Dinner
Dim night.
Candlelight.
Table set for two.
I stare down at the shiny plate at my expression, blue.
My weak smile hides my weary eyes.
My calm demeanor masks the tumult in my brain.
My steady heartbeats drown out the ache--
Alas, I awake.
It was all a dream.
I sigh.
In reality, work will be on my Thanksgiving plate.
Followed by dinner with them...
...and a side of inevitable thoughts of you.
The Feast
Butternut squash,
pureed oh so smooth
into soup silky with
clove laden anticipation
a whirl of sour cream
to accent and please
The slice of turkey breast
With crisp brown skin
A dollop of bright red
Tart cranberry jelly a pillow
where it rests
Bright green beans
In a casserole still
The mottled shades of emerald
yellow and white, crisp
Brussel Sprouts buttered in
garlic sauce heaven
And broccoli smothered
in cheddar cheese slather
Then Mom's best dressing
A fragrant concoction
with fluffy bread soaked in
long roasted flavor
onions and celery to
bring olfactory satiation
A mound of mashed potatoes
A crater on top
filled with a lake of gravy
scented with wine
overflowing the edge
of the plate,
a finger quick to stop
Stains of disaster on
the pristine table cloth
And then when filled to bursting
Spice laden pie
Made fresh from a pumpkin
saved from Halloween's knife
A mountain of deliciousness
Of tastes and aromas
Of belly patting satisfaction
And comatose inaction
More than the feast
family and friends
surround the great buffet,
place aside their misgivings,
and give thanks for the day
Giving...thanks?
I'll be going to a couple different gatherings throughout the day between my folks and my in-laws but here what we're looking at:
For breakfast, a healthy dose of piousness and with some sides of ignorance to that one time Papa used a racial slur. That said, there's usually some sweet treats that highlight the importance of graceful aging and self-investment.
Lunch is kind of a mixture. The step-aunts and uncles tend to bring some poorly-seasoned sentiments. Their children will bring little, but leave with heaping plates. Hubby and I will probably bring some pre-packaged sensibilities and claim they're homemade just to ruffle Step-nana's country fluffed feathers. The original grandkids occasionally stir a pot of sweet and sour puckish delights. Everyone brings their own variation of avoidance.
But as for dinner, your initial question:
With my family, there's usually a main course of repression. Plentiful sides of bitterness and denial are paired with carefully carved generational grudges dressed with meddlesome behavior and stuffed with unresolved trauma. This will likely be the heaviest meal of the day, so I'm glad that this is at the end. I try not to put too much on my plate here, but tend to have more leftovers than I want or need. My husband tries to skip this meal as he says my family are terrible chefs. I don't disagree, but it gets harder to come up with new reasons for his absence every year. Politeness only goes so far, especially when unreciprocated.
OH. You meant...like, actual food. I don't know...probably turkey and some mac and cheese? Green bean casserole, sweet potato mash. My grandma makes a pretty mean potato salad, though her taste buds died years ago so she's just winging it at this point. Might keep the salt and pepper on the table just in case.
Thanksgiving
Balancing
my family with
my boyfriend with
their expectations with
my happiness next to
a slice of turkey and
two carrots and
a potato and
home
TWELVE DAYS OF THANKSGIVING!!!
On the first day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
A Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the second day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Two cranberry sauces
and a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the third day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
and a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the fourth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the fifth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the sixth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the seventh day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Seven sweet potatoes,
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the eighth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Eight jello salads,
Seven sweet potatoes,
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the ninth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Nine scoops of ice cream,
Eight jello salads,
Seven sweet potatoes,
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the tenth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Ten apple crumbles,
Nine scoops of ice cream,
Eight jello salads,
Seven sweet potatoes,
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the eleventh day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Eleven blobs of cream whip
Ten apple crumbles,
Nine scoops of ice cream,
Eight jello salads,
Seven sweet potatoes,
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
On the twelfth day of thanksgiving, my plate served up to me:
Twelve mugs of cider
Eleven blobs of cream whip
Ten apple crumbles,
Nine scoops of ice cream,
Eight jello salads,
Seven sweet potatoes,
(Six buttons bursted)
Five pumpkin pies!
