our lies

are like shields

protecting us from the truth

that our hearts

are now too far apart

to beat in sync

every day

i wake up

unable to breathe

without you near me

i long to search for you

but i am trapped in a cage

and i have lost the only key

alone in the dark

my fingers

scramble for a flashlight

hoping the beam

will be a guide

so that you will come

and find me

again

*inspired by the original poem ‘echoes’ by wabisabi

In a dark sea

you are my harbor.

You keep me grounded

in my worst nightmare

Your beacon shines

through the darkest night

You have me spellbound

held in the grasp of your magic power

that I never want to leave

hey

have you seen these tracks our feet make

as they pace round and round truths that lie dead asleep?

those monsters snore so loud we can hardly hear each other speak

and sometimes i wish i had a gun to reach

so i can silence those beasts and finally find peace.

but you can't handle that grief

and i am a coward who can only retreat.

we keep pacing, silent as a grave.

i miss the sound of your voice

but you, for some reason, like how the house shakes

how we have literally no space with

these monsters scattered across the floor.

with every rotation we make our orbit widens

until the distance between us yawns wide and lonely.

so what are we to do? my heart isn't a soldier.

i am unarmed, and like a fool i have tried to cross this sea

that stretches out to the horizon where my body aches to be,

laiden in rusted chainmail i step into the waves and

realise that i've worn an anchor instead of armor.

still, my body craves that thunderous horizon

and i miss hearing your voice across from me.

but maybe if i should aim for the sun with this heavy gun

the bullet would crack over the sky and fall to nigh

what should have been all along.

these monsters need to wake, i need to walk out of the sea.

monstrous as these truths can be

we may end up broken

but at least we'll be free.

We constantly avoid the truth.

We are weaponless soldiers in this unspoken war,

and nothing can save us.

We try to use lies as shields.

We try to convince the other our feelings are nonexistent;

we almost convince ourselves.

Why are you so far away?

I'm so lonely without you,

and my life feels dark and empty.

I try to find you, but I can't.

Are you searching for me?

I send so many messages,

but you never reply.

I'm drowning in all of these lies. Are you drowning too?

I can't swim, but if it meant I could save you,

I would drown for you.

You were the air I breathed,

and the reason my heart continued to beat.

Now I'm dying without you.

I'm lost, and so are you.

Please come and find me.

You just have to look.

Waves. Even in sleep, my body drifts toward you like a boat to dock. My timid hands swimming through the crumpled bedsheets to get to you. Where are you? I am spellbound, fingers seek out foreign limbs, finding comfort in your skin. There you are, i thought i lost you. "Please don't leave me". My grip on your shirt tightens, as if knowing such an anchor will ward off those dark, haunting dreams. The sudden warmth enveloping me known as your arms causes a content sigh to leave my dry parted lips. The way you can comfort me with such a simple action astonishes me everytime. If that isn’t magic.

through the night

we separate, only to tangle

again and again

until we are

spoon in spoon

and the bed can trace the indents

of our sleepy bodies well

even in sleep, my fingertips

long for you

and the solace you bring

my body must know

that you are the focal point of my gravity

cause i keep falling into you

there are no nightmares tonight

even they must be captivated

by your magic

this,

this is a spell

i don’t mind being bound by

This isnt what I wanted...

Well naybe it is...

I dunno, this is petty

To be so attached to the likes

The comments, the views,

Maybe I shouldn't post this.

Who's even gonna look at it?

Me and my one follower?

Pathetic.

I know it's normal

For everything to not get a gold star

Or for everyone to swarm my work,

But is it abnormal to want that?

Am I being petty? Im being petty.

A part of me wants to just stop,

Pack my words up in a suitcase,

And never come back again,

But Ive tried and felt worse.

What am I saying?

Why am I even writing this?

Everyone will think Im whiny now.

No one will read my stuff now.

Though I may just be being paranoid.

Or maybe... maybe they just dont like it.

Or they just don't like me.

Oof.

Why'd I even try this in the first place?