Reflectors
Guilted reflectors
Stand face to face,
One salted with guile
One oiled in grace
Yet bearing each other
With the slightest of pace,
A stillborn empathy
Deposed from its place.
Each colored with
Obsequious aim
But bottoming out
In apathy grey,
With stilted tongues spilling
Raw words each can taste,
And each saving face,
Holdout egos
For the rainiest day.
Each like the rickety ship
Which bares
Her angular body
Of cracking groans,
An up stream fish
Once steady,
Now lost
Delivered to the inky rings
Whirling into nowhere.
Then-lost!
As it were
Captive again,
Chained to the sea
And lodged in its den.
To emptily glide,
On brackish water
And surging,
Swallow the screaming tides,
Twin heartbroken arrows
Aimless and shadowed
In darting pursuit,
To taste divine love
Not bittersweet fruit.
So love turns dead corners
Its beacon en route,
Its devil red wings,
Grown black
With death’s bruise.
But bandage the other
With Samaritan eyes
And in doing so,
The ship realigns,
Steadies her course
And now sails upright,
Guided towards glory
Graced with merciful might.
And we are the same
Far as I can tell,
For I can love you like heaven
Or hate you like hell.
And girded truth readies
Her halting heart whole
To mend all the broken
Bones of the soul.
The captor is captain
If each wants it to be,
And such lies the choice,
For love starved of need.
Forgive all their sins
And turn up cast down eyes,
And be still in the shelter;
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Captor or captain,
The wheel remains yours
And such is the choice
For each guides a course.
The ship ports at land
And tied to the mast
Is a tear written letter;
“I am home now at last”.
A Trenchant Wit
A Trenchant Wit
September 15, 2024
“If your mama had as much sticking out of her as she had sticking into her, she’d be a porcupine.”
Alex was at his best when he was at his worst.
“Light travels faster than sound. That is why you seemed intelligent until you spoke.”
“If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”
Not all enjoyed his witty repartee.
“I am jealous of all of the people who have yet to meet you.”
“You look like something I would draw with my left hand, drunk.”
Alex wanted to be liked. He wanted to be the center of attention within his small circle of friends.
Every once in a while, Alex could hold his tongue. He could walk away, knowing he permitted a prime opportunity escape.
Every once in a while.
But not today at the local pub.
There, Alex encountered someone who did not wish to participate in Reindeer games. Alex (maybe, no wait, definitely) should have read the room and passed.
But he didn’t.
Alex was patient. He waited until the other patron did something worth a comment.
“You are so useless. I would unplug your life support to recharge my cell phone.”
Soon after, shots fired.
“By that I mean, the patron took the initiative and shot Alex. We all saw it. Alex had it coming.”
I told this to the police when they arrived. The patron laid his firearm on the table and finished his beer before turning himself in.
Alex lay bleeding on the floor. Eyes open. Shock on his face as if rigor mortis already set in.
My friends gathered to confer. We had to say something before they took Alex away.
I gave it my best shot.
“Roadhouse.”
The bar’s crickets came out in droves for the next few moments.
At least the beer was cold.
The Weight of Stones
The Weight of Stones
Marcus stared at the crumpled newspaper clipping in his trembling hand. Even after five years, the words still burned:
"Local Teen Killed in Hit-and-Run"
He swallowed hard, his throat constricting around the lump of guilt that never seemed to go away. The faces of Sarah Thompson's parents flashed in his mind - their anguished cries at the funeral, their pleas on the local news for the driver to come forward.
But he never did.
Instead, he ran. He abandoned his scholarship to State, his dreams of becoming an engineer. He cut ties with everyone he knew and vanished into the anonymity of the big city. For five years he'd drifted from one menial job to the next, trying to outrun his conscience.
But the weight of what he'd done crushed him more with each passing day. He couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. The guilt was a cancer eating him from the inside out.
He knew what he had to do. What he should have done years ago.
With shaking hands, he dialed the number.
"Millbrook Police Department, how may I direct your call?"
Marcus took a deep breath. "I...I need to confess to a crime."
Detective Alan Reeves drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, stealing sidelong glances at the young man in his passenger seat. In his twenty years on the force, he'd seen plenty of perps brought to justice. But he'd never had one turn themselves in out of the blue for a years-old cold case.
The kid - Marcus Ellis - had shown up at the station that morning, haggard and hollow-eyed. He'd confessed to the hit-and-run that killed Sarah Thompson five years ago. Alan remembered that case. He'd been the lead detective, had promised the grieving parents he'd find who was responsible.
