Love is love.

Though we call each other rude names

or sometimes fight

or yell at each other over the telephone

know that, no matter what, I will always love you.

Forever.

That’s the meaning of love to me.

Fucking fucktoids, I love saying the word fuck. It is perfect for any fucking situation. Hare your fucking mother in law? Fuck her! Fucking want to get laid? Go find someone to fucking fuck. Finally get those fucking concert tickets after fucking waiting for a fucking hour for some fucktard radio host to fucking ask you the simplest shit on earth? Fuck yeah! Now, we're going to fucking go see Katy Perry in fucking Illinois. I've never fucking been to Illinois (Maury determined that's a fucking lie), so I'm so fucking excited. For fuck's sake I'm so easily fucking distracted. Anyway, fuck is the best fucking word on this whole fu-- Oh fuck, was this one of those fucking "PG only" challenges? Fuck!

For: Rémy

Feels like a firework

firing away

a nuclear

iv drip

night and day

ever since 

i saw 

your flickering flame

Feelings from July

coattails and the

start of rain...

a merengue pulse

with fireflies 

and debris

that fell 

our way

Drops of sweat

sweet upon the cheek

emptied of

a caress and torn

free at the breast,

a corsage of petals

burst in palpitation,

and fear of old age

The waning of 

the moon

into something

altogether unknown

anciently 

divined and

somehow

new

©

4/25/20

Bunny & Mavia Villaire

The boy who cried wolf,

he never heard the wolf cry

when the villagers would come

and the wolf waited to die.

Staring forlorn

up at the cold moon,

he howls each night

his lonely tune.

His song shivers

down your spine,

and around your heart

will entwine

his tears

they pin-prick

your heart will sear

at this feeling

so silently clear.

Hush your mind

tip-toe, tip-toe,

if you choose

to hear the wolf's

story of woe.

His howl makes

the sleeping trees dance

the moon will cry

and the wind come prance

We hear these things

as they whisper and move,

but no one ever hears

the cry of the wolf. ❋

Mom (if at least today, you let me be your daughter)

Emergency exits are highly underrated. No matter how happy you think you are, there will always be that little shadow of a disgusting moment that will ruin everything and make you question the whole point of your blessed existence...

Suicide is always referred to as if it wasn’t a solution. Well, that's true, but sometimes it turns out to be a damn good alternative. Every time I feel sad, I try to get out of a possible depression with the promise of a better life that is yet to come, but it never seems to arrive and I'm getting sick and tired of waiting for it. I'm beginning to lose hope... Sometimes I just want to disappear, fade into a deep haze of something unknown and different, especially the latter: different. At this point, I do not care if it's better or worse, I'm just so exhausted of fighting the same things, I'm about to wave the white flag of surrender.

I'm running out of tears and feelings, but I do not want to grow numb... I do not want that for me; but it’s hard to avoid it when the people you love do not trust you and believe you capable of the most horrible of things ... What is left to live when your own mother thinks your word is worthless?

I spend much more time questioning my life than actually living it, and I do not want to continue like this, if this situation goes on, well, I have only one option left... and I honestly, I’m not sure if you’re going to like it or not.

My whole life is just a pathetic collection of some happy moments, but I cling to them as hard as I can, because that's the only thing that keeps me going...

I don’t know what a person thinks when they’re about to die ... in the mistakes they’ve made? In the goals never achieved? How much will everyone else miss them and would mourn their absence? Well, I'll find out soon enough, when the time comes… But I do know that the moment when all which separates me from death is a thin weak line, I would like to feel happy, remembering the good (though little, perhaps) things I have lived, and even although I’ll be frightened and trembling, my tears will be my redemption; I will close my eyes and imagine that this is not the end but a brand new beginning in a more beautiful place, which, even if it is not true, I think it will make me face it with a little more courage.

When there is an imminent death, you have to face your destiny with dignity and resignation; because there is nothing worse for a human being than the feeling of impotence, of not being able to do anything about it, but we always have a choice, we can choose to leave with grace, and make the experience as pleasant as possible. These are demonstrations of love and human strength, which make me have faith that there is salvation for our race.

Mother, do not judge or think that I give up when I docilely enter my grave ... when, after all you have read, you see your child become an inert body, do not think I have died ... for I shall be born again.

