An accident. That’s what I tell people when they ask. Boiling water or sometimes oil. I tripped, that’s all. An unfortunate spill with catastrophic results.

I wasn’t beautiful. My nose was too long, my face narrow, my cheekbones plagued by freckles. And my eyes were farther apart than they should be. The cumulative effect was a bit feline actually. But I wore my thick, auburn hair long, curled at the ends. And I knew about makeup, so boys looked my way. One boy in particular.

He had this desperation about him. When he presented in class, his balled hand would drip sweat. His hair fell in long greasy strings. When teased, his mouth twitched into a teeth-baring sneer, but he never fought back. He took the punishment, laid flat against the lockers, curled into a ball on the floor, all with that same sick look stamped on his face. I watched the whole thing go down once. It was eerie how silent he was while the kids pounded on him, kicking him in the neck, the chest. I didn’t step in though. How could I?

Just before the bell rang every day, he squirmed in his seat, slipping and sliding on the plastic like an eel, bolting so quickly that his desk rocked back when he left it. But his eyes were the thing. His eyes would sometimes spin as if possessed, as if trying to latch onto something to keep him in place. Spin and then refocus, always on me. Always on my face.

I knew he wanted to ask me. I could feel it coming in hot waves off of him. His shadow stood over me, wanting. He blocked the sunlight and stuttered the question, but I just couldn’t. Not even to be nice. When I said no, he pulled out a vial. He yanked my hair back and brought me to my feet with one hand and then ripped out the plug with the other.

The fire that fell from the tube ate away my flesh to the bone, pooled in my eye sockets, spread into my hair. I can still feel it burning even now. When I fell, screaming, at his feet, he dug into the raw flesh, ripping and pulling and muttering to himself. I felt my nose slip past my cheek. Felt my left ear slide to the tile floor. As I screamed, it ran into my mouth and down into my throat.

When a teacher lifted him off, he shouted “Now, you are something special. Not just another face.” And he laughed. Laughed at me as I lay quaking in blood and melting tissue.

Blind now, I’m not allowed to buy a gun. Knives however... I’ve taken my time, working my fingertips over the blades, feeling the weight in my hands. He gets out in 19 days and I will be waiting. Waiting to carve off that sneer. He will learn what it means to be not just another face.

Your cagey threads unraveled,

your hollow chimes have no sound.

You’re just another face of someone

I used to know – a superficial shell

behind your locked doors of empty.

Your fetid breath is mere ghosts

of your arrogance of the haughty,

a vanity applying pressure

to faded clouds of darkness.

Your footprints led to nowhere,

a backward walk in futile hours.

You hung on with icicle fingers

to cobweb cracks of yesterday,

bitter stinging pain washed away

the fumes inside your belly as

I threw your used towel out,

resurrected evasive rays of sunlight

filtering it through my fingers.

I said goodbye to your face -

it’s the end of our dance

cold absence of fizzled embers.

she had madness in her mind

and bullets on her breath.

taking every moment passing by as

a second closer to death.

the cracks begged to be crusted over

in her crazy, corrupt brain:

she itched and traced her tired veins

washing them with rotten rain.

to people on the street she was

just another girl, just another face

but they all felt the same to her

just a different mob, just a different place.

she was never at home

she was never at rest

is life really worth

all of my best?

she wondered helplessly

why she couldnʼt make tears

she waited every moment until

finally she could disappear.

and the cold sun set on her spare day

the smile on her corpse gave it all away.

If you were to see me

I would be

Just another

Face in the crowd.

If you tried to find me

It would be hard

Because I am just

Another face in the crowd.

If you wanted to 

Help me

It wouldn't work

Because I would still be

Just another face in the crowd.

I am invisible

Just like always

Just another 

Face in the crowd.

You are just another face.

Iʼm not generally keen on giving advice

Especially in the way of life-living

But an opportunity has arisen now for me to speak my mind

You are just another face.

Yep.

You are just another face.

A face among a sea of faces

Hell, that line has been so overused

That it should be indicative in and of itself

But I digress on that matter and repeat

You are just another face.