But the trail went cold. No witnesses. No physical evidence. The case haunted Alan for years.
And now here was the perpetrator, delivering himself to face justice.
"You know you're facing some serious charges," Alan said, breaking the tense silence. "Vehicular manslaughter. Leaving the scene of an accident. Why come forward now after all this time?"
Marcus stared out the window, his voice barely above a whisper. "I couldn't live with it anymore. The guilt...it was killing me. Sarah deserves justice. Her family deserves closure."
Alan's jaw tightened. Part of him wanted to rail at this kid, to make him feel the full weight of the pain he'd caused. But there was something in Marcus's demeanor - a bone-deep weariness, a palpable self-loathing - that gave Alan pause.
This wasn't a hardened criminal. This was a broken man crushed by the burden of his choices.
"Well," Alan said gruffly, "I can't say I agree with running. But turning yourself in, owning up to what you did - that takes guts."
Marcus turned to him, eyes glistening. "Do you...do you think her family will ever be able to forgive me?"
Alan sighed heavily. "I don't know, son. That's not for me to say. But facing them, facing what you've done - it's the right thing to do. It's the only way to start making amends."
They lapsed back into silence as they neared their destination. Alan found himself hoping, against all his cynical instincts as a cop, that some measure of healing might come from this for all involved.
Elizabeth Thompson's hands shook as she set down her teacup. She stared at her husband Robert across the kitchen table, trying to process what he'd just told her.
"They caught him?" she whispered. "After all this time?"
Robert nodded, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "Detective Reeves called. Said the guy turned himself in this morning. Confessed to everything."
A maelstrom of emotions churned inside Elizabeth - shock, anger, grief. For five years they'd wondered who had stolen their precious daughter's life, had prayed for answers. Now those prayers were answered in the most unexpected way.
"What...what happens now?" she asked.
"There'll be a trial," Robert said. "Detective Reeves said the DA is pushing for the maximum sentence."
Elizabeth's hands clenched into fists. Part of her cried out for vengeance, wanted this man to suffer as they had suffered. But another part of her, the part that still clung to her faith despite everything, whispered of forgiveness.
Sarah had been their miracle child. After years of failed fertility treatments, they'd given up hope of ever having a baby. Then Elizabeth got pregnant against all odds.
Sarah had been the light of their lives for 17 years. She'd inherited Elizabeth's artistic talent and Robert's quick wit. Her future had been so bright.
And then she was gone. Struck down by a careless driver who fled the scene, leaving her broken body in the street.
The loss nearly destroyed them. Robert threw himself into his work, staying late at the office to avoid coming home to an empty house. Elizabeth quit her job, unable to face teaching art classes without her daughter's sunny presence.
Their marriage teetered on the brink of collapse. Only their shared grief kept them together, two drowning people clinging to each other in a stormy sea.
Slowly, painfully, they'd begun to heal. Elizabeth started volunteering at the community center, teaching art to underprivileged kids. Robert joined a support group for grieving parents. They'd even talked about possibly trying to have another child.
And now this. The wound ripped open anew.
"I want to see him," Elizabeth said suddenly.
Robert blinked in surprise. "What?"
"The man who killed our daughter. I want to look him in the eye. I need to understand why he did it. Why he ran."
Robert reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "Are you sure? It might be too painful."
Elizabeth met his gaze, steel in her eyes. "I'm sure. I need this. For closure. For Sarah."
Robert nodded slowly. "Okay. I'll call Detective Reeves and set it up."
As Robert went to make the call, Elizabeth closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. For strength. For guidance.
And, to her surprise, for the man who had taken her daughter's life.
Marcus sat rigid in the hard plastic chair, his heart hammering against his ribs. The small room in the county jail felt suffocating. Or maybe that was just the weight of his guilt.
The door opened. Marcus's breath caught in his throat as Sarah's parents walked in.
He'd seen their faces countless times in newspaper articles and TV interviews over the years. But nothing prepared him for the reality of their presence. The lines of grief etched into their faces. The pain in their eyes that mirrored his own.
"Mr. and Mrs. Thompson," he croaked, "I...I'm so sorry."
Robert Thompson's face hardened. He opened his mouth, but his wife laid a gentle hand on his arm.
"Why?" Elizabeth asked softly. "Why did you leave her there?"
Marcus's eyes burned with unshed tears. "I was scared. I'd been drinking at a party. I knew I shouldn't drive, but I thought I was okay. When I hit Sarah, I...I panicked. I just wanted it not to be real."
