Picture young lovers

Sitting on a pavement seat

Masked and booted

Joining heartbeats

Sure they are suited;

Teenage angst battling

Against official attempts

To keep them apart.

This is a moment

They don’t want to miss;

Someone loves them

And time’s slipping away.

So every few seconds

They feel more immune

The masks lift

And time and risk stop

For a meeting of lips.

I've been through a lot of shit

But that's made me stronger

I'm nearly brand new

The healthier live longer

I have siblings

They mean the world to me

I live for them

To my heart

They have the key

I've broken so many times

But my mom has helped me

So have the rhymes

Like the ones you see

It's not for my friends

Since I don't have any

They come and go

Because they're rich

And I barely have a penny

I live to one day prove

I have a brain

To the country I'll move

And I won't take money in vain

So that's why

I keep living

This is a memory

I don't like to visit often

I was only 14

When I lost my innocence

But the story doesn't start there

It doesn't start that day

Or even with that boy

It starts when I was real little

Not knowing much about the world

Not yet knowing it's cruelty

Or it's people

The perves and creepes

The disgusting hands

That liked to touch me

I didn't know it was wrong

I didn't know to say "Stop"

I didn't like it

But I thought it was normal

Doesn't that thought make you sick?

All those boys who touched me

Telling me it was okay

I can't believe I couldn't see

All I could do was pray

I was abused

Physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally

No wonder I'm so used to getting used

Then I met this boy

He was nothing special

I swear

He just wanted what they all do

And he knew I was vulnerable

So one night

At 3 a.m

We did it

Unprotected

I was scared I might be pregnant

And when he heard this

He left me

My parents were pissed

But I  was alone

Cuz I got myself into this

The tests all came back

Negative

Which is good

Because I couldn't live

With his kid

Two months later

I met a boy

We fell in love

I was just a used toy

But he didn't care

Until he left me

Now I'm alone

Again

But who needs a heart or home

When you have a pen

He is Ridiculous,

He acts Ludicrous.

He is senseless,

He words are pointless.

He thinks Humorous,

He behaves Hilarious

You can’t possibly know

that I’ve figured you out.

I won’t fall for cunning ruses

won’t wash feet of filth

won’t take dreadful abuse

your angry words

your demeaning lies

your cheating ways.

In fact, you’ll be

a distant memory

that won’t be repeated.

You’ll see my back

Walking out your door

in lilting bounce steps.

I know this now

but you do not!

Not that I know this

But whenever I tried to speak

I've always felt unheard

Should it be a friend

Or a stranger

Courage was never my forte

Always slipping back

To a stream of anxiety

Should I feel happy

Or sad

When it's time to face the world

I could only pray

For my caged heart

To be free and full of courage

For the world to hear

And myself to assure

I don't like men who smoke. 

I don't like men who liquefy the idea of six-packs into the form of Bud Light.

I don't like men who spend their days at the pub, washing down little blue pills with one more swig of carbonated charm. 

I don't like men who cat-call and tell me they won't go home unless I come with them, even though I know I would run into their wife if I did.

I don't, I swear I don't.

They tell me my hair makes me look a little bit older. 

I never used to drink, now it's hard to be sober.

They always smell like they just showered instead of a week-long battle with their roommate over who would get the hot water.

I don't like it of course, obviously it's not appropriate.

I think I better leave before something happens that I might regret.

Something like honey whiskey kicking in.

Something like menthols dancing on whisps of liquor breath.

Something like glances across the bar that linger a second too long.

Glass up, eyes lock, scrawled handwriting on a credit slip spelling out an address.

Salt spills over the edge of a beverage napkin, but I don't think it's good luck.