"I fought the law and the law won"

What an iconic phrase. A classic tale all in one sentence. Not to mention a great hook to an even greater song. I fought the Law is most known from its cover performed by the Bobby Fuller Four. If its name doesn't ring a bell, listening to the song surely will. It's one of those tunes from the sixties your sure you've never heard of until you play it and realize you've listened to it at least a dozen times on a radio station you never had the choice of tuning to. Even the most introverted zoomer has heard this song at some supermarket. Nobody can forget this jam no matter how buried in their memory it is. As much as music snobs such as myself can resent pop music for its often vapid simplicity, simple songs that transcend their time have a special charm to them. I Fought the Law is one of those songs. Its most famous line elicits many layers, from a statement of defeat to a humorous one liner of a story that explains itself all too well. Typical lyrics about breaking rocks, "robbin with a six gun", and missing their girl tie in with the central mantra of the song. They further express a feeling loss in the context of imprisonment. It's a catchy song about man down on his luck, a tune most would dance to despite its subject matter. I Fought the Law may also be a partial foreshadowing of Bobby Fullers life, or rather his mysterious death which many theorize was a hit by the mob. Regardless of the song's interpretations, it's a timeless tune that everybody has heard somewhere.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand

And he said to the man runnin' the stand

"Hey! [(bam bam bam)] Got any grapes?"

The man said: "No, we just sell lemonade

But it's cold, and it's fresh, and it's all home-made!

Can I get you a glass?"

The duck said, "I'll pass."

Then he waddled away - waddle waddle

'Til the very next day

"Bom bom bom bom bom babom"

...

I've been babysitting my small 1 1/2 cousin, L., while his mom is in the hospital with his little brother. And L. is hooked on The Duck Song Ever spent 18 hours straight listening to it? Trust me, you haven't missed out on much. It gets stuck in your head, and you get it stuck in everyone else's as well! (Don't know what it is? Just google it, hit play and then you'll know...) Everything, even your innermost secret thoughts, are about it!

For example, you catch yourself singing this in your head to the tune:

"I need to put my clothes in a lemonade stand...oh, phooey! I mean I need to do a duck in my little clothes dryer. NO!!!!"

Ugh. If I could get this song out of my head, I would SO happy.

But...there are worse things to have stuck in your head, I suppose. :)

If you choose not to decide

You still have made a choice

And the rocks continue the landslide

even after there's no more noise

Standing alone atop a tower of indecision

Creates a shroud you can't stop spinnin'

Its cover recalls the youthful warmth

Better than standing where cold light is dimmin'

But if you choose not to decide

You still have made a choice

Near the end of the rope of time

Right or wrong, the world rejoice

For those things inevitable

Always come true

And what cannot be stopped

Will always happen

And in a way beyond my grasp

There's a bit of comfort in that

sick, sick, sick as a dog.

i spent an hour mumbling that to myself.

sick, sick, sick.

on the floor next to the toilet, pinching mosquito bites into my arm.

sick as a dog, sick.

i don't hurt myself like that anymore.

sick, sick.

i don't think i'm sick anymore. but i don't know how well i am either.

insane. fucking insane.

the dark speaks to me sometimes and i'm pretty sure i can touch the sky.

they're coming to take me away haha!

i'm making it up of course, i just want the attention, some reason why i'm like this.

into the sea you and me.

i can't stop laughing i'm putting on a show for the ghouls in the wall, do they think i'm manic yet?

my weekend's at an all time low.

stop, it's not doing anything, shut up, shut the fuck up.

it's very quiet after.

it's strange.

the definition of insanity

i repeat the mantra over and over

"doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result"

By trade I am an engineer

I repeat the same experiment

I repeat the same experiment

I repeat the same experiment

I get the same result

I get the same result

I get the same result

Aside from being an engineer, I am a human

I am a human who is not insane

depending on who you ask

my grandma might say I am

my therapist would say that I am not

Mental illness has a stigma like that

mania is a unique of insanity

yes, i said insanity

people who are bipolar are not insane

but the symptoms we have are crazy to me

My definition of insanity is different

it is spending all my money impulsively

going out for a drive in a place i know nothing about

gambling my life savings in vegas

starting a novel every few months

having a new business venture weekly

deciding, as someone who cannot run a mile, that I will run a marathon right now

I do follow the Einstein definition of insanity

i try to not spend all my money impulsivley

i try to prevent drives in strange places

i tend to avoid gambling my money away in vegas

i try to finish the novels i start

i wonder if maybe this business venture is the one

i do not run the marathon

There's a queue, in my head, of everything

Tabs, open forever, fading in and out of existence

Sometimes, they fade forever

But mostly, they drift in and out of the depths,

forever waxing and waning like waves on a shore

The waves are dark, right now, and I can't stop them.

They're usually carefree, happy, snippets of sounds, thoughts, sentences in silly voices.

But not right now.

The loudness of a bone snapping, an instant death sentence

The wrench of loss, and the terrible knowledge that I can't run from it even as I run.

It shouldn't have happened.

I screamed, trying to understand, as my heart seemed to shatter.

She should have been fine. She was fine.

She fell.

It shouldn't have happened.

I keep wondering what I could have done to prevent it all

I don't think it's fully hit yet, but it has at the same time.

She was supposed to live longer.

It's like there's a physical weight on my head, a heavy crown.

I can't get her back, and that hurts more.

White daisies and a dull eye

It shouldn't have happened.

If the past is dead,

then why do I dread

these infernal dreams?

If the past is dead,

the present matters.

The future is bright.

Then why do I dread

these slices of death?

It's the memories.

If the past is dead,

I should be able

to dismiss these thoughts.

Then why do I dread

this possessive sleep?

My will has no strength.

Nightly I become

the fantoccini.

If the past is dead,

then why do I dread -

"I get overwhelmed so easily, my anxiety creeps inside of me, makes it hard to breathe, what's come over me? Feels like I'm somebody else."

"I get overwhelmed so easily, my anxiety creeps inside of me"

"I get overwhelmed so easily, my anxiety"

"My anxiety"

"my anxiety"

"my anxiety, m y a n x I e t y, MY ANXIETYMY ANXIETY MYANXIETY"

1: Im lost in the darkness

What will this bring?

Autumn decends on me

Autumn

2: What do I see?

Oh, so beatiful

My heart, it beats

Oh, so magical

1: Im lost in the darkness

What will this bring?