He looked down at his shaking hands. "I've relived that moment every day for five years. I know nothing I say can bring Sarah back or ease your pain. But I want you to know how deeply sorry I am. I'd give anything to trade places with her."
Silence fell over the room. Marcus braced himself for their anger, their condemnation. He deserved nothing less.
To his shock, he felt a warm hand cover his own. He looked up to see Elizabeth, tears streaming down her face.
"I forgive you," she whispered.
Marcus gaped at her in disbelief. Robert looked equally stunned.
"Elizabeth," he started to protest.
She silenced him with a look. "I forgive you," she repeated to Marcus. "Not because you deserve it. But because I need to. For my own peace. For Sarah."
She squeezed his hand. "Sarah believed there was good in everyone. She'd want me to forgive you."
Marcus broke down then, great heaving sobs wracking his body. Five years of pent-up guilt and self-loathing poured out of him.
"I'm sorry," he choked out between sobs. "I'm so, so sorry."
To his amazement, he felt arms encircle him. Elizabeth held him as he wept, her own tears falling into his hair.
Robert watched the scene unfold, a war of emotions raging inside him. Part of him wanted to lash out, to make this man feel every ounce of pain they'd endured. But seeing his wife's compassion softened something in him.
He thought of Sarah - her infectious laugh, her boundless empathy. What would she want?
Slowly, hesitantly, he stepped forward and laid a hand on Marcus's shoulder.
"I'm not there yet," he said gruffly. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully forgive you. But I'm willing to try."
Marcus raised his tear-stained face, overwhelmed by their grace. "Thank you," he whispered. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. But I promise you, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of it."
As the three of them embraced, Marcus felt something he hadn't experienced in five long years.
Hope.
The next few months passed in a blur of legal proceedings. Marcus pled guilty to all charges, refusing any plea deals. He was sentenced to seven years in prison.
As the bailiff led him away after sentencing, he locked eyes with the Thompsons in the gallery. They gave him small nods of acknowledgement. It wasn't absolution, but it was a start.
Marcus threw himself into every rehabilitation and education program the prison offered. He earned his GED, then started taking college courses. He volunteered for work duty, determined to make something positive of his time behind bars.
The Thompsons kept in touch through letters and occasional visits. Their relationship was complicated, fraught with painful history. But slowly, tentatively, healing began to take root.
Elizabeth told Marcus about the Sarah Thompson Memorial Scholarship they'd established. Each year, it sent a promising young artist to college. Marcus vowed that once he was released, he'd find a way to contribute to the scholarship fund.
Robert shared that he'd started speaking to high school students about the dangers of drunk driving. Marcus offered to tell his story as part of Robert's presentations once he was out. Robert said he'd consider it.
Three years into his sentence, Marcus got life-changing news. Thanks to his exemplary behavior and the support of the Thompsons, he was granted early release.
As he stepped out of the prison gates, blinking in the bright sunlight of freedom, he found the Thompsons waiting for him.
"We thought you might need a ride," Elizabeth said with a small smile.
Marcus's eyes welled with tears of gratitude. "Thank you. For everything."
Robert clapped him on the shoulder. "You've got a second chance, son. Don't waste it."
"I won't," Marcus vowed. "I promise."
As they drove away from the prison, Marcus felt the burden he'd carried for so long begin to lighten. He knew he'd never fully shed the weight of what he'd done. But for the first time in eight years, he dared to hope for a future.
A future where he could honor Sarah's memory by living the best life possible. A future where healing and redemption were possible, even in the face of unthinkable tragedy.
It wouldn't be easy. The road ahead was long and fraught with challenges. But as Marcus looked at the Thompsons - these two incredible people who had found the strength to forgive the unforgivable - he knew he wasn't walking that road alone.
Ten Years Later
Marcus stood at the podium, gazing out at the sea of young faces before him. He took a deep breath, drawing strength from the supportive presence of Robert and Elizabeth Thompson seated in the front row.
"My name is Marcus Ellis," he began, "and ten years ago, I killed someone."
A hush fell over the auditorium. Marcus saw shock and curiosity flicker across the students' faces. Good. He had their attention.
"I was a lot like many of you," he continued. "Senior in high school. Star athlete. Bright future ahead of me. I thought I was invincible."
His voice caught. Even after all these years, this part was never easy.
"I was wrong. One night of stupid choices destroyed everything. I got behind the wheel after drinking at a party. I struck and killed a beautiful young woman named Sarah Thompson. And then I fled the scene like a coward."
