings and happiness. We are very weak, give us the strength to fight against sins...

Best

#Sherzod

Unspeakable?

No. Not really.

Here's the things I want to tell you (everyone)

I am afraid I will be an old maid.

Everyone seems to think I'll be one but I rebuke them no I won't be one in Jesus Name.

When my mom turned 60 everything changed. During the midnight of her birthday it felt like we both entered another time line and I felt it. Nothong's the same anymore...

I am afraid to live alone... the house is too big to be left in...

I liked him like I never liked anyone before.

There are days all I wanna do is to stare at him, speak with him, want him but who am I really? I am no match to him. Probably I am just a colleague to him a co leader in an organization.... but I like him I wanna be close to him and know him more... perhaps know him more

I'm sorry. These things are on my mind, when I'm not head deep in distractions. I can't even understand why I don't share them to the actual people other than I feel like I need to be perfect first, that I need to be sure of what I believe. Also, I'm not using real names in this... just initials.

To myself,

Don't give up. Please keep doing the things that bring you closer to God, instead of the things that draw you further away. Replace those negative thoughts that are in your head, renew your mind from the lies and the filth you let into it with the words of truth. I'm sorry I haven't taken care of you as well as I should have. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, there's no magical way to suddenly do everything perfectly. I know you put some important things off, but try to look at a new day like you have a chance to stop the procrastination and be proactive. Don't give up! Don't let doubt consume you!

To my family (especially the ones who profess to be Christians),

You should know that not everyone who says they're a Christian makes it to heaven. You can do everything "right" and still not make it because you didn't have a personal relationship with Christ. I should have said something sooner, but I'm afraid of sharing the truth and I'm more afraid you won't want to hear it. On the positive side, there is still time to repent and put your faith in Christ and have a relationship. On the negative side, I am afraid for your souls but so selfish as to not write you an apology, because how I live matters and it hasn't been the most God-honoring. Yet I'm also selfish because I don't spend nearly enough time praying for you either.

To M,

I don't know if I'd tell you this, but one time I looked at you and could have sworn I saw a dark, heavy veil over your face. Like a great, thick darkness, and I'm not sure how legit it was. I know if you're anything like me, you have a great many hurts and traumas and feelings and unforgiveness you're carrying around with you. They can be let go.

To K,

I'm not a good friend. No one is good, really. But I feel like the worst friend because you're so nice and I don't want you to go to Hell. I'm just afraid of sharing the truth and losing you as a friend. I doubt my own faith and the way I live is just not the best example that maybe it's easier not to share it. Yet that's selfish, and I should be going to God and looking at the cross and crying out for a true change of heart.

To J,

You are so kind and so nice! I don't do the greatest job of loving my neighbors. Maybe I'm just afraid of change, and that's why I don't share my faith with you either. It feels challenging because my family doesn't live the most honoring to God either. I'm sorry for my hardness of heart.

To Work,

I have done many things I should not have done, yet I have always justified it in my head. It just seemed easier to go with the flow as much as possible but I have become apathetic and complacent in my work place. I also don't share my faith there at all either, afraid of what you'd think and what you'd say. It feels difficult right now when I know I'm guilty of a great many things in that enviroment, so I may need to humble myself and admit them. I feel like it's easier to not care about you than to heal from the rejection I so often feel when I am there.

To C,

I should warn you that Christians shouldn't be practicing yoga because it is a spiritual practice with positions based on false gods. I don't know if you practice it, but I know you have at least endorsed it before. There is a level of concern in me, I'm just afraid you won't take it or you'll get super mad at me or something. I hardly know you.

To D,

I don't know if I'm still interested in you or not. I feel like it would be healthy to take some space some days. I don't know why, but it is so hard to say to you that I need to take a day to myself, and it wouldn't really be your fault. I still like you, I just feel I am unhealthily attached to you, like a constant need to please you by being available to chat all the time.

To people in general,

Mandatory implanted chip vaccine is gonna be the mark of the beast. If you can't buy, sell, or trade without the Covid vaccine, it definitely looks like the mark of the beast. God can provide for you during this time where you can't buy, sell, or trade if you put your trust in Him. It's so hard knowing this and not saying anything about it. Also that there is hope and there is healing for people through Jesus and what he did. Demons (unclean spirits, Mark 1:32-34) are real, and they can possess the unsaved and oppress the saved, and deliverance is a thing that exists, though mostly for the saved because otherwise demons can come back in the unbeliever.

