What does it mean

When someone says

Love is love

It means that love is for everyone

Man, woman, transgender

It matters not

What matters is that they have that right

To be who they are

And to be loved as they are

No one has the right to judge

What they know about love

When even they don’t understand at all

#lgbt #support #pridemonth

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I groan, as my alarm wakes me from yet another dream that did not have a happy ending...if you know what I mean. I reach around looking for the offending item under my pillow, my fingers find the rectangle object that continues to screech until it is pulled out from hiding and my finger finds the stop button. I smile softly as I relax without the noise piercing my ears.

I roll onto my back and sigh softly as my eyes open for the day. I get up like every other day but today is a little different. I’m a little frustrated and I can’t seem to get this girl out of my head. Lilly, she’s tall, she’s fierce, that smirk, wow that smirk, but her eyes they captivated me. They felt so familiar but I have never met her before, I would remember her if I did. I’m living proof of that right now, she has been stuck in my head day and night. I see something and I think ‘oh I wonder if she would like that’ or ‘what does she look like when she wakes up’. She’s taken over my life and I don’t care. If you go through my small sketchpad you would think I were crazy, I start to draw and next thing I know it’s her, or part of her.

I get to work a little late as my morning run went a little longer than usual, well that’s what I told my boss. I wasn’t going to tell her I was doing extra activities in the shower and still not have a happy ending because my Aunt called. Even as frustrated as I am I still have a smile on my face as I smell the coffee in the air along with something sweet.

“Today is going to be a good day...please”.

I say to myself as I walk into the kitchen and start getting all the ingredients out. I’m making my Aunt’s lavender and honey cake. Between you and me, I don’t like it, lavender in a cake? Yeah, I know people use rose, okay, I just don’t like lavender. But I make it perfectly because my Aunt had me baking it as soon as I could sit up on my own. She had me sat on the bench as she told me, step by step on what to add and do. My first word was ‘egg’.

“Raven you know you don’t have to call and tell me you’ll be late to work, you come an hour early before it’s meant to be opened and you do all this. That’s why I chose you to be the manager. You go above and beyond like you

own the joint.”

My boss says as she walks in and washes her hands before she stands next to me and watches. I look at her and smile.

“I love this place and I love you, you gave me a chance at 15 and I made a hell of a lot of mistakes yet I’m still here. This place is like a home away from home.”

She pats my shoulder and goes to the office. A few hours later I’m out front, tidying up and I can’t help but listen in to these peoples conversation. I have tried blocking them out, but I all my brain does is focus on them and block everyone else out. It’s between a lady I would say in her mid 30’s and a lady perhaps in her early 20’s. I’m sure others are listening as well and if they’re not listening they can feel the tension.

“So how are you with children?”

“I’m very gentle and caring, but I don’t mind a little spanking myself.”

“And is that listed as one of your special talents?”

“If you do it right, then yes.”

“Tell me now, do you think obedience is an important thing when taking care of children?”

I can feel my face getting red as my frustrations get worse. You could practically hear them smirking and undressing each other with their eyes.

“At times yes, however, I have different tactics when dealing with, hard situations.”

“Is that so?”

I’m grateful my back is to them, my face is red enough. I couldn’t handle listening anymore so I turn to walk away but I freeze as my eyes land on hers, Lilly’s. I drop the plate by accident and it goes silent as everyone’s eyes are on me. but all I can focus on was her, how does she know I work here?

DID she know I worked here? How is it we are meeting again? All these questions are running through my head. She waves a small wave and I’m still frozen not moving, not breathing, but then she gives me a small smile and I smile back as then, I take a deep breath finally free from the frozen spell.

I blush brightly and start to clean up.

“Ray are you okay?”

I look up at my boss and nod my head yes.

“Yeah Mel, just a case of butterfingers is all.”

“Butterfingers my ass, who is that cutie that has you in a mess like this? In all the years I have known you, you have been like this once and that girl broke your heart just like you broke that plate.”

She laughs softly and I glare at her for even mentioning the last person. She puts her hand on my shoulder as she crouches down next to me.