Wait a second

Before your hair stands on end

And your fingers hit the left-hand side

X

Please, listen

You are just another face.

There is too much pressure in the face of faces

And we have been driven to drive all thatʼs been driven

Down some other path no one has gone before

That we live in twisters down the road of crazy

Before we hit 13

But remember

You are just another face.

You are unique.

But human

Remember

You are just another face.

Your fingerprints tell other stories

You say

Your lines graph your experiences

And your wisdom tells no lies

You scream

Your hands have touched only what you have touched

All so true

But

Relax

You are just another face.

But

But

But when you were a baby

Your mother told you

You were special in just your own way

And you will climb to the top of a mountain

Turn water to wine

And live all your wishes

Sure

But

You are just another face.

And that fucking dinosaur

With all the bells and the whistles

The one who spoke only truth

And stole your eyes and ears and your brain

While you ate your corn flakes in the living room floor

Stop

You are just another face.

Relax

Beautiful

You are just another face.

Drink your coffee

Do your dishes

Water, a gallon each day

Donʼt hold your piss in your britches unless you want an infection

This all applies to you

You are just another face.

The facade you are given is one you were

GIVEN

You were given

Relax

You are just another face.

I could go on forever

I won't

I swear

But of utmost importance is

That collective sea of faces in which your perfect one resides

Share your lines

Share those words

Those experiences

Those fingerprints

Touch everything

With the faces

Touch the faces

Climb your mountain

If you please

Or donʼt

Either way

You are special in just your own way

With your own face

In a sea of faces

You are allowed to sleep

You are allowed to be

Relax

You are just another face.

I don't know if you knew that to someone you're not just another face in the crowd.

To someone you're the face 

The face that makes their life alive with colors, 

musical because of the thump of their heart to their chest.

The painter that makes their world colorful. 

I just hope you know.

Navigating strangers in a dog-eat-dog maze,

She catches his eye and they lock their gaze.

Just another face,

In a nondescript place,

A brief moment 'fore going their separate ways.

you cannot write about that which you do not know.

then it must be true that there are more secrets in me than there are stars. there are more hushed voices and gentle caresses than summer sunrises.

and it must also be true that i weep ink and fold newspaper-lips shut. droplets run down my cheeks and onto my magazine glossed clothes. i dip my quill-pen fingertips into my pores, and i write.

i write on the tissue-paper dreams i once held and blow them away. i scribble maddeningly fast on my thighs. inkstain-stars whirl around my eyes. galaxies orbit my wrists. secrets keep my newspaper-lips shut.

my ink-blood runs dry, and i age. my ivory sheets are now yellowed with time, and my lungs become brittle, like parchment paper.

and still i write.

i write and i write and i write --

-- until i know no more...

Crowds of people I don't know

    No idea where I'll go

Look ahead and something I see

    Is that you ahead of me?

Walking faster, must catch up

    So many people, just my luck

Another glimpse, I'm sure it's you

    Just keep fighting my way through

Weaving in and out so fast

    Around the next just like the last

Desperate, tired of being alone

    Trying to dial your cell phone

Think I've lost you, start to cry

    If I can't find you think I'll die

Catch another glimpse I'm sure

    Through the crowd I must endure

Almost trip over some old guy

    Just a blank look in his eye

I look ahead to seek you out

    Bite my lip so I don't shout

Like a beacon calling me

    You feel like my destiny

I catch up, reach out to you

    You turn around and I withdrew

Facing me it's someone else

    Put my heart back on a shelf

As my ears start ringing loud

    Stare at just a face in the crowd.

Every day I watch you come and go.

Through my window I watch you.

Rain or shine.

I see you.

You walk alone,

In your signature black hoodie,

Scuffing your feet along the ground.

Every day,

You look up at me through the window.

Every day,

It pains me to see the distress in your eyes.

Your eyes.

Your eyes are what capture me.

The blue and grey swirling together,

So much emotion and beauty.

And yet so much pain.

You smile at me.

This continues every day.

You walk,

Rain or shine,

Although your smile remains the same.

The same beautiful smile.

You intrigue me.

I want to know you.

But to you,

I'm just another face.