I am a spiritual coward, and so I take the safer road toward agnosticism. The further and further outward I look, the smaller and smaller I seem to become, which makes it hard to believe that there could be a being out there that would care about an insignificant little cancer cell living for a blink of time on a floating speck of dust in a tiny solar system around an average to small star in an infinitely large universe, so I get atheism. I get that it takes a great deal of vanity, or sense of self importance, to believe that I am special enough to deserve a greater being who cares about my existence, and my eternal soul.

But I have also seen and heard about events in this world that make my spine tingle with anticipation for something better waiting beyond this life. The magic of existence itself from out of nothingness must be some sort of miracle, is it not? Does it not take some sort of being to create that miracle? So I get religion, too.

I know... maybe, maybe not. Agnosticism...

Which came first? The chicken? The egg? Did God create us, or did we create him? Every known society has had a god, or gods. Why? Is it because we need hope for something better to push us? A carrot on a stick? Is our instinct for survival not enough to sustain a lifetime of struggle? It never has been before. Without hope would we not just sit in our basements and smoke weed in the dark until our bodies die of their own fabricated diseases. Would we not lie down and rot away our only shot at “being”, casting aside the glorious sunshine overhead which calls us to love, to labor, and to live... in essence to hope.

And to hope requires faith. Faith is an all-in proposition. If I lean toward religion, should I not lean all the way in? Should I not live to that religion’s laws with gusto, and preach its word with every breath? If I KNEW that someday I would stand shivering and naked before an all powerful God, would I not spend every moment of this life preparing for His rapture, rather than chasing worldly wealth and lust? But what if I spend every moment chasing a more righteous and glorious life and in so doing discard the earthly joys and lusts of the only one I will ever have?

If I KNEW that I would never be judged, then why would I not throw morality to the winds?

Oh, but I wish I had a brain big enough to know. To be wrong either way is a heavy, heavy price to pay, and so I sit the fence, sticking toes in to test the waters on either side.

I have two questions for an atheist, the same two questions I would ask of a believer. Are you willing to go “all in“ with that belief? I see very few on either side who are (and they are usually called lunatics or saints), which leads me to believe that there are more agnostics out there than will admit.

And if you are willing to go “all in” either way, if your faith is that strong... what if you are wrong?

Yikes! God forbid you are wrong.

How do you cope with all the annoying humans? I think it’s pretty cool of you to do this challenge at all. I’d end up sinking into either a manic depression or hysterical laughter. Or both. Kudos to you, fellow atheist.

Don’t you hate it when you pass a homophobic church and they say “all welcome”, and your mind mentally adds a list of all the possible exceptions? Do you share a hatred of the word homophobic because those assholes aren’t scared, they’re just mean?

Dear Harry,

This is more of a comment than a question.

(I hope that’s ok)

Being raised Catholic my whole life, I assumed (was made to believe- is more like it) that an atheist was an ‘Un-Godly’ hollow soul.

What I was taught, is wrong!

You are a patient, fair and respectful soul...not hollow.

Who’s place is it to judge anyones beliefs?!

Certainly not mine.

I have never been a judgemental person anyway and have always kept what I was taught to myself.

I would consider myself in the minority though.

I will never forget the time I was doing a ministry with my teenage nephew. A ‘Holy’ woman started criticizing my nephew because he was wearing an AC/DC necklace. It is our favorite band.

(We listen to them on our way to Church and home.)

Needless to say my ‘auntie bear’ instinct kicked in- and being a writer, we are quicker with words than most people. I successfully (and with NO guilt) defended him.

She was embarrassed. How dare she judge my kid!

(Sister’s kid/same thing in our family)

Nobody has the right to judge anyones beliefs and all should be respectful.

That is my 2 cents-

Thank you,

Benz

Hi Harry and fellow atheists, I’m new to Prose (today makes it a week!). So far I’ve found the site fun, engaging, motivating, it’s nice to have community and a place to ground and workshop writing. This challenge touches on the one reservation I have so far.

After only a week I’m starting to suspect that I’m in a slightly less diverse crowd than I had originally believed. For awhile I was thinking that maybe I had accidently slipped into a corner of the website occupied mainly by Liberty University students or something. But I’m starting to think that what I’m seeing is more or less the norm.

At the risk of sounding intolerant I just want to say that I spend a ton of time researching and educating myself on history and socioeconomic systems of oppression and how I’ve benefited from those systems, consciously and unconsciously, in the past and even today. And even how perceptions can be grounded in those cultural superiority complexes. Deconstructing those systems and decolonizing my mind.

I’m still learning.

But I do find it difficult to be in places where belief systems are touted as fact. And so in this week I feel I’ve seen an uneven percentage of belief-based-fact supplemented as assumed truth/reality.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, as a new person in this community, how do you all feel about the way faith is presented here. Because I’ve read a few things so far that have made me feel like I was in the upside-down. Is it exhausting? Do you just look passed it? Have I actually been lost in the Prose evangelical neighborhood?

I should note that I’m also coming here from living in Austin, TX for ten years. I’m not really used to being around religion at all. And there’s a real chance I’m just overly sensitive to dogmatism of any kind. Austin is also in the center of Texas, so I’m also pretty aware of what’s out there as far as real religious intolerance goes.

Thanks for the opportunity to sort of connect with like-minded people. Just the fact that this thread exists makes me feel a little more like maybe there’s more of a balance here than my paranoia has allowed me to realize.

For the record, my name is not Margaret.

Firstly, I find this an interesting and unique challenge; so kudos to you. Secondly, I would like to apologize in advance if I offend you or any other atheists who read this, I am Christian and also someone who doesn't shut up when she needs to. My questions are, what do you believe? Like, after death, is it just infinite darkness, or will there be something? Is there some sort of higher power, or is it just humans going through the motions until the inevitable destruction of all life back into dust? Were you raised atheist or were your families practices not suitable for you? Again, I apologize if I've offended anyone, but I would love it if I could receive a few answers to my questions.

Do you not believe? Or just wish to fight religion as an easy target?

Do you not fear God's wrath? Or have you just changed it to natures wrath, or that of the cosmos? And those might keep humans destructive nature in check, but what's to keep their morality as well?

Do you not believe in afterlife because of lack of proof? Because spirituality is marketed? Or because you've never had to give a grieving mother peace and hope?

Or is it that their beliefs run back two thousand years and seem to fight progress? Because it's easier to deny religion than to evolve it, separate it or change it, like it has evolved in the past?

Or simply because you believe in the new cult of science. Pure, rude, unchecked machiavelism. Where we sacrifice our humanity for humanities sake.

The idea of karma is that everything you do will come back around. I think that requires a certain amount of belief that something that can't be explained exists. I personally believe that something is out there but I don't put an exact name to it except maybe the universe.

My question is, do you believe in karma?