I wanted coffee.

So I decided to make a cup of coffee.

I use the pour over kind, don't ask me why,

      and not the machine, but it was dirty at the bottom of a full sink.

And the dishwasher was full of clean dishes that needed emptied

     before the dirty ones could go in.

So that I could put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher,

     and reach the pour over coffee maker,

          down at the bottom of a dirty sink,

              so I could make a cup of coffee.

I took the clean dishes out of the dishwasher one by one, and started to put them away.

     but then I heard my Facebook messaging notification ding.

         Oh I wonder what that could say?

It was a family who was coming today to get my son's old bassinet

      He had never even slept in it, but I was still sad,

           but they were giving me twenty dollars, so I was glad.

Back to the kitchen sink.

Emptying the clean dishes one by one.

Soon I would surely be done.

"Mom! The baby needs a diaper change!" my middle son shouts.

I continue emptying the dishes, hoping he would leave me be.

"Mom! He stinks! He's right next to me!"

Sigh. I'll just change him real quick, and it'll be done in no time.

Maybe instead of coffee, I should just skip to the glass of wine.

Back to the kitchen sink.

Emptying the clean dishes one by one.

Soon I would surely be done.

Oh, no. What if the family who is coming to get the bassinet can't find us? I thought, worriedly. I better send them more info in a hurry!

Back to the computer, where I also noticed I had an email.

Oh my goodness, I began to wail.

It was an important email from my sons' teacher who was assessing their homeschool portfolios and needed photos of them doing science projects, on field trips, and more.

Oh, my brain began to roar.

I spent the next fifteen minutes gathering up photos to send.

Oh, this was never going to end.

Back to the kitchen sink.

Emptying the clean dishes one by one.

Soon I would surely be done.

The clean dishes were put away

So I filled the dishwasher with the dirty ones

Soon I would surely be done.

At last, the dishes were nice and clean

And the pour over coffee maker no longer at the bottom of the sink.

The water was heating up in the tea kettle.

And my nerves began to settle.

Finally, coffee aroma filled the room

    and flowers all around me started to bloom

A symphony began to sing

    and no more facebook notifications pinged and dinged

I held the hot mug in my hands

    and did a little inner dance

I gobbled down the liquid fast.

    Coffee at last.

My body was screaming.      

      What had I done?

Then I felt

warm

     numb

          sleepy.

The pain was gone.

I was gone.

In complete and total darkness.

I had known darkness, but this, this was real darkness, swallowing my entire being.

There I was for what felt like ages, in the dark womb. It smelled of dirt. Blood.

A light flickered somewhere off into the distant unknown. It was out as suddenly as it appeared. Then back again, becoming brighter and brighter, until it consumed me whole.

But what was me ?

The light filled me with warmth

        and so much love. Like my mother's kiss. My father's hug.

I suddenly remembered. I am not my body.

I am the soul that dwells within.

I heard you in the back of his truck, giggling.

I knew what was going on. I always knew.

I knew when I would crawl into bed with you because I had another nightmare.

You two were naked.

Disgusting.

I knew because I wanted to watch Spongebob, but found a girl on a screen taking dick.

Four years old.

You stayed with him for what? The drugs probably. Or maybe it was the great sex. Maybe it was both. It doesn't matter why. He hit me while he was hitting you. 

"You shouldn't have got in his way."

I knew when his son slipped his hands into my pants at age five.

I still remember that day. It gives me nightmares.

And what happened to my molester?

Two months parole.

And you sat there crying. I should've been crying.

But I stayed strong because you needed me.

And I needed a childhood.

But I will never get it back.

                  Imagine

    A world of only scientists

                  Einstein

                  Newton

                  Pastuer

  Imagine a world with no artists

                 Shakespeare

                 J.K.Rowling

                  Beethoven

                      MJ

Imagine a world with no entertainment, no

                  Hamilton

                 Sharapova

           Venessa Williams

               A world with no

                Mohammed Ali 

                Nelson mandela 

                      Only 

                 Archimedes

                    Aristotle

                         &

              Charles Darwin

            Imagine a world

With no religion to give us hope

No poets to remind us the folly of life

No painters to show us what beauty is

and musicians to calm the beasts in us

Would you love to live in such a world?

I wouldn't.