I used to love how he said my name. All I felt was pure, unimaginable joy. My name was made fun of often and I hated it. Until he came around and taught me to love my name, but not just my name. He taught me how to love myself as well. But now he's gone, left me, but not before treating me like shit. Now I hate my name again, but I hate yours even more…

There's fire in my system,

running through my blood.

My ice shield is melting.

And I can't stop it now.

Why is it all burning now?

Something simple to light the trail,

of gunpowder leading to my soul.

So here I sit, throwing my fit,

Of unadulterated fury at the sky.

I feel so mad, yet I feel so sad,

Confusing emotions, I cannot lie.

I can barely figure out what it is,

That's the strongest in my mind.

Unreasonable depression,

Unasked for anger all here, in me,

But it's a mess I can barely figure out.

A miscellany of my emotions.

It's a mess, I agree yes,

Of something that makes no sense.

But after this, I crave a bliss,

In contrast to feelings this intense.

I feel like a ticking time bomb,

But my timer is cracked now,

So here I sit, no idea when

I could ever explode.

Is this feeling I have now,

my final moments before I do so?

I don't know, is it all for show,

A ruse by my own mind?

But even here, with the end maybe near,

I have yet to meet a fate more kind.

For in such a state,

With an end so late-

Coming, here I wish,

That someone come,

And take away this numb,

feeling with the dish.

The dish, best served cold,

My breath I can no longer hold,

For revenge to release me,

From these cruel eternity.

You know not what I now know

Your time is coming, boy, you will learn

Your stubborn ears don't hear a thing

Every scar a badge of honor earned

Do you know what made you run away?

Have you given it a moment of thought?

No - you've regressed

into a drunken mess

Numb your brain, numb the pain,

Whiskey shots

What I know is who you are deep inside

Your cowardice is your biggest flaw

Too scared to accept the life we planned

And too scared to cut ties - you withdraw

You know not what I now know

I know that most relationships won't last

They're stamped with an expiration date

I think our "use by"date may have passed

Do you know your actions are cutting me?

Do you care that Im over here bleeding?

Do you think I'll wait for you forever?

Do you like me best, crying & pleading?

You know not what I now know

It's unnatural the way you turn so cold

To turn off emotions like you turn off a lamp

How are your emotions so controlled?

You know not what I now know

I learned the hard way, I earned my scars

Yet I was dumb enough to fall for you

So dumb to think the dream could be ours

I know a truth, you'll find out as well

I think soon your eyes will be open

There's not enough liquor in the world

To fix a lonely heart that has been broken

I know what you are going to know

But you're going to learn the hard way

You are not entitled to a goddamn thing

And every dog does NOT have his day

You know not what I now know

Happiness is not guaranteed

It's a limited offer, may not come again

Grab on tight, don't let it recede

I don't think you and I stand a chance

Not while you're a walking shit show

We are squandering the love we should embrace

Soon enough, you'll know what I know

Youre the reason why i cant listen to those same songs i used to

I texted you the other day to see whats new

But the text stayed blue

I wish it wasnt true

Youre gone and i dont know what to do

I wish i had a clue

So much i wish i told you, only if you knew

I have a paper due, but the only things i can write are about you

youre a long way from home now

And theres nothing i can do

I wish youd come back to us dude

If you would have talked to us we could have helped you through

You were selfish

Did you ever think about the crew

Im sorry dude

I broke down when i heard the news

You should have seen the camera crews

Things wont be the same since we lost you

Everyone came to the funeral

The words your mom spoke were truly beautiful

But youre home now and thats indisputable

Your family has been up to the usual

Your brother nick grew up quick

Hes been kickin it with this chick

Wish you could see his clique youd get such a kick

Were starting to get a grip

We all know you were sick

Never thought youd be the one to slip

We took a trip to see you

Sparked an l and reminisced

You are truly missed

Im saying this with a clenched fist

Because im pissed

But ill see you when we coexist

For now ill just drift

And sift through the emotions

That inhibit the motions

I now understand the notions

You were gold and thats why you could never stay

Youre gone now

I just wish there was something i could say

I lost you in echoes, quietly

somewhere between U and I

I can still hear you whisper

in the corner of my mind

You sing that song

and it feels like sugar

Sweet, friendly pieces of tunes

melting on my tongue

I lost you in echoes, quietly

and I know that in the morning

the taste I love is

...gone.

This land is our land this land is your land

the greatest melting pot of citizens since Rome

is just a laboratory of vats stuffed with rats

floating in the stew of equality and self assurance

scratching tallies in the case for each passing day

just to grasp the passage of time

just to etch away the message “I was here”

I was here

what does it matter

sure you were here

here among the billions of others

why are you special

you die like everyone else

you ask the same questions

as the light draws away from your eyes

the final crescendo at the end of life

the point at the end of each crescendo

the light at the bottom of the ocean

or perhaps the dark at the bottom of the light

the final wish to be remembered

immortality in culture

ironically the way they describe lab grown cancer

the festering growth of malignant cells

a tax upon society it is to be remembered

the weight of thought at all times

to be remembered or to be forgot

the final question

to echo the words I was here

or to fade away

to be or not to be

The Earth is our mother and the giver of life in all things. Love her. Love her children. The flora, the fauna -- your brothers and sisters of man. Marvel at her stunning, ethereal beauty, rejoice in her seas and her fires and her winds and silty flesh. Run barefoot through her fields and forests, let her streams kiss you and renew you. Feel the raw unbridled love of the grasses and the trees as they stroke your flesh. There is no energy greater than the love this planet bears for us. Love her in return.