Four kinds of bread,
Three cookie crumbles,
Two cranberry sauces
And a Thanksgiving turkey for me!
And now I’m stuffed till Christmas
Thanksgiving Plates
There’s one day a year, families come in to enjoy their company & an over filled plate.
We have turkey & Stuffing made with sage, fake smiles & secret competition to see whose family’s more great.
Mashed potatoes & gravy, rather buttering bread, they butter each other up to have someone on their side for political debates.
I love the rutabaga, it’s my favorite & I enjoy every bite while I watch it be avoided like I avoid The cousins with uncunning traits.
They love green bean casserole, it’s full of cheese, ritz, add in jealousy over stories of the pretend lives they create.
Some try the spaghetti squash, it’s savory & sweet, not like the brother-in-law who uses people to pump up an ego that he needs to inflate.
I can’t forget the corn, that’s a staple food, salted & peppered with a dash of the aunts in the kitchen whispering about their daily complaints.
My husband & I adore the pumpkin pie, two slices apiece that we take to the kids table, the adults & we just don’t relate.
A Plate of Thankful Memories
My family gathers. Generations of moms and daughters bustle in the kitchen, sharing recipes, cackling about the latest family drama.
Men and children sit by the fire. The game is on. Children play and dream of the mound of mashed potatoes soon to be theirs!
Not all family members are here. Some are too far away. Some have passed on. We laugh and guffaw at the happy memories with a sprinkling of sadness and loss. Always thankful for the memories we have.
Time to eat. Everyone rushes to the table, cackling moms bringing out the last of the dishes. The man of the house drills through the roasted beast. Tasty familiar accompaniments are shoveled on to plates. It's a symphony of clink and clank as the polished silverware forks the good China.
My plate is empty. No glutenous sustenance for me. No. There are only memories on my plate. One empty plate in front of one empty chair. Frequent glances to my plate by my beloved family sparking more stories, more laughs, more grief. They think of me. They remember me. They are sad, but thankful for the memories.
she’s thinking about him again
potato filling.
it was my grandfather's recipe.
all the ingredients of turkey stuffing;
celery, bread crumbs, onion,
mixed with mashed potatoes.
this is
our first thanksgiving without him
and my mother is making
potato filling.
and i know
she's thinking about him again.
Sing it with me!
Carrots and parsnips are shining in butter
Great gorgeous hams, oh if I'd have my druthers!
Wonderful tenderloins tied up with string
These are a few of my favorite things...
When the cold bites!
When the knees ache!
When I'm feeling sad...
I simply remember the season is nigh
And then I don't feel so bad!
Taters and stuffing on trivets of fancy
Wonderful sauces are catered by Nancy
Great golden goblets are sparkling with cheer
Please my good man would you pour me a beer!
When the wind blows!
When my stocks crash!
When I'm feeling mad...
I simply remember the season is nigh
And then I don't feel so bad!
Velvety gravies that make my mouth water
Show me that turkey, I'll tear it asunder
I see a pumpkin pie topped with whipped cream
Oh, mother pinch me this must be a dream!
When the brakes fail!
When the babes wail!
When I lose my hat!
I simply remember the season is nigh
And then I don't feel so bad!
my plate
Alongside the passing dishes, the casserole, the pie
My plate holds missing memories, of stress, of grief, of sighs
Perfect porcelain china that we see just once a year
Pretty decorations that hide both pride and tears
My plate holds conversations of loosened family ties, of people that we once held dear, and now have to leave behind
I balance my politeness like the food groups on my plate
Carbs heavy like the questions as they ask about my latest failing date
But on top of everything I add a little grace
because even despite it all, my plate is giving thanks