“It’s different, I don’t know how but it just is. There is something about her. Gahh what am I saying, I don’t even know her. Well, I know her name and that’s it.”

She shakes her head and laughs at me.

“Go serve her.”

My eyes bug open “What?”

“Go serve her, that’s your punishment for breaking my plate.”

She smirks and I get up dusting off my apron. I take a deep breath and walk over to the til to grab my order notebook and pen. I take a few steps over to her table and smile.

“Hello and welcome to Wake and shake. And before you ask, yes I feel as ridiculous as it sounds to say that. What could I get you today?”

I smile sweetly at her as she leans back and lifts a single brow.

“Well, your rosy cheeks will do for starters, but that won’t suffice my hunger.”

My jaw drops and I can’t believe what I just heard. My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. Its moments like this I wish I didn’t have my hair up in a braid so I could look down and hide my blushed cheeks. She smirks that damn smirk and I shake my thoughts out into words.

“I... I... I umm”.

I clear my throat and start again.

“I recommend the Lavender and honey cake, even though I don’t eat it, I just make it perfectly and it’s our best seller. But if you’re looking for something savory I suggest the chicken and avocado burger. Okay, you can tell me to shut up now.”

I rambled on and on like a nervous 15-year-old in front of her crush. Mel is so going to pay for this. I divert my eyes to my notepad and write at the top ‘on the house-Mel’. She taps on the table making me jump a little and

I bring my eyes back to her.

“Oh no, keep going. you’re doing just fine, what else do you recommend?”

I silently groan as she basks in my awkwardness.

“I umm, gahh this is embarrassing because you know my name...”

I close my eyes and sigh before I continue.

“There is a meal called ‘the flavor of Raven’”. But I only recommend that if you’re hungry, hungover or well if you just like food. It includes chicken nuggets, curly fries, a mini chicken and avocado burger, bacon, eggs and

any sauce you want and a side of pancakes with a drink of your choice.”

“How interesting...Well, as much as I would like to experience ‘the flavor of Raven’ first hand...”

She smiles at me before looking at the menu, and I’m glad she does because I blush again and I bite my lip.

“I would like to pick for myself, let’s see. I would like to have one of those chicken avocado things you mentioned, double fries....pancakes with honey, scrambled eggs with toast, and a piece... no, make that two pieces of the lavender honey cake. And to drink, I would like some orange juice and... hmmm, just water, I am watching my weight.”

With a dropped jaw and shocked mind my eyes follow her hand as she moves it down her body as if to make a point.

“Oh trust me your body is great”

My eyes pop out as I realized I said that out loud.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry. Your order will be out here soon.”

I turn and walk away before she can say anything else. I feel her eyes on me as I walk off and I think I hear a chuckle come from her as well but I don’t chance a look I just keep going until I’m in the kitchen. Mel walks in

laughing.

“Oh, Raven that was really something. I like her.”

I glare at her and then smirk.

“Good because her meal is on the house. She doesn’t even know that and she ordered enough food to feed an army.”

“Oh, says the girl who eats this place out of stock when drunk or hungover?”

She crosses her arms and stares at me with this weird look. I cook Lilly’s meal and start to bring it all out to her.

Once I bring the last plate out and her glass of water and juice just in case, I stand there and smile.

“If you need anything just ask.”

I say sweetly before I walk back to the counter.

To be continued..................

Everything is ending,

Falling to dust and ash,

Reality is bending,

Leaving imagination to crash.

Everything is falling,

Ending in tragedy,

Death is calling,

Welcome to reality.

Everything is disappearing,

Leaving things in ruin,

Our hearts are tearing,

And this is all our doing.

I’m pulling sound waves from the silence

And rearranging them into rhythm.

I’m exhaling symphonies into the quiet

And conducting notes with every blink.

Witness entire orchestras assembled

From the whir of the fan

And the drumming of my fingers.

Anything to drown out the whispers...

Stupid.

Garbage.

Not good enough.

They creep in during those peaceful moments,

When the raging world is still.

Demons breathing doubt into gray matter.

Their slinking assault has no sound.

And they leave every unassuming spector blind

To the war raging inside my mind.

