For the first time in a long time, the world is calm

Yes, the waves are cold and scrutinizing and imperceptibly fast

But we can taste the mist,

The four of us

The coastline stretches on for miles

I take pictures of all of you, because I don’t know how else to love you

Two of us, wise beyond our years

Two of us, young and free

I stood in the saltwater waiting for you here

It was too cold to swim and I laughed when one of you forgot your shirt and wandering eyes followed you in confusion when it started to rain

We got wet anyways

Stripped down to my underwear in forty degree weather

Soaked jeans and sandpaper flip flops and

we’re all just children masquerading the grown—

listening to Jimi Hendrix on the ride home and talking about the election

The fog’s coming up on the edges of the world

But that’s okay, because, just for a moment, we’ll be here

who loved me with every fiber

wishing I took more photos curled on the sofa laughing at comedies

or glances on date nights bowling remember I had cotton candy on my hand a sneaky stare your eyes held a different hunger 

I looked for proof in a frame of those eyes that promised the moon and mars. 

dissolving memories those eyes are gone replaced with ice they look at me only with disgust

I hate myself again

not just forgetting those eyes of love but also the past version of myself who believed in forever for us

 my heart learning something new 

the feeling of breaking

the illusions

of us

If time was like the music which springs from our soul...

then we would be symphonies of life instead of just fools getting old.

For life is more then only beautiful, it's a song we call our own.

If life was just another dream we saw only at night

Then how would we to see the beauty of first light?

For life is more than just a dream to surrender

When ends the night..,

And time is the music that plays into our soul.

If tears marks the place between yesterday and today

Then music is the hope that keeps us from going astray,

The realization that with every new dawn

Comes the promise of a new day.

If time was the magic of lifetimes beginnings and endings..,

Of the lovers' gentle touch and friendships that never end...

Then tomorrow and yesterday become illusions of the mind...

And the magic becomes the music of the soul.

If love was the heartbeat of the all of one's soul...

Then the nights are never cold

Our dreams will dare to sustain us.

Then our life times are never so hard

As we learn we are never really alone.

If the music of life was a song that we could all hear

Would you add to it's music with the words

That come from the depths of your soul,

Words only your heart ever knows?

The music of life, the beauty behind your smile,

The fire burning behind your eyes, the heart beat of your soul...

Share the music, let it go, let it flow..,

For when you do the whole world is yours to hold.

Paid in Full

June 23, 2024

She set the date

She bought the gown

She booked the church

She designed the invitations

She created the Facebook page for the event

She registered at a variety of stores and websites

She reserved the plane tickets and hotel in Maui

She paid the caterer and staff

She made sure to tip the minister in advance

Everyone and everything is bought and paid for

Just one person missing

i thought that we would never speak again

but i am the stanza on your tombstone

the stanza with purple must of a teenage jacaranda

muddy coats on pulse paramount

we will never kiss again this i know

but you have immortalised yourself beyond

any day i may have not lived

Energy

Waking up and feeling your presence.

Dear God, I'm grateful for your presents.

Whether thorns or flowers, I'll accept with gratitude,

will land in your arms after slipping from high altitude.

Bowing, surrendering everything to you.

All is part of your plan, you've thought it through.

Don't believe in luck but you I believe in,

have all the powers, you can end, you can begin.

We are here to live a life you think we deserve,

you not only see my actions but unsaid words you hear.

I forage

Through the loneliness

Of your castle,

Where temperamental walls

Encircle me,

With a charge of witchy groans,

As stone and mortar

Crumble in a hobbled last stand.

Your ring of wasps

Stir a crazed strobe

Of cherry flame hurricane,

The bloodthirsty bounty,

A maddened strike

To barter for my unpeeled heart,

And hive rage

Her devouring cloud.

And the rummaged trove

Of cherub spangled charity,

Empties grief’s mist

Of smoke halo kisses,

Snaking through your fork tongued floors.

I find your bone framed picture,

Washed out by sun

And starved of doting eye,

Punishing the mirrored sentiment

Worn away in loveless erosion.

The mould and element throttled plastic skin,

An embarrassed coffin

In which the lingering incense

Threatens to take me captive

To the endless ballet

Of its perfumed tragedies.

And I sink at your harbour,

Through filmy shackles of fen,

Wingless and staid

Upon your hypnotic cradle,

Until I plunge back to life,

The baptism of shipwrecked funerals,

A seizure of thunder shuddered reckoning,

That sails hope’s shocked craft

Far from the blackened mounds

And gutted grounds

Of slaughtered memories.

Your grey sky kingdom topples into weeping ashes.

Max closed the door and began walking. The street was abuzz with pedestrians and traffic. But it made no impression on him. He was consumed with inner demons. Every thought stung like sleet in winter's icy wind. He never put his whole heart into anything. Never finished anything. Projects left hanging. Relationships abandoned. Ideas never pursued. This time was different. This time he'd finish the story. Upon reaching the corner of Fifth and Orleans, Max paused and looked left. When the first semi-truck came barreling toward the intersection, he jumped in front of it. Max was killed in an eyeblink.

Whence this much change

shoots out

the slots,

I'm lucky

lucky...

too lucky!

so I thought

to count the cents

chips, and quarter pasts,

the tinted glass

downed

I pull my shades

and all these

winnings

shimmer...

Wurlitzer voices

like tantalizing snacks

and I can feel

the metal creeping up

a realization gravitational

that grounds the lot

...to cut and run

or face the music

and play it,

one more time

2024 JUN 23