I'm holding up so much more than I can carry.

I'm not okay.

I can not hold on anymore.

‘suburbia’ is a

sugar-coated society

in which

families of four

hide behind

locked front doors,

with a white

picket fence as

their only defense

There’s a saying, perhaps

A scientific fact -

No one’s face is perfectly symmetrical.

Perhaps this goes for bodies as well.

For I am right handed.

And all my damage is now

on my left hand side.

I want to tell my past self

That while my wrists are no longer equal

In appearance,

They hold so much more power with

My pen

Than past pain ever could.

Keep writing, babe. Don’t look back.

.

the ink spills out of my veins

in thick gushes

small rivers . on paper that doesn’t bleed

the only way

that I can communicate at times

so you don’t rip the words from my skin

but instead you read from my soul

my fingers are stained . but pen is never broken

dripping scarlet tears

turning words into sounds

making you hear a voice

centered around . a barely focused heart

.

It’s okay

You don’t have to love me

I write in the back of his head

It’s okay

I’ve got enough love for the both of us here

I lay my head on his chest

but his arms are ice

and I’ve burned myself enough times to know I’ll never melt him.

~renata ferretti

that sharp end of your blade

is entirely electrifying

just don't press it in too deep

I might not recover this time

I barely made it out before

***

I have woken

to so many

h o l l o w

mornings

and that

awful

ache

of absence—

*

I have woken

too often

without mirth

or joy

or peace

or hope

or light—

*

I have woken

alone

in the dark

with no desire

to wash away the night

and rise—again—

to disappointment—

*

I have woken

so many times

wishing I hadn’t.

***

#poetry

#freeverse