Longest human connection

I have is with my Mother

She is my angel on earth

An unbreakable bond

We share & have had since

The first moment of my life

Her wonderful singing voice

Ever calms my spirit and

Mom’s hugs are the best

Read to me bed time stories

To my little sister ’nd I

Took such great care of us

My role model

Parent, Guardian, best friend

Nurse, Doctor-& much mor’

#AngelinDisguise

#SuperMama

#Motherhood

My child cries in the night. Nine out of ten times I can calm her. Nine out of ten times I can get her back down for the night. The one in ten times is another story entirely.

If you've ever been amidst a terrible storm, holding tight to the ground for fear of being swept away, then you understand the force of my daughter's cries and the helplessness I feel when she does. She shrieks in my ear. Tears roll down her cheeks. I hold her tight. I sing to her. I rock her. I walk her. I tell that everything will be alright, that this too shall pass. And still the cries like her world has shattered.

In swoops momma and scoops her daughter from my arms. That gentle touch is all it takes. The storm calms, the world is remade. I swear she falls asleep before her head is against her mother's chest.

I stand there, pride wounded, wondering what sort of sorcery she used, for surely it must be that. I am just a man, how can I possibly comprehend the bond between a woman and her child?

1. Mother knows best.

No, she does not.

2. A child is better off with their mother.

Not inherently true.

3. No one loves a child like their mother.

Maybe, but that doesn't mean a mother loves the child the "best".

4. A mother wants what is best for her children.

And also what is best for herself, her reputation, her own values and viewpoints.

5. When you become a mom you just know what to do.

No you don't, please take some classes and ask for help.

6. Being a mom is an incredibly underrated, underappreciated job.

Maybe if you don't have nannies and birth control.

7. It would be easier being a mom if dad would help out more.

And grandparents. And friends. And neighbors. And senators. It takes a village.

8. You'll thank your mom for this one day.

Probably not.

9. Your mom hopes you have a child just like yourself and suffer the way she has suffered.

Yes, you already know this. Jokes on her because you're getting sterilized!

10. Being a mom is the best job in the world.

So is being a single, childless CEO cowgirl astronaut pinup spy.

#Challenge #Motherhood

Being a mother is a choice. Being a mother is a privilege. I never thought I would have a child until he happened, he was not planned but I love him just the same. My son is a chance to make things right with myself. To teach him how to be a kind loving person and to treat others with respect and dignity. He has done that and continues to prove to me that I am raising him the right way. Every little thing I do is for my son. Every breathe I take is for him. I live for him. My son is the future.

Short

Falling

Fast

Falling

Totally

Falling

Hard

Falling

Madly

Falling

Deeply

Falling

Irrevocably

Falling

In love

In my younger years I wasn't sure and I wasn't worried. 'Maybe someday, maybe not,' I thought. Either option made me anxious, but the thought of having to choose scared me the most. Now that I'm in my 30s and this unknown illness doesn't seem to be going away, I try to avoid thinking about it.

Can I get pregnant? If I do can I carry a baby to full term? Would either of us be healthy enough to survive childbirth, and if so what kind of life would my baby be left with? Her health could be so much worse than mine if this illness is what they think it might be.

I want to cry when I have to think about it. Whenever I see or hear something that reminds me I may never get the chance to be a mother, I want to break down. We used to talk about adopting, but that was when I could still go for a run. That seems like a different lifetime. Now that any and all movement threatens to steal my breath and I can barely walk on a good day without having an attack, I don't know how I could care for a child. I can't even care for myself.

He's not doing well either. He's struggling through every day. Anxiety, depression, and thoughts of suicide threaten to end him. It's hard to watch. I try my best to take care of him, but honestly I need someone to take care of me. We love each other. We do our best, but in the constant struggle I can't imagine where we could possibly fit a child.

Then there's the question I dread the most. It shouldn't be acceptable to ask, and yet every woman hears it so often. "When are you going to start a family?" That and thoughtless comments like, "clocks ticking." Why are things like this considered ok? It's such a personal and sensitive topic with so many variables. Why is ok to turn my vulnerability into small talk? Close friends might be one thing, but extended family, acquaintances, total strangers? I can't be the only one who finds this invasive and unacceptable.

What motherhood means to me is heartache. It's a deep sad longing about what might have been, and likely will never be. It's the loneliness that threatens my future and the bitterness of knowing that the thing I wanted the most out of life, a chance at a happy family, is out of my reach.

Sometimes there's so much shit involved,

Their incidents just go unsolved.

You're about to growl at 'em; tell 'em off good,

But you stop yourself just as you knew that you would...

'Cause you catch that absurdly unique little smile,

And you're reminded... that somehow it's all still worth while.

Motherhood is

Always scary

A lot of messy

And a little hairy

Some times are

Light and airy

And other times

It’s loud canaries

Early mornings and

Goodnight Hail Marys

Motherhood is

Legendary

You’ll get some tears

But they’ll vary

Some are shared

With stress and sherry

Others come with

Joy and merry

There are struggles

Fights and tearing

But also laughter

Love and caring

Motherhood is

Life sharing

It is not

Temporary

To your kids

You’re necessary

They depend on

Your unitary

And you’re paid

Honorary

With their hugs

And wet raspberries

Motherhood though

Is monetary

You’ll pay bills

Like a secretary

Do the shopping

Buy so much dairy

Call the doctors

And coach Larry

Handle dinner

Like a culinary

You’ll be a teacher

And the apothecary

But motherhood is

Is confectionary

So much sweetness

But dietary

You’ll share cuddles

Under blankets buried

With kisses on top

Like candy cherries

Tickle time is

A sanctuary

Motherhood is

Extraordinary

Little one, I hear your breath,

See you shudder as you rest—

Your translucent eyelids closed,

Your delicate mouth a tiny 'o'

Little do you know…

I will spend my very life,

Make every needed sacrifice,

I will uphold your dignity,

Whatever the cost may be to me,

I will feed you with my own food,

Hold you till your fear's subdued,

Clothe you with my own clothes

Heal your hurts and hear your woes,

I will make you feel that you are loved

When others say you aren't enough,

I will listen to you when you speak

Remind you to choose words lovingly,

Hold you to a higher standard,

Hug you when you're feeling battered,

Offer you a cup of tea,

Watch a movie with you, or three,

Scold you when you are wrong,

Sing with you your favorite song,

All this and more I'd do for you,

and each one of your siblings too.

And as you all grow and learn to live,

One more thing to you I'll give:

I will teach you how to love all others,

Especially the ones who have no mothers.

I didn't know love until I heard my son's first cry,

there in the hospital room.

That cry held infinity within it.

That cry made worlds move.

That cry grabbed my heart and squeezed

and squeezed

until all I could do was sob with joy.

And oh,

when I help him in my arms the first time.

Oh, his skin was angel soft

so new.

Not yet marred by the worlds cruelties.

Suddenly, as I thought of the great, big world

outside the hospitals walls,

the cold hands of fear grabbed hold

of my heart.

How was I gonna save him from the shadows of

the world?

How could I keep him from all the pain of life?

I knew it would be impossible.

But from the moment I heard his first baby cry

I knew I had to try.