#poetry #doubt #mydemonsfeedinthesilence

But I missed you so much at first.

One year ago, when we had that argument via text

and you stopped responding

I missed you.

So I texted you once in awhile

gradually becoming more remorseful

But still, no response.

I knew that I need not apologize

because you were in the wrong,

but after I cursed you and called you names

and talked about how she trapped you

and how could you stand it,

then I knew I had crossed the line.

I missed you then.

I knew you were gone, though.

So I deleted my account

even though I knew

you would never find me.

I have all your digits.

It’s all online, isn’t it?

And your email right there too.

All the details of your life, I know them.

Your business.

Your home address.

Your girlfriend.

Where she works.

And even your baby’s name.

Although you didn’t tell me.

Yet, you don’t know me.

My real name.

Where I live.

Where I work (or don’t).

You don’t know much.

I firmly demanded discretion

and you obliged

without putting up

much of a fight.

So I am just a figment.

An ember from your past.

And the more time that goes by

I hope you know

and perhaps regret,

all that you lost.

Although, I doubt it.

I've got that rebel ramblen in my bones

Can't shake the country from my rock n roll, can't give up, can't let go. Yeah you know boys like me grow up fast. Chasing dreams as far as freedom and gasoline. Sending bridges up in flames

I've got outlaw in my blood

Whiskey's the rain in my flood

I've got about a million flaws

But nothing that bothers me much

Ive got outlaw in my blood

A few black sheep, I might be one

But that don't bother me much

I've got scars from skin to heart some I fought and some I carved. A life well lived or a war I've lost? These days I don't know, I just go with the flow

Chasing dreams as far as freedom and gasoline. Sending bridges up in flames

I've got outlaw in my blood

Whiskey's the rain in my flood

I've got about a million flaws

But nothing that bothers me much

Ive got outlaw in my blood

A few black sheep, I might be one

But that don't bother me much

I've been down every back road

And up all the creeks and rivers

Chasing down all my ghost

Trying to outlive my liver

I should tap the breaks try to take it slower. I should be wiser just cause I'm older, but my youth is too busy

Chasing dreams as far as freedom and gasoline. Sending bridges up in flames

I've got outlaw in my blood

Whiskey's the rain in my flood

I've got about a million flaws

But nothing that bothers me much

Ive got outlaw in my blood

A few black sheep, I might be one

But that don't bother me much

Love

Is a treacherous thing

It is not something to be messed with

Or taken lightly

It hurts

When it ends

War

Is a treacherous thing

It’s not something to be messed with

Or taken lightly

It hurts

While it’s happening

They both cause pain

They both end

With the promise

Of a new beginning

Love and war

Are sometimes the same

War can be caused by love

Love can feel like war

Love can be beauty

War can be pain

Love can be a reason for living

War can be a reason for death

Love can hurt

War can be getting a second chance

Love can be fighting for purpose

War can be standing up for your beliefs

But which is worse?

Which causes the most pain?

Losing loved ones to death

Or to life

Both consist of death

It is just a matter

Of if the death

Is of the body

Or the heart

Both consist of passion

It is just a matter

Of if the passion

Is of love for another being

Or of love for getting your way

Both destroy lives

Neither show mercy

All is fair in love and war

All is fair

Do what you must

Do what you want

All is fair

All is right

No one can stop them

No one can control them

We all try

To keep love and war

From controlling our lives

But it’s impossible

All is fair in love and war

They can’t be stopped

They can’t be controlled

Spend your life

Trying to stay away

And never realizing

That living

Is love

And living

Is war

They are inescapable

Stop trying

To run away

From life

All is fair in love and war

And nothing anyone will ever do

Will change that fact

You’re secretly sexy, you texted,

After our sweaty session.

I don’t know what it means, I thought.

But I like it.

A lot.

You used to call me hotstuff.

God, I love the way you lie.

When I said, "check out my fat ass."

You replied, “phat”.

Dammit, why did you have to play me like that?

Thinking back on it, what did I call you?

Here’s a few:

Asshole

Sociopath

Douche

Liar

Scumbag

Sorry, I guess I was kinda rude.

But what can I say?

I liked you.