My soul feels empty

My metaphorical heart is wrenched from me

No words

No feelings

Nothing.

There's a weakness

Throughout my body

And spirit.

Drained.

Emotion sucked from me.

Not alone.

But lonely.

As you sit punching virtual buttons for virtual friends.

No conversation

Or sensation.

Just emptiness and a certainty that you won't leave me,

That leaves me lonely.

What is truth?

The glob of perception?

The sphere of difficulty?

...no, really I want to know...

Why is truth the one thing we all think we want, but get upset at when

it presents itself...coldy, in your face...even as you read this...

You'll think, "I can handle the truth...who is this Not-so-nice guy??!!"

Yeah, no you can't...I know I can't...and I especially have a hard time telling the ones I love the truth...its a double edge sword...it's the gulp you take when you are about to hurt someone with the facts of the truth when what you really want to do...is to protect them...but protect them how...with the proverbial white lie...

White lies are still lies...how can sparing someone's feelings from the truth...

be inherently good? Does this mean that the protection of the ones we love shoud be done at any cost? Does this prove humans to be inherently bad? To tell the truth, we have to cause pain but to spare pain we lie...

What the fuck is that???

My dad...may he rest in peace, that man knew how to tell you the truth...

"Hey, what the hell are you wearing? go change, that looks horrible"

"Hey, don't go out with that girl if you don't like her, there will be another in 10 minutes...respect yourself and her, even if you don't like her that way"

"Hey, don't go to that wedding thinking you are going to change her mind, she made her decision...it ain't you"

You may not have liked what he said, but it was the truth...he always seemed to know what intentions were...so...I try, as hard as I might to be as truthful as possible.

But I hate hurting the ones I love...I'm sure my dad did...well, I'd like to think he did.

But this has been a problem I have had ever since I came of age, the problem of wrestling with the truth...to tell it...or not.

I caught a glimpse of you today,

While scrolling through my phone.

You look better than ever,

The smile on your face reaches your eyes,

There’s light radiating from you,

And she’s laughing loudly into your chest,

With one arm around your waist.

You look so happy,

She seems incredible,

I hope she brings you light and love,

And I hope you give her reassurance

And the same unfailing support

You graciously gave to me

All those years ago.

I used to think I could never let you go,

But seeing you with her,

I know we made the right decision.

You’re happy,

And my heart is full.

to accept the moon

you can’t only have its crescent

you don’t pick and choose

what you have and what you lose

though it has its cracks and its craters

and the dark, unknown side

you love the moon for what it is

not for what it lacks

you, similar to the moon, have flaws

but, love yourself for them

not in spite of them

and while you embody this satellite

do not be fearful of your darker facet

to be vulnerable and allow a visitor in

and just because it’s dark

doesn’t mean you haven’t seen the light

and the cavities and craters

do not mean you’re crazy

having a hole does not mean you are broken

the rugged, rocky moon is similar

to the scars your heart has

but similar to the moon, you are beautiful

your acceptance is your completeness

you come full circle, as the moon does

I beg you, my companion,

Please tell me what to do

When my words hover hollow

And the darkness pushes through.

I beseech you, my friend,

Please teach me how to breathe

When the weight upon my chest

Is crushing all my dreams.

I implore you, my dear,

Please show me how to give

When my heart is bleeding black

And my eyes have turned combative.

And I entreat you, my love,

Please stand by my side

When my demons have taken hold

And are waging war inside my mind.

the turntable turns twice

troubled thoughts take time

that terrible tingling

tonight too

that taste

that temperature

that thirst

the tremendous tension

tell the thick truths

tumbling thunder

twilight ties the tongue

tornado touches the toxic trail

tonight too?

tonight... thou trembles

trapped?

true... trapped... tricked... turned twice

the truth tongue tied

tempting

touch

tonight

*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hM_kejkWeHU

Stars......

You don't have

To be one

Just be bright

Enough

To prove

You have

A reason

To be here

And that

Glow

Is enough

Of

A

Shine

To be

Seen

K.j.a. (c) 2017

Forever stood, in the field, just standing.

The scarecrows life is not so demanding.

Baking away in the heat of the sun,

Never is his days’ work done.

He guards the crops, stops the birds from feeding.

The smallest breeze is enough to send them screaming.

Up, up and away they urgently fly,

From where they came, back into the sky.

In the rain he sags with soaking.

In the wind he coughs with chocking.

But always with a smile upon his face,

The scarecrow stands tall and holds his place.

I love the way you touch me,

Like molten lava to bare skin,

I love the way you melt with me,

I can’t tell where I end or begin,

I hate the way you cool down,

And your hands will turn to stone,

I hate the way we’re destined to leave,

And ponder things we’ll never know.

Just for a single moment,

No more mirrors and smoke,

Just for five more minutes,

I’m asking you not to go.