Marcus paused, letting his words sink in. In the front row, Elizabeth dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. Robert squeezed her hand.
"I'm here to tell you that your choices have consequences," Marcus went on. "Sometimes those consequences are irreversible. I robbed Sarah of her life. I caused unimaginable pain to her family and friends. And I threw away my own future."
He gestured to the Thompsons. "But I'm also here to tell you about the power of forgiveness. These two incredible people found it in their hearts to forgive me for the unforgivable. Their compassion gave me a second chance at life."
Marcus smiled softly. "I can never undo what I did. But I've dedicated my life to honoring Sarah's memory and trying to prevent others from making the same mistakes I did."
He told them about the outreach program he'd started, speaking at schools and youth groups about the dangers of drunk driving. He shared how he'd finally earned his engineering degree and now donated a portion of his salary to the Sarah Thompson Memorial Scholarship.
"Your choices matter," he concluded. "Choose wisely. And if you mess up, own it. Take responsibility. It's never too late to try to make things right."
As applause filled the auditorium, Marcus stepped down from the podium. Elizabeth enfolded him in a warm hug.
"Sarah would be proud," she whispered.
Robert shook his hand firmly. "You're doing good work, Marcus. Keep it up."
Marcus nodded, his throat tight with emotion. "Thank you both. For everything."
As they left the auditorium together, Marcus marveled at the journey that had brought them here. From tragedy to forgiveness to purpose.
The weight of what he'd done would always be with him. But it no longer threatened to crush him. Instead, it drove him forward, pushing him to make a positive difference in the world.
He couldn't change the past. But every day, he strove to be worthy of the second chance he'd been given. To live a life that would have made Sarah proud.
It wasn't happily ever after. The pain and loss would always linger. But it was something perhaps more valuable - hard-won peace and the promise of a better tomorrow.
As they stepped out into the sunshine, Marcus sent up a silent prayer of gratitude. For forgiveness. For redemption. For the chance to transform an unforgivable sin into a force for good in the world.
One day at a time, one life at a time, he would keep moving forward. It was the very least he could do.
You
i owe you myself
you buffed up teddy who lived for all
today when i remember you
to be honest i dont think i am anymore
it took years to be here
it will take years to be where you were
but trust me even if i defied and defied and defied
i did so because i didnt know who i was
now i know
i am you and i will always be you
and now i must also walk on salt
The Toymaker’s Treasure
Once a young girl visited the local shop where the kind elderly man there made teddy bears with his own hands.
She was extremely excited as she walked inside the shopkeeper’s large workshop and was greeted by a seemingly endless sight of hundreds of beautifully crafted smiling teddy bears.
However, after excitedly peering around the shop in starry eyed admiration, she noticed one rather rough looking bear that stood quite conspicuously to her from amongst all the others.
This bear was stitched all over and wore rugged patches that were faded by the march of time.
She reached for him and then rather bluntly said to the shopkeeper;
''It looks like you've done a beautiful job of making your bears and taking care of them, but why is this bear so neglected?
He's been ripped all over and is covered with so many ugly patches!''.
The girl’s mother flushed with embarrassment and was taken aback by her little daughter’s rather terse words, but the tender hearted and kindly shopkeeper simply smiled.
Walking from behind his antiquated work bench with hobbled steps, he gently took the tattered bear from the young girl's hands and held the patch covered bear ever so closely to his chest.
In fact, with eyes closed, he took a few seconds of deeply reflective poise as tears rolled down the rough leather of his wizened cheeks.
He paused softly, head now bowed in an almost hushed reverence.
As hundreds of his bears seemed to look on at their creator, he finally broke the solemn silence and gently said;
“Why this bear knows my love greatest of all.
For every patch was put on him by my own hands many times.
You see, no other bear here has received such greater love and care, though advancing years has worn him down to what you fear to hold.
He is older than time but wears love over his scars.
This one is so very very special and I do believe he is ready for one such as you, for you are the only child who has ever even acknowledged his presence, as hundreds of other children have passed this one by.”
The little girl’s heart swelled to match her oversized eyes, as a smile grew wide upon her face.
She reached up for the patched up bear, and as she then hugged him dreamily, one could not help but think that the bear himself quickly smiled then fell asleep in her adoring arms.
The old shopkeeper’s words kept ringing through her excited thoughts as she walked out the door, head buried in the pillowed belly of her newfound furry friend;
“Older than time, but wears love over his scars”.
She smiled like the sun.