Grandpa!

I never got the chance to tell you how much I loved and still love you. The reason I was never around when you were still alive is because I knew you wouldn't recognize me and I would end up crying alone in the bathroom. I wanted to tell you that, I need you right now more than ever! I need you to hug me and talk to me, tell me that everything is going to be ok, that I'm not alone, that you will be here to help me! But all I have to say is...the things I never got the chance to tell you...well...I remember those beautiful days when I was at your house with cousins and grandma was making our favorite food but not only one..she liked to cook more than one meal so everyone would be happy! But on that table I was always sitting next to you cause

A) I was the small one

B) I wanted to be next to you!

You were always making jokes and you were actually laughing with what I was saying and thank you for that. And after lunch how can I forget that you were sitting with us and you were playing with us...I may don't remember nothing from my past, how i was as a kid but this one is one I will never forget! Cause this one is my favourite! You wanna know why? Cause it was the last time I saw you smiling and laughing...after the accident you had and had to stay in bed for the rest of your life and that you couldn't talk because of the many strokes you had I cried a lot. When I was around the house to visit you and see you, it was hard day by day,week after week, and that's when I stopped being around, knowing I shouldn't stop. So I was coming to visit once a week or month and you seemed to forget me and I don't blame you for that but only me! I was crying 24/7 without letting anyone see me and when one day I heard the bad news?! I regret for the times I missed being around you! And I cried the hell out of me...You are not here now but I want you to know that I kept a pair of your pjs...just to feel you around me when I'll be sad or feeling like I'm going down into a depression!

I'm sorry for anything I may did and I love you till we meet again!

Time has nearly run out. Fight or be scared for life. Once the end truly begins most will be trapped therein. Chaos is on the horizon, disease, famine, war and control. The warning alarms are being suppressed by MSM, misdirection, smokescreens and controlled opposition. The time is now to see. If you miss the great opportunity well eternal chains fate shall be.

Many years ago, after living in Garmish Germany, working in a Hotel for my moms friends nephew, I had never been out of the US before. I worked very hard, but got to play on my off days.

Bars and Strambads(restaurant and lake swimming), I became friends with a German girl, we use to party all night, and hard!

One night she was totally out of it, absolutely intoxicated. She barely managed to walk me back to the Hotel I worked in!

So being kind and considerate I ask her if she needed to stay in my room for the night, she agreed, I had two beds in the room so she could have the other one!

I was pretty wasted, so I went to bed, and all of a sudden she got in my bed, she told me she wanted to have sex with me, I said no, but she did anyway:

And she brutally raped me.

After that, on my way back to the USA, it haunted me.

I didn’t like the way she was abusive, but I did like being with a woman!

Where I was finally home I told my mom I was gay, that I liked women sexually, she argued with me about my choice, but she let me live the way I chose!

Being a lesbian was who I was!

Now, I am happy with my life, was a lesbian for 37 years, and not once did anyone love me for me,

Funny my middle name is Gay, but living that life was tough, I have never been with a man, nor do I want to be,

I just want to be what I am;

A Woman!!!

she asked me

why i dont do small talks

i said i never was person who does that

she ashed me why i dont do it if i want it

i said its because i dont realy care about all those people around me

i feel miles away from them..

they are all old people

old croatian people

im realy far away from that

im non-planet earth girl

i even live miles away from my best friends

i want other things

i dont talk about shopping

about hair saloons

and hows the wheater

i have real problems

within myself

its my spiritual life

its ecological zero waste thing

they wouldnt understand

i hope they will

untill then

i wil stay inside myself

and wait a couple of centuries

so other ppl will come to the same line with me

until then

i will already be

far away into the woods

with weapons, fire and cave home

i will eat wild animals,

humans even, if needed

and they will finally achive to be vegans

who cannot survive this struggle

this strugle of global warming

its the war for survival

the thoughest will survive

mental stability

physical awarness

and oneself doctors

are needed

be there

i dont care

i know the way

thats why..im in a war with everyone.